


Pirate of the Caribbean but it's Gay

by Ravissante



Category: VIXX
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Mention of Child Abuse, basically no one is straight in that world, it wasn't supposed to be poly but fuck that shit, mention of violence, small angst i swear, some lesbians shits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2019-11-28 22:36:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 76,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18214562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravissante/pseuds/Ravissante
Summary: The story of Cha Hakyeon accidentally getting kidnapped by a gay pirates crew.(i suck at writing summaries and honestly, it's just pirates and gay)





	1. the begining

**Author's Note:**

> Here my first long fanfic in English, I'm anxious,,, please be nice I'm not good in English, hope you will enjoy it! I just want to share my funny and fluffy ideas with the fandom! Thank you vivi and sermin for your hard work as my beta ;3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to follow Joseon history, so following traditional clothes and everything but I went wild so that au mix up different periods and clothing, it's more like another dimension. The Gay Pirate Dimension.

 

  


****  
  


" Amber, I don’t want to do that. "

 

Hakyeon was saying that for the 10th time, knowing very well there was no going back. Once his cousin decided on something, no one could say no. Also, it was too late anyway. She was already tying the belt around his waist. Too tight. He almost struggled to catch his breath.

 

" Stay still. I’m almost done. Can’t you do that for me? I’m getting crazy on this stupid boat, there is nothing to do. "

 

Hakyeon sighed and rolled his eyes to the sky. She wasn’t wrong. Their journey to their grandparents home was long and they were in the middle of the sea for days. And still no sight of the island. It had been two weeks since they left Korea... Hakyeon hated the sea. How much he wished he would have said no when his aunt asked him and Amber to visit their family. But how could he leave his cousin alone? He didn’t trust any man on this equipage, and he just didn’t trust any man, on earth and on the sea.

 

More than hating being in the middle of the ocean, it was fear. Every night he would curl in his bed and cry until he fell asleep. He knew the reason, yet he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

When he was around ten, his parents went for a trip on a boat. They never came back. His aunt and uncle told him pirates assaulted them.

 

Being trapped in this boat made him feel so miserable. There was no escape possible. Only the deep and dark ocean.

 

" Here! I’m done! Look how pretty you are, Yeonnie! I knew it! "

 

Hakyeon turned around to see his reflection in the mirror. He snorted.

 

" Are you kidding me? No one would buy it. My skin is way too tanned. "

 

" What are you saying, it makes you even prettier! A prettier girl than me, actually. "

 

Amber had put on him one of her dresses, her most expensive, a white one, and a pink waistband in satin. She had tressed his long hair into a crown above his head and put pearl earrings and necklace. She even applied some makeup. If he was being honest, he was, indeed, pretty. The outfit was simple but beautiful.

 

" Aren’t we the most powerful couple, like that? "

 

Amber stood next to him in front of the mirror. She had Hakyeon’s outfits and tied his hair in a ponytail. As her eyes were glittering, Hakyeon couldn’t say anything. His cousin was happy, and that was the most important thing.

 

" Imagine if I could dress like this every day. No stupid dress, no stupid makeup. No need to be pretty so I could please some disgusting men, just waiting to get married. Just who I am. Just me. "

 

Hakyeon couldn't find anything to say. He knew how much Amber was craving for freedom. Her parents just wanted the best for a young girl of her condition, but that wasn't the life she needed. He also knew very well she wouldn't stand there without doing anything. At some point, she would make a move to win her freedom. But when? What would be the price?

  


Suddenly, they felt the boat shaking, followed by a loud crash. Amber almost fell down, but Hakyeon held her firmly. Outside the room, screams started to rise, with the sound of swords clashing. Hakyeon started shaking. He knew what was happening. Pirates were attacking them. He didn't want to die. Not now. He couldn’t let his cousin die either. Everything happened so quickly, later, he would ask himself how was he able to react and take decisions so fast in this chaos. Probably what was called survival instinct. When you're in danger, you find inside yourself a hidden strength and you're able to things you never imagined you could do.

 

" Hakyeon, what's happening? "

 

She was afraid. He could ear it in her trembling voice, and he could feel her hand around his arm. He grasped Amber's hands and held them for a moment, looking into her eyes.

 

" Amber, you're going to hide in this closet. You're not going to make any sound. You're not going to try to stop me. Do you understand? "

 

" What?? No, I don't want to, I won't leave you alone, what are you- "

 

" Amber,  please. Everything is going to be alright. "

 

She tried to complain again, but Hakyeon was stronger and quickly shoved her in the closet, locking it. He wished that his cousin would understand that he was trying to save at least one of them and wouldn't do anything stupid. Thankfully, she stopped banging at the door and at the same moment, three men entered. Saying Hakyeon was scared would be a euphemism. He was absolutely terrified. The blood left his legs and he couldn’t make a move, couldn’t open his mouth. He never envisaged the moment of his death, always feared it but never knew it would come so fast.

 

_I’m too young._

 

However, the pirates didn’t move further. They stopped at the entrance, intimidating, tall, their face partially covered by a mask. They didn’t even look human, but some demons are sent by the Gods to set chaos. It wasn’t the moment, but Hakyeon noticed that the three of them seemed handsome, judging by their body and what could be seen despite the half face mask. A really unnecessary thought flashed his mind.

 

_In fact, I wouldn't mind being killed by them_

 

Really unnecessary.

 

Finally, one of them, the tallest, made a step toward him.

 

" Lady Amber? "

 

So they weren’t there by pure hazard. They wanted a ransom. He had a chance to survive, after all.

 

_Please, Amber, stay quiet._

 

How was he able to make feminine voice with that fear twisting his stomach?

 

_I’m going to throw up. It’s never going to work._

 

" Of course it is. Do you see another woman here? How can you not acknowledge the beauty of my presence in this dirty room? "

 

Tall Villain stopped walking, apparently taken aback by his insolence.

 

" She doesn’t look like a Lady. She sounds vulgar and has tanned skin. "

 

These poisoned words were said by one of the two men behind. Smallest, but still tall. He had wide shoulders, but a small waist and legs. But really, it wasn’t weird, it was, in fact, kind of attractive.

 

_Another unnecessary thought. Please focus on saving your life, Cha Hakyeon._

 

" I’m-- it's because of the sun. I stayed on the deck for too long. "

 

Tall Villain seemed to hesitate after what said Small Snake.

 

_Shit._

 

Thanks to the Goddess of the Sea, the third one was impatient and pinched Small Snake.

 

‘’ Shut up. You're being rude, and Taekwoon is waiting for us. I don't want to stay there any longer, it smells of death and blood. ‘’

 

Hakyeon's heart missed a beat...

 

_Death and blood._

 

Obviously, they were pirates. They wouldn't make any prisoner except their target. They were merciless.

 

Tall Villain was finally convinced by Small Impatient and walked toward Hakyeon, who didn't even tried to resist when he pulled him closer to him, almost touching his bare chest.

 

_Why the fuck isn't he wearing an armor and why his body is so--_

 

" Please come with us, Mylady, don’t try to resist and no harm will be made to you. "

 

His voice was deep and, strangely, kind of calming. If he weren’t a barbaric killer, he would feel in security between these strong and muscular arms.

 

Trembling, he nodded and, one step after another, he followed them. He didn’t dare to send a glance to the closet behind him.

 

_Please, stay alive. I’ll be waiting._

  


Tall Villain was holding his arm with so much strength that it was hurting him. He was starting to wonder if he wasn’t  going to lose his left arm when Small Impatient noticed his wincing face and gently patted the giant’s shoulder.

 

" Hey, go easy on her, you gorilla. She’s a fragile woman. "

 

_Fragile my ass. I can beat your ass whenever I want._

 

They reached the front desk, and Hakyeon couldn’t help but stop, shaken by nausea. Around them, no one was alive. It was only dead bodies, blood splattered everywhere, tainting the previously immaculate sail with the lugubrious color.

 

" What are you doing, you want to join them? "

 

It was the Small Snake again. Hearing his mocking voice made Hakyeon move again. He glared at him and muttered under his breath.

 

" Monster. Fucking monster. "

 

" Are you finally done? We had the time to finish all the dirty work here. "

 

Hakyeon jerked around at the really deep and low voice coming from behind him. He turned to face the man. If the other three were intimidating, this one was even more. His clothes were ripped from the recent fight, and the scars of previous fights could be seen beside numerous tattoos. He was as tall as the other, but Tall Vilain remained the tallest. in his right hand, he was holding a curved one-sided sword, crimson liquid dripping on the floor. He was the only one without a mask, probably lost during the battle. Or because he knew from the start that there wouldn’t be any survivors. His face was covered with dust, sweat and dry blood. His eyes were scanning him, and he felt like they were scanning his soul as well. His black -and grey, he noticed later- long hair was tied on a half ponytail. He was truly terrifying. Was he the captain?

 

" Are you serious? You ripped your clothes again??? Are you kidding me, clothes are fucking expensive you little bitch, especially the leather. "

 

It was the Small Impatient who talked, with a high pitched voice, hitting the man’s chest.

 

" Look at yourself. You disgusting little rat. I swear if you’re cut somewhere I’ll ask Hongbin to put salt on it. "

 

The Disgusting Rat looked at him with… Soft eyes? And chuckled. Blushing behind all the dirt on his face. He. Fucking. Chuckled. Like a teenager in front of his crush.

 

Hakyeon was confused in front of that weird scene. Two barbarians flirting in the middle of dead bodies.

 

For a second, Hakyeon almost forgot where he was. Almost. He was brought to the reality when Tall Villain pulled him away and almost threw him on the floor.

 

Hakyeon fell, the palms of his hands meeting the dirty floor. He felt a sting, and didn’t have to look to know that he was bleeding. He was about to shower the bastard with insults when he noticed a pair of shoes in front of him. Weird shoes, since they were covered with what looked like scales. Slowly, he raised his head, discovering a body covered with the same scales armor, and finally, there was a head, _a monster’s head._ Then he realized, it was not a monster's head, but a helmet imitating a dragon’s head. He started shaking, understanding that he had the big boss in front of him, even more dangerous than the Disgusting Rat. The man smiled, apparently enjoying the fear he was causing.

 

" You are Lady Amber? "

 

Hakyeon’s jaw almost dropped. His voice was weirdly soft, almost a whisper, not suiting at all his intimidating appearance. He tried his best to hide his surprise, making know a murderer that you find his voice cute was the last thing to do if he wanted to stay alive.

 

" Y-Yes, it is my name. "

 

" Can you confirm her identity? "

 

Hakyeon’s eyes widened. He didn’t notice at first, but behind him was the captain of the boat, covered in blood, but alive. They shared a glance, and Hakyeon prayed to the  God’s sea that he would understand. He did, and after a long sigh, he nodded, sending a last pitiful glance.

 

" It’s her. It’s the daughter of the Liu family. "

 

" Good. You can go back where you came from, and ask for the ransom written on this paper. There is also the place of the meeting. We will take care of the girl until then, but no dirty jokes, right? Or she might not be able to found a family. "

 

He threw a piece of parchment in front of him, and kicked him in the stomach, making the man fall, with a scream of pain.

 

_So at least, one of them was able to write._

 

" Be grateful that we spared your life, and give the body of your companions as an offer to the God’s sea, perhaps he will avoid you a bad tempest. "

 

Then he kneeled in front of Hakyeon, looked at him for a moment, before suddenly taking him by the waist and throwing him over his shoulder like a vulgar potato sack. Hakyeon would be offended, if he wasn’t focusing on not throwing up on the pirate. The smell of blood and the view of the dead men was driving him insane, and as he was seeing the captain disappearing, he realized that perhaps, he wouldn’t come back to take him. He felt the tears falling, and didn’t hold back the sobs coming from his throat. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see that anymore. He wanted to wake up from that nightmare. It wasn’t possible, it couldn’t happen to him.

 

The next time he opened his eyes, he was on the floor of another ship. The man finally took off the helmet and threw it to the Tall Villain.

 

Then, once again, he kneeled down to face Hakyeon.

 

If his voice was soft, so was his face. One side was covered by black hair, but on the other, there was a cat-like eye, watching him with curiosity, a mole just under it making him ridiculously cute. His skin was strangely pale for a man of the ocean, the helmet probably avoiding the burning sun. His small lips were pink and dried by the salt of the sea, his tongue constantly moistening them. If Hakyeon were honest, he would say that he was pretty. But for now, only the thought of the people killed remained, and he couldn't get them out of his mind.

 

He was feeling the captain’s gaze all over his body. He felt vulnerable and almost naked, as if he was able to see his true identity. He shivered and glared at him, hugging himself as if that could protect him.

 

His eyes went on Hakyeon’s chest, and he froze.

 

" Which kind of girl are you? You’re flat. "

 

Hakyeon blushed, and suddenly felt highly offended despite not even being a real woman.

 

" You do talk a lot, for a man with no ass. "

 

The words left his mouth before he could stop them, and even he was surprised. But after all, they could not hurt him, right? They said they would take good care of the lady until they get the ransom.

 

For a moment, he thought he offended the captain, but he heard laughter coming from the side.

 

" Be careful, the woman bites. Perhaps she should marry Hongbin. "

 

" Are you crazy? They would eat each other in no time. "

 

He didn’t have to see who talked, he recognized the voices, it was Disgusting rat and Small Impatient. In front of him, the captain seemed confused. He apparently wasn’t ready at all for that. Finally, he got up and tried to regain his majesty.

 

" I’m Jung Taekwoon, son of the Dragon, and captain of this crew. "

 

Hakyeon snorted.

 

" Son of a dragon my ass. What are the other, mermaids? "

 

He heard more laughter, and this time, the said Taekwoon was starting to get angry. He sent him a death glare and without another word, he turned his back and left.

 

At this moment, Hakyeon realized. If he wanted to survive, he would have to act like a girl. He had to become one. He had no choice.

 

How much he wished he had never put a foot on a stupid boat.

  
  
  
  



	2. Soft snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning, big amount of softness. Thank you so much for already giving me support when I just posted a small chapter, don't hesitate to give me your opinion~

As soon as the captain left the deck, the other followed and only Small Snake and Small Impatient remained. Small Impatient took off his mask and for a moment, Hakyeon thought that perhaps they’d discovered the truth or lied and were about to kill him. But apparently, they didn’t think “ Lady Amber “ could be a danger one day. Small Impatient smiled to him, and fuck it was like the Sun itself smiled to him. His golden hair was making a crown around his head, and his face was soft, naturally cute. He had a big nose and plumped lips, but it wasn’t disgracious at all. On the contrary, it was giving him a different kind of beauty. Hakyeon thought that perhaps, he was one of the most beautiful men he ever met.

“ Can you stand up? I’ll show you where you can rest “

Hakyeon hesitated for a moment. His legs were numb and heavy, he was feeling the backlash of the attack and all the stress and emotions that came with it. But he was afraid of admitting it.

To his surprise, Small Snake, who had been silent ever since they got on the boat, walked toward him. Hakyeon tried to step back, but the pirate was faster and grabbed his wrist. Hakyeon started shaking, of course, he was afraid of all the pirates, as beautiful as they could be, but this one was really scary, his words were full of poison and his attitude reminded him of a cobra.

But to his surprise, he just looked at his hands and sighed.

“ Are you dumb? You’re all careless barbarian. “

Small Impatient bit his lower lip and looked the floor, apparently embarrassed that he didn’t notice the scratches on his hands.

“ It’s not my fault, blame Sanghyuk, he’s the one who did it. “

_Sanghyuk? Is this the name of Tall Villain?_

 

Small Snake stayed silent a moment, before looking at Hakyeon’s face.

" I don’t think you can stand up. Am I right? "

Hakyeon shivered. It was as if he was reading his mind.

 _Of_ course _he can’t, or he would have noticed the thing between your legs you dumbass._

Then he kneeled and presented his back to him. Hakyeon blinked in confusion.

" What are you waiting for, stupid girl? For me to break my back? "

So he wanted her to climb on his back-

He gulped and extended his arms, placing them around his neck. Small Snake took her legs under his elbows and stood up, struggling a little bit to walk.

" You’re heavy, you seem to eat a lot. "

Hakyeon blushed and resisted at the temptation to hit his shoulder. He could drop him in the sea if he wanted, he didn’t doubt that.

He brought him inside of the boat, in a small and dark room. The curtains were closed, and it took a moment for Hakyeon’s eyes to adjust to the darkness. The man carefully placed him on a chair and took his hands to clean them and put some herbs on it, then enveloping his hands with bandages.

Hakyeon was a little taken aback by the duality of his harsh words and how delicate his gestures were. Judging by the way he took care of his cuts, he seemed to be in charge of the medic part.

Hakyeon was starting to be curious about the face of the man. He wanted to ask him his name and to take off his mask, but he also wished to live, so he stayed quiet. Once the man was done, he gave him a cup of- something. He sniffed it suspiciously and Small Snake snorted.

“ Don’t worry I’m not trying to poison you. You can drink it, it’s medicinal plants that will help you to relax. “

“ Excuse me but… Why are you suddenly so nice to me? “

“ Just because I’m a pirate doesn’t mean I have to be absolute shit. “

“ But… you kill people. “

The man had a bitter laugh.

“ You really know nothing about the life outside your golden prison, right, Mylady? “

He could hear the mocking tone in his voice. Hakyeon wanted to answer, but he realized that he was right. He never left his town, barely his house. He knew nothing about the world. But still, it seemed pretty wrong to kill people.

The conversation seemed to be over, because the guy stood up and left the room, leaving Hakyeon and the weird beverage alone. He sighed and decided to drink it. After all, why would he make the effort to take care of his wounds to kill him afterward? It was not really disgusting, but the taste was bitter.

_At the image of his maker._

He waited a little bit on the chair, not really knowing what to do. No one told him that it was forbidden to walk around, but he was scared of bumping into another pirate. The blond one seemed nice, but he didn’t know where he was.

As he was asking himself if he should or not go to look after Small Impatient, he felt his muscles slowly relax and his mind being dizzy. The potion really worked, after all.

There was a flash of light; someone opening the curtain and entering in the room. Despite the penumbra, he recognized the blond pirate.

“ Are you feeling better? Can you walk? If you can’t, I can call Sanghyuk or Wonshik to carry you… “

Hakyeon wasn’t sure who it was, but he didn’t want to see any other pirate for now. He just wanted to be alone, to feel safe, he was tired of all this shit. He shook his head and stood up. His legs were shaking, but holding on the guy’s arm, he was able to walk.

“ You must be tired. I’ll show you where you can sleep. “

“ You’re not tying me? “

“ Why should we? That’s not like you can go really far away. I don’t think you’re going to stab us in our sleep, and even if you succeed defeat five strong men like us, you don’t look like you will be able to navigate alone. “

He wasn’t wrong, but being seen as a weak woman was a little bit frustrating. He never learned to fight properly, but he still knew how to defend himself.

He led him into a small storage room. Hakyeon looked around him and didn’t see any bed. It was going to be rough.

“ You can rest here. You can go wherever you want, but it’s better for your safety to stay there. And you probably don’t want to be burned by the sun. “

My safety?

He suddenly realized that he was, indeed, a woman for now. Were the pirates… dangerous like that? Should he also be careful with the guy talking to him? Perhaps the blonde was acting nice so he could take advantage of him . Hakyeon stepped back, eying him suspiciously.

“ Hey, are you okay? “

He tried to move forward, but Hakyeon extended his arm, indicating him to stop.

“ Stay where you are. Don’t move closer. You’re a man. I’m a woman. You’re a potential danger. “

His interlocutor frowned, taken aback.

“ What, you- oh. Yes, I see. I understand that you might be intimidated and careful but we’re not THAT bad, you know… “

“ I have no proof. Until I change my mind, none of you must come near me, or I’ll make sure you’re not able to procreate children. “

The guy gulped and stepped back.

“ O-Okay, alright, I’ll tell the others. I’ll bring you food and water daily, so… see you later, I guess. “

He left the room and Hakyeon realized he was holding his breath. He collapsed to the ground and made himself as small as possible, hugging his knees. He wanted to disappear. He wanted to be on land. He wanted to run away. He fell asleep like that without even noticing it.

 

 

He didn't know for how long he’d slept, but when he woke up, beside him was a plate of food and water. It wasn't luxury good, but it was still better than nothing. After filling his stomach, he finally was able to think properly about the situation. The fact was there; he was the prisoner of the pirates and had to deal with it. The pirates had killed the whole équipage of his own ship but didn't hurt him, even healed him. When he was asleep no one came to disturb him. Perhaps, he could breathe properly around them without being in constant fear. Perhaps. He still needed to be careful. If he didn't want his identity to be discovered, the best would be to stay in that storage room until someone comes and saves him. Yeah, he was going to do that. Not leaving that safe place.

 

He got bored of it two days later. He couldn't see the daylight but counted the meals. Then, he made the decision of going outside. If he stayed there without seeing the ceiling and breathing fresh air, he was going to get crazy. He had enough time to compose himself.

Once he was on the deck, he was blinded by the sunlight. He had to close his eyes for a second but took the opportunity to throw his head back, breathing in the ocean air deeply.

‘’ what… What are you doing there? ‘’

He slowly opened his eyes, getting accustomed to the light, and turned his head to face Small Impatient.

He smiled to him, noticing he was standing at a reasonable distance of him.

‘’ I was bored. I wanted to walk and see the sky. Also, it seems like you weren't lying, you're not dangerous like that. ‘’

Small impatient smiled back to him, relieved.

‘’ By the way… Do you have a name, pirate? ‘’

‘’ Of course. I'm Lee Jeahwan, to serve you. ‘’

He made a small reverence, the gesture making Hakyeon chuckle.

‘’ You seem to be a pirate with manners. ‘’

‘’ Of course I am. I wasn't always a barbaric pirate. ‘’

Hakyeon was curious about it. That was true, none of them seemed to be born pirates. He wanted to know their stories. But it was probably too early for that. And why should they tell him?

‘’ Alright then, nice to meet you, Lee Jaehwan. Would you be kind enough to introduce me to your comrades? I'm curious about their name as well. ‘’

‘’ Sure, My Lady, I'll look for them. Would you come with me? ‘’

Hakyeon smiled at the way both of them were talking, more in a joking tone rather than being actually polite. He held the arm Jaehwan was holding, thinking that really, he was a charming pirate.

The junk wasn’t that big, but still enough to have different rooms. Jaehwan explained that in the hold, they were keeping food and water provisions and were sleeping on bamboo mats on the ground. on the deck, there was two rooms; the laboratory of Hongbin ( Small snake’s name, Hakyeon learned) and the storage room where Hakyeon was sleeping, and on the first floor was the captain’s room, which was a forbidden area for him. On the deck of the first floor, they found Disgusting Rat. At first, Hakyeon’s first reflex was to hide behind Jaehwan, but he soon realized but with his face and clothes clean, he was much less intimidating. He noticed his soft droopy eyes that were giving him a sleepy look. His hair was tied in a high ponytail this time. He smiled softly at Jaehwan, not even noticing Hakyeon.

“ Hi Jyani, what are you doing there? You came to see me?“

_Jyani? The fuck is that?_

“ Don’t take your dreams for reality, dumbass, I only went up to show Lady Amber the ship. “

Only then he seemed to notice Hakyeon’s presence, and his eyes widened.

“ Oh, uh, Hi! My name is Kim Wonshik. “

Hakyeon raised an eyebrow and whispered at Jaehwan’s ear:

“ Okay but, why is he standing at the other side of the deck suddenly? “

“ Don’t mind him, he’s just not comfortable with women. Alright, we’re leaving Wonshik. “

He waved at them, a crisped smile on his lips. Once they were too far to be heard, Hakyeon couldn’t hold back his curiosity this time.

“ What’s his problem with women? Was he rejected so much that now he has a trauma? “

Jaehwan burst out laughing as if it was the funniest joke ever.

“ No, in fact, it’s the opposite. Wonshik is gay. “

“ He’s WHAT. “

“ Don’t be so loud, he wouldn’t like me to tell people about his sexuality. What’s with that reaction, do you have a problem with it? “

His tone was suddenly colder, Hakyeon guessed it was a sensitive subject and he should be careful with his answer.

“ I mean… Not really… It’s just …. surprising, for a pirate, I guess… And I never met someone like that… I’m used to women being married to men, the kind of people were always despised by my aunt and my uncle. “

Jaehwan seemed to accept his explication and relaxed.

“ Well then, Shikkie will be your first. He’s really and caring, you will probably see once he get used to your presence. “

Excuse me but who is the hostage here? And what with these disgusting nickname are you two dating or what?

“ So, uh, are the other… Like him? Gay? “

Jaehwan blushed and quickly shook his head.

“ Oh God no, he’s the only one. I heard that before I entered in the equipage, he had a crush on Hongbin and confessed. I’ve been told he had to get surgery cause something bitted him, almost ripping a piece of flesh. Since then, he gave up on him and is over it now.“

_Yeah, he seems to be into someone else now you dumb pirate._

 

“ So… You’re not into men either? “

“ To be honest, I don’t really know, I’ve never fell in love with a man before, or with anyone else. With Taekwoon, it’s difficult to know because he doesn’t talk a lot about himself and his feelings. But one thing is sure, Sanghyuk and Hongbin are absolutely straight. There is no one more straight than them!

 

 

 

\-----------

 

“ Sanghyuk, slowly, please… You beast… “

“ Mph…”

“ I know, for me too it’s been a long time… “

Hongbin held his breath as Sanghyuk started biting his neck. He couldn’t allow himself to make a sound, it was still the day and the other could come anytime in his laboratory. Sanghyuk originally came to get some tea for Taekwoon, but he couldn’t contain himself from kissing his boyfriend aggressively. He missed him. It’s been a while since they had some time for them.

“ Sanghyuk stop now, I’m going to have marks, it will be difficult to cover them. I promise you, as soon as we make a stop by a port we will catch up. Please wait a little bit. “

Sanghyuk groaned but stepped back, visibly sulking. Hongbin smiled fondly at him and pinched his cheeks.

“ You big baby. Can’t you wait just a little longer? “

Sanghyuk sighed and hugged Hongbin’s waist tightly, who was sitting on his lap.

“ I don’t like hiding like that. Why can’t we tell the others? It’s not like they’re gonna make a big deal out of it. Everyone knows that Wonshik is gay. At least, we could talk to him about it, he would be understanding. “

“ Yes but… if we talk about it with Wonshik, he might not be really happy about it since he…. felt that way toward me, and even if he’s fine with it, he’s going to tell Jaehwan, who will tell Taekwoon and probably the rest of this earth. And they’re going to make fun of us, they're going to make fun of ME for being a softie, we don’t even know what Taekwoon would think about two members of the equipage dating. He might kick us, we never know with that dickhead. “

Sanghyuk furrowed his eyebrows and poked Hongbin’s waist.

“ Hey, don’t talk about him like that. You know how much he has done for us. “

“ I know, but he’s too … Too dark and emo. He seems to enjoy maintaining his dark aura around him. He rarely talks to us, I thought we were more than a simple equipage, we’re supposed to be friends. “

“ That’s true… But are you really in the place to talk when you who bite whoever tries to get close to you? “

Hongbin blushed, hiding his face in Sangyuk’s neck.

“ Don’t bring that story back. Wonshik is an idiot. “

Sanghyuk chuckled and patted his hair.

“ I almost feel sorry for him. I’m lucky to be stronger than you. “

“ No. You’re just different than him, you’re Han Sanghyuk and I love you. “

For a moment, Sanghyuk wanted to tease him for being so sweet when he was usually abrasive like a wildfire, but he knew very well that only he had the power over Hongbin. He was the only one to know his secret, to know how nice and caring he could be. He knew how fragile Hongbin was, how much he craved for attention and needed to be taken care off.

“ Talking about that, I hope this bastard is over you. Or I’ll have to fight him until one of us dies. “

Hongbin looked at him, looking for the joke and wrinkles at the corner of his eyes indicating he was laughing silently, but he seemed serious.

“ Are you stupid? If you kill him, I’ll kill you as well and give your body for the crabs to feed on. “

" Who’s body are you going to give to the crabs? "

A sudden voice behind them made Hongbin jump from Sangyuk’s laps and he rolled under the table while Sanghyuk stood up so brutally he bumped into the table, making the vials and bottles fall.

" KIM FUCKING WONSHIK, CAN’T YOU KNOCK? "

" Hey, I can’t, there is no door, only a curtain, and what were you doing anyway? What are you doing under the table? "

" Nothing. It’s not of your business. I made something fall and couldn’t find it so I asked Sanghyuk to help me. "

Wonshik sighed and seemed to buy it.

_We’re lucky that he’s stupid._

" Of course you can’t see anything, it’s as dark as my butthole. "

Behind him, Hongbin could hear a growl.

" Wonshik. I do not wish to know how your butthole looks like. And I have had enough of Sanghyuk, now please go away. "

" Well, sorry but Taekwoon sent me cause he wants his tea and he’s waiting for Sanghyuk to bring it to him for ten minutes. "

The said Sanghyuk rolled his eyes to the sky.

" I’m not his fucking slave, he always asks me to do everything just because I’m the younger, but that’s not fair. Jaehwan joined our crew later, I should have some privilege as an early team member. "

Hongbin smiled and gently pushed him outside.

" Sanghyuk, don’t be a child and do what the captain asks. "

He handed him a teapot, Taekwoon’s favorite, and winked at him, taking the opportunity that Wonshik has his back turned. He silently articulated, his pink and soft lips moving in a sensuous way that was driving Sanghyuk crazy :

" See you later, darling. "


	3. Childish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon is childish, Wonshik is bitter, Sanghyuk is jealous, Hongbin is torn, Jaehwan talks too much and Hakyeon have an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks Sermin for that chapter <3
> 
> thanks everyone for your comments and kudos, it makes my day brighter uwu

Taekwoon was not childish. Absolutely not. He was a really mature and responsible captain, but this girl was really annoying. First of all, she was weird. He knew something was off. Usually, he wouldn’t be really attracted to girls. He wasn’t gay like Wonshik of course not, he was absolutely straight, but he just didn’t find the right pussy. That’s all. This girl, coming from nowhere, was giving him an unusual sensation. He felt his skin shivering and his heartbeat racing for a moment when he met her eyes. Not only was she the daughter of a rich, dangerous and powerful man, but she was also really, really disrespectful. How could she dare to make fun of him, the fearsome captain Jung Taekwoon, who the legend said whispered over the ocean, was the son of a Dragon. Everyone fears him. Everyone avoids meeting his gaze. Except her. Despite being shaken by all the kidnapping thing and trembling, she still sustained his gaze and even roasted him. She roasted him, Jung Taekwoon. This was unforgivable. Just thinking about that situation made him feel embarrassed and his cheeks flushed. That was absolutely not the reason why he sent Hyuk to get him some tea, he wasn’t embarrassed at the idea of accidentally bumping into the girl, no it’s just that he was tired. And the younger member of the crew should do these kind of things, right? He would never fear anyone, especially not a rude girl. 

 

_ How do they raise young girls nowadays? _

 

He let out a big sigh, throwing his head back. What was that kid doing, he’s been gone for probably 20 minutes now. Did he fall in the sea or did Hongbin eat him? The second option was more plausible.

 

Finally, he heard the door cracking open and heavy footstep on the floor, followed by another one. He raised his head, sending a death glare at Sanghyuk who put the tea on the table. 

 

‘’ The fuck were you doing? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting ? “ 

 

Far from being impressed, Hyuk rolled his eyes to the sky, not even answering to his grumpy captain and left the room, leaving Wonshik; the only one able to deal with Taekwoon's bad temper. 

 

‘’ What’s with you, these days? You're not leaving your room and you're being an ass to everyone. Last time you acted this way was when Hongbin refused to let you bring a cat on board. You refused to talk to him for two weeks. ‘’ 

 

Taekwoon didn't answer, getting up to pour himself some tea. Hopefully, this tea will help him sleep without any dreams. 

 

‘’ Hey dick head, I'm talking to you. ‘’ 

 

Taekwoon turned his back to him, obviously signaling the end of the discussion. 

 

“ Don’t tell me you’re like this because of that girl? You can’t be serious, she’s no one, just a girl- “

“ Shut up, leave me alone. “

 

Wonshik placed a hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder, determined to understand what was wrong.

 

“ Hey, talk to me, talk to us, we- “

 

Taekwoon slapped his hand away and pushed him.

 

“ Didn’t you hear me? I said FUCK OFF. Go away. Now. “

 

Immediately, something flashed through Wonshik’s eyes, and he punched Taekwoon in the face, and not letting him react, grabbed him by the collar. 

 

“ Listen to me, fucking bitch. You freed us and we gave you our loyalty so don’t ever treat us like slaves. Don’t fucking dare. Don’t become what we escaped from. Never EVER raise your hand on us. We are a team, we are friends, so talk to us. Don’t close yourself. Starting tomorrow, you’re going to eat with us, you’re going out, and stop using Sanghyuk like that. Leave the kid alone, don’t you think he suffered enough? “

 

Taekwoon lowered enough, and Wonshik knew he was feeling apologetic. He sighed and released his grip. The message was received. No doubt that tomorrow morning he was going to make excuses to everyone and perhaps give them kisses.

 

_ Gross. _

 

Once he left the room, he realized that the night has already fallen. He stayed immobile for a moment, contemplating the ceiling and milky way. How much he liked seeing that, feeling the fresh breeze of the ocean on his skin. It was like feeling the whole world.

 

He moved when he felt his fist stinging. He raised  his hand to his face, and realized that he was bleeding. 

 

_ Perhaps I punched him too hard. Hongbin is going to kill me.  _

 

He still decided to go, waiting would make it worse.

 

He found Hongbin reading a book, some candles places in the room. He was about to open his mouth when he noticed Sanghyuk, who was sitting on the floor, his eyes closed and his head resting against Hongbin’s lap who was stroking his hair. The scenery made Wonshik’s heart clench, and he wished he never entered. His feelings were slowly fading away and the wound caused by Hongbin’s teeth had healed a long time ago, but his soul still hadn’t. 

 

He coughed, and Hongbin finally realized his presence. His hand in Sanghyuk’s hair froze, making him open his eyes. Judging by his sleepy face, he was not far from falling asleep.

 

“ What do you want Wonshik? It’s late. “

 

Hongbin’s tone was cold, and Wonshik’s heart clenched a little bit. He knew he was interrupting an intimate moment. 

 

“ It’s nothing. I can take care of this on my own. “

 

He was about to leave, but Hongbin gently pushed Sanhyuk’s head and got up, grabbing Wonshik’s hand with a disapproving look on his face. 

 

“ It’s not ‘nothing’, as I can see. Did you two fight? “

 

Wonshik refused to answer. He didn’t want Hongbin nor Sanghyuk to know about his fear and weakness. Especially Hongbin. 

 

“ It’s nothing. He just went too far. “

 

Hongbin seemed to understand that he wasn’t gonna say anything with Sanghyuk in the room and quietly asked him to leave. Then, he gently sat Wonshik and proceeded to take care of his bruised knuckles.

 

“ He must have gone pretty far, for you to lose your patience. How many times did I talk to you like shit, yet you never got angry and apologized instead? “

 

Wonshik still didn’t want to answer, but then he realized that he was doing exactly what he was blaming Taekwoon for. 

 

“ It’s not the same thing. I’m not in love with Taekwoon. “

 

Hongbin blushed and stopped his movements for a moment. So it was possible to fluster him after all. 

 

“ Wonshik, I already told you- “

 

Wonshik chuckled, but there was no joy in it. 

 

“ I know, Beannie, don’t worry, I won’t ask you anything. I already know that you can’t return my feelings. I’m getting over it. Just wait a little bit, I promise you that someday both of us will be able to be friends like before. Like nothing happened. “

 

Hongbin couldn’t say anything. He wanted to say something comforting, but the words were stuck in his throat. He wasn’t used to saying them. It was too late anyway, Wonshik was leaving. He watched him go out of his vision and found himself at the verge of crying. He wasn’t the one who was rejected, so why was he feeling like that? Why did he feel torn apart seeing Wonshik sad and already accepting his fate?

  
  
  


\----------

  
  
  


Hakyeon was exhausted. Exhausted, but strangely happy, despite being a hostage. He spent the day talking with Jaehwan on the deck. They didn’t even talk about their private lives, but Hakyeon shared some stories he heard in the town, and Jaehwan told him tales of the sea. It was the first time he had talked for such a long time without being scolded. His aunt was very strict and made him study the whole day, he was able to talk only with his cousin; since the servants didn’t have the right to talk to them. When the day started to fade away and the wind rose, they both went into the storage room. Jaehwan brought him some blankets and pillows and they were still talking. 

 

“ I didn’t ask but… Your hair… why is it blond? Are you mixed blood? Are your parents from a foreign country? “

 

Jaehwan laughed and ran a hand through his hair, the reflection of the lantern making it shine like gold. It was truly mesmerizing, Hakyeon had never seen such hair.

 

“ In fact, one day, I put a small fish in Hongbin’s shirt. It was really funny to watch him scream and run everywhere, but once he got rid of it, he threw me one of his vials, I don’t know what was in it but all my hair fell and I was bald for weeks. When it grew again, it was like this. “

 

Hakyeon didn’t know if he should be concerned or laughing. That Hongbin guy was truly scary.

 

“ What the fuck is with that guy. He bites, he threw poison on your face, he’s rude… “

 

Jaehwan softly smiled at him. 

 

“Rude? Are you sure? Remember how he carried you when you weren’t feeling well. Hongbin is like that. Life wasn’t fair for him, no one taught him softness and loving words. He doesn’t know how to express himself in a way other than barking, but he cares with his acts. The day Wonshik got bitten, he cleaned his wound and put a bandage on it. When my hair fell, he gave me a lotion to make them grow faster. “

 

Hakyeon stayed silent for a while, eyes focused on the flame of the lantern, thinking. He was slowly learning that everything wasn’t black or white. He started to understand the complexity of humans souls. He would realize that only later. For now, he was still trying to decide what to think about Hongbin.

 

“ What was his life before he became a pirate? What made him so defiant? “

 

Jaehwan hesitated a little, scratching the back of his neck, a gesture that was betraying his nervousness.

 

“ I’m not sure if I’m allowed to talk about it. He didn’t even tell me, Wonshik did. He will never tell you anyway. “

 

“ I know it’s not my place to ask, but I want to understand him. “

 

Jaehwan shook his head and quickly got up. 

 

‘’ I'm sorry, not now. I'll leave, you should rest tho. ‘’ 

 

Hakyeon wanted to add something, but Jaehwan was gone, and he was left alone. It was a weird feeling, to suddenly meet the silence when his day was full of blabbering and laughter. Somehow, he felt relieved to be alone. Acting like a girl was tiring. At least when it was only him, he could be himself. How much he wanted to get rid of that stupid dress, how did Amber tolerate it? Immediately when his thoughts went to his cousin, he couldn't help but feel a wave of nostalgia. He missed her. Was she alright? How many days until they reach the land and tell her parents that they need to find him? He fell asleep with all these worries inside his mind, a dry tear on his cheek.

  
  
  
  
  
  


\------------

  
  


“ What did you two talk about? “

 

Immediately when he left his room, Hongbin was greeted by Sanghyuk’s voice. He was waiting for him on the deck, arms crossed and he probably tried to seem mad but his pouty face was just adorable. Hongbin chuckled and pinched his cheek, earning a glare from the younger.

 

“ You big baby, are you jealous? Do you think Wonshik is still trying to court me? “

 

“ I don’t trust him. What if he purposely hurt himself as an excuse to talk and touch you? “

 

Hongbin sighed and this time gave a smack to the back of his head.

 

“ Don’t you trust me? Don’t you trust HIM? Before being my lover, you’re his friend. And you know very well that Wonshik is way too honest for these kind of tricks. Now please shut up and come to sleep. The night is pretty advanced and I need to rest. “

 

Sanghyuk didn’t have a choice but to shut his mouth and follow Hongbin. 

 

_ What, can’t I be a little bit possessive? After all, I got the most beautiful man of the earth and seas.  _

  
  


\---------------------

  
  


Next morning found Hakyeon even more alert than the day before. He was getting accustomed to his condition, and thoughts in his brain were circulating faster. He took some time to compose himself and tie his hair into a braid and washed his face with the water bucket that Jaehwan left. He was a little bit afraid that the pirates would end up getting suspicious since the make up scrubbed off a long time ago, but for now they weren’t paying that much attention to his appearance. He’s been on this boat for what, four, five days? It felt like eternity. He calculated quickly. They would take two weeks to go back to where his aunt and uncle were living, and perhaps three, four weeks to meet the pirates and exchange the ransom. Would he be able to stay alive until then? He didn’t have a choice. He wanted to stay alive. He was so afraid of death, he must fight until the end. He finally left the room, to see that the five pirates were sat together on the deck, eating what looked like rice and fish. When he appeared, the conversation died, but Jaehwan gestured him to come sit next to him. His head low, he followed the silent order and Jaehwan gave him a bowl with the same food on it and a spoon. He started eating and slowly, the chattering around him started again. He shyly rose his head, realizing it was the first time since he was taken that all of the pirates were together. He tried to remember all of their name : 

 

_ Jaehwan is Small impatient, I already know that. He likes talking and is sometimes a little bit childish. As I noticed the first time, he doesn’t like to wait.  _

 

_ Next to him… It’s Wonshik or disgusting rat. I don’t know a lot about him, except that he’s gay and is uncomfortable around women. He’s intimidating but seems nice once you know him. He seems especially nice around Jaehwan.  _

 

_ After, it’s ...  Tall villain. If i recall properly, his name is Sanghyuk. I haven’t really talked to him yet. He’s scary and tall but still has a baby face. He seem to be young despite trying to be intimidating.  _

 

_ Beside him… It’s Hongbin, Small snake. He’s not that small, but next to Sanghuk, he really looks tiny. He’s hard to understand, abrasive and warm at the same time. I’m curious about him.  _

 

_ The last one… It’s Taekwoon, their captain. He want to keep a certain image but without his scales he seem much less intimidating. His face might seem closed and cold but actually, I kind of find him cute. If he smiles, I’m sure he would be even prettier… _

  
  


“ What are you staring at? “

 

Hakyeon jumped, realizing, mortified, that he was, indeed, staring at his face. He quickly lowered his eyes, blushing. 

 

“ Nothing, I’m sorry. “

 

To his surprise, Taekwoon didn’t seem mad, and didn’t say anything. He turned his head to Jaehwan, determined to forget the intense eyes he met, which seemed to look into his soul.

 

“ Excuse me but… I feel dirty, I don’t even know when was the last time i had a proper bath. When will I be able to clean myself? “

 

“ Well, usually we use our water stock to make a quick cleaning, except Wonshik who doesn’t wash. “

 

“Hey! That’s not true! I do wash! Sometimes! I’m just saving water. “

 

Jaehwan chuckled and patted Wonshik’s shoulder.

 

“ Sure. Anyway, we’re running out soon, so we’re going to make a stop in the next village. We’re not far from an island where we usually stop. “

 

Hakyeon nodded and immediately, the beginning of an idea started to grow.

 

“ I see. I’ll be able to take a bath, then? “

 

“ Sure, We will probably buy you some clothes too, this one is starting to get dirty and even has blood on it. We can land you some pants- “

 

Hakyeon quickly shook his head.

 

“NO! I mean, I’m a lady, I can’t wear those. “

 

If he was wearing more masculine clothes, then for sure they would understand that something was wrong. No, he could endure staying in that dirty dress for a little bit longer. He thought of his cousin. This dress was her favorite. Well, it was the one she found the least annoying and ugly. Once he would take it off, he felt like nothing would attach him to his cousin’s spirit. He was kind of scared to be left alone, without anything to hold onto, waiting to be delivered.

 

_ It’s just a dress. It’s nothing. You’re going to meet your cousin soon, they are coming back soon.  _

 

Once lunch was over, he sat alone in a corner, meditating what Jaehwan said. Earlier, he had an idea. It was a big risk to take, but he had to try. The pirates didn’t seem that bad, gaining their trust won’t be difficult, and they would give him more freedom once they were in the village. Then, he would be able to escape. He would leave the woman costume and they would never be able to find him. He would find a boat, and he would be back to his aunt and uncle, without making them pay for the ransom. That was an amazing plan.

  
  



	4. the tears of the dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakyeon discovers the joy of laundry and happen to break Taekwoon's nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for leaving kudos and comments! They all really cheer me up. I'm sorry if I take time to answer at some comments, I don't know how this thing works lmao. Anyway, I'm sorry this story is becoming a little bit angsty but I swear everyone is going to be alright.

'' Can I help you? ''

 

Hongbin rose his head, meeting the ladie’s eyes in front of him. She was crouched and watching his moves with attention. Hongbin snorted, sending her a mocking smirk. 

 

'' What, you want to wash clothes of some dirty men? Why would you do that? ''

 

The lady blushed and lowered her eyes. Despite having a strong temper, she was still really shy with him. It's not like he was surprised, he knew that usually, people didn't like him. He couldn't blame them, he knew he treated everyone like shit. But he couldn't help it. He didn't know how to talk properly to people, especially those he just met. With the other members, it was different. He knew them for a long time, and they knew him enough to know there was no harm behind his bites. They learned to deal with it and he found himself softening with the years spent with them. Still, he was defiant with strangers, especially these kinds of people. They were rich, arrogant, powerful. They never had to fight for life, they always knew luxury. They think pirates are evil. So how could they understand him?

 

After some time, the lady (Amber, he remembered. That was her name.) answered.

 

'' I'm bored. I've been on the sea for such a long time, and since I'm a Lady no one allowed me to do anything. I just have to sit and wait. I'm starting to go crazy. ''

 

Hongbin stopped his moves, raising an eyebrow. 

 

'' Do you even know how to wash clothes? I doubt that you ever tried this. ''

 

The lady blushed again but this time, her eyes wouldn't leave his face. She was getting braver.

 

'' I don’t know, that’s true. So please teach me. “

 

Hongbin had to admit, he was a little bit taken aback by the sudden confidence of the girl. He hesitated only for few seconds before gesturing her to come and sit next to him. He shivered a little feeling the warmth of her body against him. He wasn’t used to someone other than Hyuk coming close to him. She didn’t hesitate for a second to come as close as possible. He tried his best to not show how flustered he was by her.

 

“ You see… you take the soap and rub the dirty spots like that, then you soak it with the water. You do it until it’s clean… well less dirty, then you wring out the water, and you spread the clothes on the sun. Can you do this? “

 

Amber, lips pinched and brows furrowed, nodded, her eyes focused on his moves. Without makeup, her face looked … different. She was still gorgeous, of course, but there was something else. He couldn’t put a finger on what was disturbing him. 

 

“ Okay. I can do this. I’ll take care of this, thank you Hongbin! “

 

She smiled to him, and Hongbin quickly averted his eyes before she could see him blushing. It was the first time that a girl was smiling at him.

  
  


“ Alright then, I’ll wash the dishes since you’re at this. ‘’

 

He took the dirty bowls and spoons that they used for the lunch with him and proceeded to wash them while using as little water as possible. It would be stupid to die of thirst before reaching the next port because he was too enthusiastic with cleaning. They could wait for washing dishes and clothes, to be honest, but really, he hated dirt.

 

They stayed like this, for perhaps half of a hour, without sharing a single word. From time to time, Hongbin raised his head to check on her, but she was extremely focused on her task. He didn’t expect her to be so invested in such things. No one even asked her. After some time, she finally tried to break the ice.

 

“ Are you the only one doing that, usually? Why aren’t the others helping? “

 

Hongbin considered ignoring her, but she probably wouldn’t shut up if he doesn’t answer. 

 

“ Sanghyuk usually helps me, but for now he’s busy, and I don’t want the others to help me. “

 

Amber interrupted her move, apparently surprised.

 

“ Why? “

 

“ They would make things even dirtier. And Jaehwan is too loud. I like doing that alone, it helps me clear my mind. “

 

“ I see… Then… does that mean that I’m disturbing you? Should I leave? “

 

This time, it was Hongbin’s turn to be surprised. Was she trying to be considerate? Why? He squinted, not really knowing what to think about it. 

 

“ It’s okay. You’re not bad at it, and you’re not too loud. “

 

Amber seemed to feel relieved. Was he that intimidating? 

 

“ Is it okay if I continue to talk with you? At home, I’m not allowed to talk with other people. There are a lot of things that I don't know. “

 

Hongbin blinked in confusion. The girl was really not like she imagined. She wanted to learn. She was fearless. She didn’t hesitate to talk with the pirates. She was definitely different from the other rich people. He thought she would be disgusted by them and stay hidden in a corner of the boat, crying.

 

“ I don’t mind… You can ask whatever you want, I will try to answer. Just don’t forget to do your work at the same time. “

 

Amber smiled again, returning to her laundry, seemed to choose her words carefully. 

 

“ What are you guys doing all the day on this boat? When you’re not busy slashing throats and robbing people. “

 

Hongbin couldn’t say if she was serious or if it was some weird some sense of humor but chose to ignore it.

 

“ We find some occupations. There is always something to do. Sometimes we rest, but on the sea, you have to be always on edge. You don’t know what could come. A tempest, sharks, fog, enemies. You always have to stay alert. Even if we rest, Taekwoon stays awake. He doesn’t sleep a lot. “

 

He wishes he could hide the concern in his voice. He hated when others can sense his emotions. But he was truly worried about their captain. His temper was getting worse, which was the sign that he was getting tired. It was a good thing that they were going to take a break.

 

“ You seem to care a lot about him. “

 

“ Of course I do. We all do. We owe him a lot. “

 

The lady was opening her mouth to ask something when she was interrupted by Sanghyuk.

 

“ Hey, woman. The captain is calling for you. “

 

Hongbin raised his head toward him, about to tell him that the lady had a name and that he was being rude when she stood up, hands on her hips.

 

“ Just because you’re tall doesn’t excuse you to not have manners. I’m not “hey, woman”, I’m Lady Amber or Milady. I’m also probably way older than you. I can let you just call me Amber if you struggle that much with honorifics. “

 

Sanghyuk was dumbfounded, not knowing what to say, almost embarrassed to be scolded. Definitely, he was starting to find her less and less annoying. It was really amusing to see that big bear being scolded by that fearless small lady. 

 

“... Okay, uh, Lady Amber or whatever, the captain is calling for you. Please follow me. “

 

His tone was more polite, even if he was obviously awkward since he never had to be polite with anyone. Amber turner his head toward Hongbin eyeing the unfinished laundry. 

 

“ Is that okay, Hongbin? I couldn’t finish... “

 

Hongbin outlined the ghost of a smile.

 

“ Don’t worry. I’ll finish. Just go before the captain throws a tantrum. “

 

She nodded and followed Sanghyuk, who turned his head a last time, winking to him. Hongbin’s smile widened, as he was discreetly waving to him.

  
  
  
  


\---------

  
  


While Hakyeon was following Sanghyuk, he realized it was the first time that he was alone with him. He was about to wonder if he should try talking to him but to his surprise, the other took the first step.

 

“ As I can see, you seem to get along with Hongbin. “

 

His tone was a little bit cold, and Hakyeon wondered if he did something wrong.

 

“ Well… I can’t really say that we get along, we just exchanged some words. Nothing more. “

 

Nothing more, yet he couldn’t get out of his mind the small smile he caught before he left. Just enough to show a dimple. For a moment, it made him forget that he could be a potential danger.

 

“ Yeah, that’s what I said. Exchanging some words with Hongbin without getting bitten is a sign that he might start to appreciate you. “

 

Hakyeon would be scared if he didn’t have that conversation with Jaehwan the night before, so he just chuckled. 

 

“ You’re exaggerating. He’s not THAT bad. He’s pretty nice, actually. “

 

He saw the other man scrunch his nose and snorting. 

 

“ Seems like you two are really going to be close. “

 

There was something strange in his voice, he couldn’t really identify it. Was it sourness? It sounded like jealousy, but why the hell would he be jealous? Definitely, these pirates were difficult to understand.

 

After that weird exchange, both of them stayed quiet until they reach the captain's room. Unlike Hongbin's, this one had a wooden door. They stopped before entering, and Hakyeon's heart started beating faster. He remembered Jaehwan's words: no one was allowed here, yet he was about to enter the forbidden entrance; devil's entrance. Sanghyuk seemed to notice that he was shivering and hesitating to enter, his pinched lips and pale face.   
  
'' Hey, relax. He's not going to eat you. ''   
  
There wasn't any concern in his voice, he was without doubt making fun of him. That was irritating.   
  
'' But Jaehwan told me... That no one is allowed here... ''   
  
Sanghyuk looked at him with confusion, before bursting out laughing.   
  
'' And you believed him? You believed a pirate who kidnapped you? That's cute, you're so naive. Jaehwan is always overacting. Everyone can come in that room, Taekwoon would eventually whine a lot, but nothing a warm tea can't shut down. ''   
  
Hakyeon blushed, this time because he was starting to be really frustrated. All these pirates were making fun of him, acting like it was the best hobby ever. Determined, he pushed Sanghyuk aside, kicking the door without even knocking before, ignoring the laughs behind him. Hilarious, really it was hilarious.

 

He didn’t even take a glance at the room, directly walking towards the desk in the middle of the room. Taekwoon, who was sitting behind, almost choked on the tea he was sipping and ended spitting it on him. That almost made Hakyeon laugh. Almost.

 

“ What do you want? “

 

_ Motherfucker. _

 

Taekwoon stood up, staring at him with a murderous glance. For a moment, Hakyeon realized that perhaps, it was Sanghyuk who was tricking him and that he was about to die. But right behind him, he could still hear the loud laugh of Sanghyuk, who seemed to be having the time of his life.

 

“ What the fuck? Can’t you knock like a civilized person?? “

 

“ You’re not in the position to give me manner lesson, pirate. “

 

He raised his chin proudly, not intimidated a single second by the captain, who seemed to fulminate. His cheeks were flushing, because of embarrassment or anger, he couldn’t really tell. Finally, he took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers, a hand resting on his waist. After a moment, he looked at Sanghyuk, who was trying his best to kill the laugher in his throat, but that was only making a ridiculous gurgling sound. 

 

“ Alright, enough with you, little brat. Thanks for bringing me the girl, you can go now. “

 

Sanghyuk didn’t wait to be told that twice and left, closing the door behind him, and Hakyeon was pretty sure he heard him mumbling something like 

 

“ Poor door, it’s okay, you’re not hurt. “

 

Once they were alone, Hakyeon’s anger calmed down, realizing he didn’t know why he was brought there. The captain went in front of him and Hakyeon froze. His eyes were dark, his face emotionless. Suddenly, the man started unbuttoning his shirt, with jerky gestures, betraying his impatience. Hakyeon’s heart stopped beating, he felt drenched in cold sweat. What the fuck was happening? Was it… What he thought it was? It couldn't be, right? They said they wouldn't touch him. He was able to finally move when the pirate was half naked and coming closer. Then, closing his eyes, he did the first thing his brain told him. He punched him right in the face. Taekwoon screamed and almost fell, holding the desk just in time to not lose his balance. He held his face in his hand, eyes widening when he noticed his nose was bleeding. He looked at his hand, then at Hakyeon, dumbfounded. 

 

“ What the fuck?? Fucking Bitch?? “ 

 

Hakyeon frowned and retracted his hand close to his chest. He sent him a warning glare.

 

“ Don’t even dare coming closer, bastard, or I’ll cut off your balls. “

 

“ What the fuck are you saying?? “

 

“ You heard me right, don’t dare putting a single hand on me, disgusting pervert. “

 

Taekwoon tilted his head, blinking in confusion. 

 

“ Wait… You think… “

 

He had a nervous laugh, his nose dripping blood all over his chest as he was trying to wipe it with his hand, making it only worse.

 

“ Are you serious? I was trying to take a dry shirt in the closet behind you since because of you I was wet! “

 

_ oh fuck. _

 

Hakyeon should feel scared, ashamed, embarrassed for making such a mistake, but honestly, the outraged look on his face was worth it. He didn’t forget that he was responsible for the death of many people.

 

“ It’s your fault. You were weird and just undressed like that, in front of a lady, what were you thinking? “

 

Taekwoon looked even more outraged. Glorious. He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it, dropping himself on a bed. 

 

“ Why is everyone punching me, lately? “

 

Hakyeon realized two things. First, he had a black eye, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t because of him. Secondly, he looked exhausted. He didn’t even try to defend himself. Hakyeon really shouldn't feel bad. But the man in front of him, despite being a dangerous pirate, looked so tired, sad and lost. He couldn't handle people being sad, especially if it was because of him. After all, he never treated her roughly. He sighed. He was stupid and too nice for his own good. He ripped a piece of his dress and carefully, raised a hand in front of his face. 

 

“ Listen… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard and didn’t know someone did it before. “

 

Seeing that Taekwoon wasn’t going to move, he proceeded to gently wipe his face. Taekwoon didn’t say anything. He was just watching him with these indiscernible eyes. Hakyeon tried his best to ignore them. 

 

“ Alright, I’m going to bring you some water to clean everything. Wait for me and don’t move.”

 

He left the tissue on the floor and quickly left the room before the other could say anything. When he was on the desk, looking for a bucket of water, he met Jaehwan and Wonshik who were talking. Jaehwan raised his head and smiled when he saw him but that smile disappeared fast.

 

“ Hakyeon? Everything is alright? Why is your dress ripped? You are livid… “

 

Hakyeon shook his head, trying to organize his thoughts. 

 

“ No, it’s okay, I’m fine, don’t worry. I just… I.. accidentally punched the captain…”

 

He bit his lips, nervous, knowing the whole crew was caring for him. But Jaehwan looked at him with admiration, laughing.

 

“ Wow, really?? You really got some balls. “

 

“ I’m not really proud of it… Apparently, someone already punched him not long ago. “

 

“ What?? Who the fuck?? “

 

Immediately, Wonshik coughed and looked at the floor, his feet shifting. Jaehwan turned his head toward him suspiciously.

 

“ Wonshik? Was it you? “

 

Wonshik wouldn't meet his eyes, embarrassed. 

 

“ That’s… That’s not… I can explain… “

 

Jaehwan furrowed his eyebrows, apparently not enchanted by the news.

 

“ You better have a good reason. “

 

Hakyeon decided to leave them alone, it wasn’t his businesse anymore and Taekwoon was waiting for him.

 

When he returned to him, he was laying down and when Hakyeon came next to him, he realized he was asleep. Hakyeon hesitated, perhaps he should tell another member of the crew, but Jaehwan and Wonshik were busy, Hongbin would kill him for hurting their captain, and he was still mad at Sanghyuk for making fun of him earlier. He had no options. 

 

He sat at the edge of the bed, took off Taekwoon’s boots, wrinkling his nose. What was he thinking, sleeping with his shoes on? Was he that tired? Then he drenched the piece of cloth and finished cleaning the remaining blood already starting to dry on his torso. He really lost lots of blood… Was he asleep or did he collapse? Was he even alive? He looked carefully and noticed his chest going up and down, slowly, in a regular rhythm. Everything seemed to be fine. What a relief, he didn’t accidentally kill the captain of a dangerous pirate crew. He was finishing his work when he realized that really, that man had nice proportions. His long torso was not too muscular, but still was the body of someone who exercises regularly. Unlike Wonshik, his skin was white, immaculate from any scars. He seemed to take care of himself, or was he that strong that no one succeeded to bring him any harm? Hakyeon shivered. That man was a whole mystery. He looked at his face, noticing that half of his face was always covered by black and thick hair. He slowly brushed his finger with them, surprised by their softness. He thought that pirates were dirty, not washing, their body and hair covered with salt and burn by the sun, but at least the captain was concerned about his appearance. Even his nails were properly cut and clean. His own fingers still in his hair, he decided that he was curious about seeing his whole face. The first half was kind of pretty, just kind off, nothing more. His high cheekbones and his full cheeks with these small pink lips were giving him a baby face. Or a cat. A baby cat. That was ridiculous, a pirate baby cat. He chuckled, pushing aside the hair of his face, and the laugh died in his throat. The skin of the left side of his face, from his forehead to his cheekbone, was burned. Hakyeon couldn’t contain a small gasp of surprise and his hand started shaking. He retracted his hand fast, but not fast enough. Taekwoon’s eyes opened and he grasped his wrist, holding it tightly. Hakyeon tried to move, but the pirate was stronger. 

 

“ Are you satisfied, now? Are you happy with what you saw? Are you disgusted? “

 

His tone was cold and angry, his eyes were even darker than before. He didn’t seem to mind about his wet shirt, not even about his face being punched, but Hakyeon apparently hit a sensitive spot.

 

“ I’m… I’m sorry… “

 

Taekwoon laughed, a laugh denuded of any humor or happiness, a laugh that sent a shiver right down Hakyeon’s spine.

 

“ So what? Do you want to touch it? Do you want to make fun of it? Do you want to tell everyone that the terrible captain of these bloody pirates is a disgusting monster? “

 

Hakyeon averted his eyes, shaking.

 

“ Please, stop it, let me go… “

 

“ Or what? What are you going to do? Tell everyone that you found captain Taekwoon ‘s weakness? Or you’re going to punch me again, finish your job and disfigure me even more? “

 

Hakyeon shook his head, eyes closed, fear taking possession of his mind and body. He didn’t know what to say, what to think, what to do. He needed to breathe. He couldn't let the panic win over him. 

 

_ Calm down. Take a big breath. He’s not going to hurt you. He can’t hurt you. He’s just like a wounded animal. He’s the one scared, if you’re scared he will feel it. Just keep your calm. _

 

When he opened his eyes, he was the master of his feelings again. He looked straight into Taekwoon’s eyes and talked with a calm and soft voice.

 

“ I’m not disgusted. I’m not afraid of you. You’re not a monster because of that, your scar doesn’t define you. Only your action does. You’re a monster because you kill innocent people. “

 

Taekwoon’s hand started releasing his firm grip when he heard the first words, but when he finished his sentence, he held him even stronger than before. Hakyeon let out a small whimper. 

 

“ What are you… That hurt, stop- “

 

“ I kill innocent people you said? Do you even know what you’re talking about, you clueless girl? What do you think about an innocent child who got his face burned because he tried to escape from misery and slavery? WHO is the monster? “

At the end of his sentence, his voice broke, and Hakyeon felt suddenly horrible. He started to regret his words. Taekwoon was right. He didn’t know anything. He really had no idea. 

 

“ Listen… I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry for you… ‘’

 

Taekwoon finally released her. She should run, she should hide, before he changed his mind. But she couldn’t. In front of her, the man started crying. It was a single tear, quiet, and Taekwoon quickly wiped it, visibly embarrassed that he witnessed that. Hakyeon sat down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“ Hey, it’s okay, there is no need to be ashamed. You can cry. It’s alright. I won’t tell the others. That doesn’t make you less strong… Actually, I was wrong. That means that you have feelings. That you aren’t a monster. “

 

This time, Taekwoon let out a loud sob, and before Hakyeon knew what he was doing, he quickly hugged him, holding him in his arms, stroking his hair, while he was crying into his shoulder, drenching his dress. He didn’t mind, it was dirty anyway.

 

“ I didn’t choose it. I didn’t choose this life. I’m not a monster. “

 

He was repeating these words, over and over, like a mantra, until they became whispers, to finally stop. Hakyeon understood that he fell asleep again. Gently, he lied him down, wiping his wet face with thumbs.

 

What was he doing? Comforting a pirate like a kid? He was aware that it was stupid, ridiculous. Yet he couldn’t ignore the despair he saw in this man’s eyes. 

 

Since the beginning, these pirates kept repeating that he didn’t know anything. They kept acting nicely, even better than the people he knew from his house. For a moment, he almost forgot his plan to escape.

 

“ That’s weird. “

 

He was whispering, as if he was afraid that someone could hear him. 

 

“ That’s weird, on this boat, trapped on the sea where I’m supposed to be a hostage, I feel free. “ 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst and fluff, basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is longer than usual! Once again thanks to Sermin who make that story enjoyable to read. Thanks for the kudos, comments, don't hesitate to tell me how you feel about that story or chapter even if that's negative

 Jaehwan was really pissed. He would like to say it was unusual but he was, actually, very often pissed. He really had a short temper. But in his defense, this time he had a good reason. Wonshik punched Taekwoon when he knew he hated violence.

 

_ That's stupid. A pirate who hates violence.  _

 

As stupid as it could sound, that was really something he couldn't bear. That's why most of the time, he stayed behind during the attacks. He knew how to fight, he just didn't like the view of blood. It made him want to puke. It was disgusting. Everyone in this boat knew it; that's why they avoided unnecessary violence and

torture with enemies. When they killed, they did it fast and out of Jaehwan's sight. Fights amongst the crew members were also prohibited. It was one of their rules. Despite that, Wonshik did punch their captain. Of course he had a good reason, but still, that was annoying Jaehwan. He didn't even know why. When Amber told him she punched Taekwoon, he was just surprised and, he had to admit, a little bit impressed. So why was he that annoyed with Wonshik? It was getting ridiculous. Even more with the fact that since he heard about it the day before, he was sulking, not talking to him, and that stupid pirate was giving him puppy eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to be mad for a long time, and that was annoying him even more. 

 

‘’ Jyaniii… ‘’ 

 

He tried his best to ignore the whining voice, focusing on what he was doing. Which didn’t  even require that much attention, yet he did his best to look focused. 

 

‘’ Jyaniii, please, I know you're listening to me… ‘’ 

 

He still wouldn't turn his head. He wouldn't lose. Not this time. 

 

‘’ Jyani, please, the cutest… ‘’ 

 

Here he was again, trying to hit his weakness. 

 

‘’ The cutest boy on the earth and sea…. ‘’ 

 

Jaehwan pursed his lips and gritted his teeth. He wasn't weak. He could resist. 

 

‘’ The most adorable and lovable, the nicest… ‘’ 

 

Jaehwan let out a big sigh and rolled his eyes to the sky, finally looking at Wonshik. 

 

‘’ Fuck you, Wonshik. What do you want? ‘’ 

 

The puppy eyes turned into a bright smile and Jaehwan's stomach made a weird thing. 

 

_ No need to worry, probably something you ate. Don't pay attention . _

 

‘’ Please don't be mad… I

I said I was sorry…. Please talk to me again… ‘’ 

 

Jaehwan put down the paper he was holding, crossing his arms on his chest. 

 

‘’ It's not me that you should say sorry to. And you know it. ‘’ 

 

Wonshik pouted, fidgeting with his fingers. 

 

‘’ But it wasn't my fault, he was being a jerk… I don't see why I should be the one apologizing. And it was useful, now he comes to eat with us and even talks a little bit more. ‘’ 

 

Jaehwan glared at him. 

 

‘’ Then I can't forgive you, and you can't cuddle me. ‘’ 

  
  


Wonshik looked panicked, and threw an arm around Jaehwan's shoulder, making the papers around them fly. 

 

‘’ No!!! You can't do that!! ‘’ 

 

‘’ Then apologize to Taekwoon and give him a hug. He's been also having a hard time. Don’t forget what he gained for saving your ass, back then. You should be eternally thankful

. ‘’ 

 

This time, the words seemed to affect Wonshik who lowered his head, ashamed.

 

“ I know… It’s my fault that his face… Alright, I'll do it. Now please let me cuddle! ‘’ 

 

Jaehwan sighed, feeling a little bit guilty for reminding him that but relaxed his back against the wooden fence behind him. 

 

‘’ Fine. But don't forget to do what I told you. ‘’ 

 

And Wonshik looked as happy as a dog who found his favorite toy… 

  
  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


‘’ What the fuck are they doing? ‘’ 

 

‘’ I don't know, but that's gross. ‘’ 

 

Sanghyuk chuckled, placing a hand on Hongbin's waist. 

 

‘’ Don't be jealous, baby, I swear I'll give you all the attention you deserve once we're alone. ‘’ 

 

Hongbin blushed and stepped back. 

 

“ Are you crazy? Someone might see us. “

 

Sanghyuk again, had that laugh which makes him sound like a teenager. How much Hongbin treasured that laugh. 

 

“ How could they, we’re on the last floor, above everyone. Only the seagulls can see us. “

 

Hongbin pouted and crossed his arms on his chest. 

 

“ That’s already too much. “

 

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes to the sky but didn’t try to touch him again. Good puppy. Hongbin brought his attention to Jaehwan and Wonshik below them. Jaehwan was looking at some maps spread in front of him when Wonshik came to sit with him. Before Jaehwan came, Hongbin was the only one able to read. Not well, but he still could understand some things. When Jaehwan joined, Hongbin asked him to teach him what he knew. He wanted to be able to read medicine books. The other three didn’t want to learn, pretending it was too late and that a pirate didn’t need to be a savant, and since they were with them it wasn’t necessary. Hongbin really tried to teach to Sanghyuk, who was the youngest, but their studying sessions soon turned into making out sessions. It was hard to focus when the two of them were alone.

 

“ Where are Amber and Taekwoon, by the way? “

 

Sanghyuk shrugged. 

 

“ I don’t know, it’s been three days that they are always together. When I asked Taekwoon, he just told me they were talking. He’s weird. “

 

Hongbin had a mischievous smile.

 

“ Wonshik is going to lose his bet. I was right, Taekwoon is not gay. “

 

Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow. 

 

“ You made a bet over Taekwoon’s sexuality?? He’s going to kill you if he hears of this. “

 

“ He will never know, don’t worry. “

 

“ In that case, I want to play. My guess is: he likes both men and women. “

  
  
  


\-----

  
  
  


Since the day Hakyeon punched Taekwoon and he ended up crying in his arms, the two of them grew closer. Taekwoon was calling for “ Amber “ each morning after Hakyeon helped Hongbin clean the dishes. Then, they spent the day together. Sometimes it was small talk, sometimes it was Taekwoon asking him to read some books. Hakyeon didn’t know why he asked him, he knew Hongbin and Jaehwan knew how to read. When he asked, he told him his voice was relaxing. There was a silent agreement between them, to never talk about that night when Taekwoon broke down. But since then, he was softer with him. Hakyeon found himself enjoying these peaceful moments. The days passed, and he was less and less convinced that Taekwoon was a monster. One night, he was resting in the small bed Jaehwan and Wonshik made for him when he realized he was getting too attached to him.  He was slowly falling asleep, when he saw his pretty face, pretty lips, pretty eyes, just in front of him. But suddenly, he could see hurt, disappointment, and anger in these eyes. He tried to reach his hand but realized his sleeve was gone. He looked down at his body and saw he was naked, his true body revealed. He quickly covered himself with his arms, but it was too late. He opened his eyes, out of breath. That wasn’t right. He felt a pain clutching his chest. He was struggling to catch his breath, shaking and sweating. It was the first time since his parents died that he was having a panic attack. Thankfully, he succeeded in calming himself down quickly. But the fear was remained. What was he going to do, if he discovered the truth? He needed to take some distance. 

 

 Obviously, it was easier said than done. On that small boat, it wasn’t easy to hide and escape for too long, and he couldn’t find any good excuse. At least, he could avoid coming too close to him, pretending to be embarrassed because he smelled bad. It wasn’t entirely false. He really, really missed his daily bath. He missed the warmth, the delicate floral scent, the candles. Being on that stupid boat was really getting on his nerves. He knew they were arriving at the port soon. He couldn’t wait to finally escape and be able to talk with civilized people. 

  
  
  
  


\-----------

  
  


The next day, the land was finally visible. Hakyeon felt some tension leaving his shoulders. Finally, the end of a nightmare, he was going to escape. 

 

_ A sweet nightmare. _

 

Soon they reached the port, and Hakyeon was surprised that they didn’t even try to hide their boat. Did the people living there not know they were dangerous pirates? Perhaps he should ask Taekwoon later. He also mentally noted the position of the island, once he escaped, he could give that information to the guards to capture them, since they stopped there often. 

 

Before they left the boat, Taekwoon gathered them.

 

“ Alright, all of you have free time today to do whatever you want. We have to meet at the hostel once night falls. Tomorrow, we’re gonna split into teams to look for food, water, and everything we need. Any question? “

 

Hongbin raised a hand.

 

“ What are we going to do with Amber? Is she going to stay on the boat? Is it okay to leave her alone? “

 

Hakyeon mentally cursed him. He was going to make his plan fail. 

 

“ You’re right, it’s dangerous for her to wander alone. Who wants to go with her? “

 

Wonshik quickly stepped back. 

 

“ I can’t, I’m going to see Taemin. That’s not a place where a lady should be. “

 

Everyone except Hakyeon seemed to miss the disapproving look on Jaehwan’s face. Who the hell was Taemin, and what was this place where he couldn’t go?

 

“ Alright, then… Hongbin? Sanghyuk? “

 

Hakyeon clearly saw Sanghyuk’s jaw clench and Hongbin glare at Taekwoon.

 

“ We can’t. We already have something planned and we’re not fucking babysitters. “

 

Taekwoon looked at Jaehwan, raising an eyebrow. But he smirked and raised his hands.

 

“ Hey, I also have things to do, and I already take care of her every day on the boat. I pass. “

 

Hakyeon’s plan was to be alone, yet he felt a little bit offended that no one wanted to be paired with him. Taekwoon let out a big sigh.

 

“ Alright, I got it. She’s going with me. We can’t leave her on the boat, that’s not fair. “

 

Hakyeon reprimed a desapointed face

 

_ It’s okay, you have two days to escape. You will find a way. _

 

They left the boat, and as soon as he put a foot on the wooden dock, Hakyeon couldn’t hide a smile. It felt so good to walk on a stable floor. He almost ran to be able to feel the ground. How much he missed this feeling. Taekwoon chuckled softly before grabbing his arm. 

 

“ I know you must have missed the earth, but don’t go far from me. “

 

“ Hey, I’m not going to escape, relax… “

 

Taekwoon frowned.

 

“ That’s not… I trust you not to do anything stupid. But this town is dangerous. “

 

He didn’t say anything more, taking the lead. Hakyeon was growing nervous. He took his hand, shaking his arm.

 

“ Why is it dangerous? What’s wrong with this town? “

 

Taekwoon sent him a quick glance, before looking back at the road in front of him leading them to the first houses of the agglomeration. 

 

“ It’s… a special town. “

 

“ What do you mean? “

 

Hakyeon was starting to be worried, as they were coming closer to the town. Soon, they were walking in front of men that sat on the floor, smoking, drinking with each other. They were poorly dressed, some of them missing an arm, leg or eye. They were watching them suspiciously, with a dangerous glare. Hakyeon shivered and pressed himself closer to Taekwoon. 

 

“ Who are they? Why are they looking at us like that? “

 

For a moment, Hakyeon thought he was going to ignore his question. 

 

“ It’s a pirate island. The position is unknown to everyone else. It’s a place where they can rest when the sea becomes too tiring, or when they are injured. “

 

Hakyeon tightened his grip around Taekwoon’s arm. 

 

“ But… aren’t they fighting? They are pirates after all… “

 

Taekwoon snorted, more amused than offended.

 

“ They are pirates, not beasts. Why would they fight other pirates?  Moreover, the law forbids fights or robbery on this island. “

 

“ Pirates have a law? “

 

“Of course, as I said, we aren’t all savage beasts. Those who ignore the laws are killed. “

 

Never ever Hakyeon could have imagined that pirates could be an organized society. 

 

“ And… do you have a chief, a king or something like that? “

 

Taekwoon nodded and chuckled. 

 

“ Not a king. A queen, actually. “

 

“ Wow, really? Women can be pirates, too? “

 

“ Obviously, there are a lot of them, running away from forced marriages or bad treatment. “

 

“ How is the queen? Have you met her? “

 

“ Yes, when you decide to officially become a pirate, you have to be approved by the queen, and your crew is noted in a register, then she gives you a boat. In exchange, you have to give her 10% of what you rob for the first 2 years. She’s… she seems fragile, but I know she’s merciless to traitors and pirates who disobey the law. She calls herself Queen Solar. Her bodyguard and most powerful soldier is also a woman, she’s called Hwasa, I’ve heard she defeated the strongest pirates who refused to have a woman as queen. “

 

Hakyeon was really impressed by what he learned. He always knew submissive women, only following their husband’s orders. He thought about Amber; how much she would love to hear about that. She would probably try to find these women… Hakyeon shook his head. What was he thinking? His fragile and dear cousin, with pirates? How wrong was this? However, the more he was learning about these pirates, the less he was finding that idea wrong. He really needed to escape quickly before these stupid thoughts invaded his spirit, washing his brain. Pirates were wrong. They were criminals. They were killing to steal. 

 

_ But why are they doing that _ _?  _ _ How did they become like that?  _

 

He wished he could kill that little voice inside him, asking for more and more information, wanting to know, wanting to understand. He didn’t need to know. He was going to escape and return to his peaceful life soon, after all.

 

_ What does this peaceful life look like? Living in a golden cage, each move watched, each word polished? Is that what you’re so greedy to find? _

 

  1. _Shut up. SHUT UP._



 

_ “ _ SHUT UP. “

 

“ Amber, is everything alright? “

 

Hakyeon opened his eyes, and he realized he was holding his head in his hands, shaking. Taekwoon had his hands on his shoulders, worry visible in his eyes. Hakyeon straightened his body, trying to reassure him with a smile. 

 

“ Yes, I’m sorry, I’m just… tired. Being on that ship for such a long time, without getting a proper bath was exhausting, and this place makes me anxious. Despite what you said… I don’t like… being surrounded by so many pirates… “

 

He wasn’t really lying. The pirates around them were eyeing him, no, eyeing  _ lady Amber  _ with curiosity and hunger. He really didn’t want to stay there longer. Taekwoon seemed to understand and gently took his hand to lead him to a quiet and deserted street.

 

“ I will bring you somewhere more relaxing, don’t worry. “

 

The small street led them outside town, toward the mountain. Hakyeon didn’t dare say anything. He was growing more and more tired as they were walking, his feet and legs hurting. He wasn’t used to walking for such a long time and finally, his legs gave up under him. He fell down, his hand dropping Taekwoon’s. He looked at him, apologetic, as he crouched next to him.

 

“ Are you alright? “

 

“ Yes, I’m just… “

 

“ It’s okay, I’ll carry you. Can I…? “

 

He extended his hand, hesitating. Hakyeon blushed and shyly nodded. Just for a moment. He placed an arm under his knees and another one under his back, gentle, carrying him in bridal style. Hakyeon wanted to die from embarrassment, it was ridiculous. He tried his best not to focus on the pirate’s scent( which was strangely floral for a pirate who wasn’t supposed to have washed since days. That was almost annoying, what was his secret?) , nor his heavy breath above his head. Just focus on your poor legs, and the landscape. He suddenly had a little laugh, making the pirate stop. 

 

“ What’s wrong? “

 

Hakyeon shook his head, still laughing. 

 

“ It’s nothing. It’s just… It’s different from the first time you carried me. You’re much gentler. “

 

This time, it was Taekwoon’s turn to look embarrassed. He raised his head, starting to walk again. He chose to ignore what he said. Hakyeon smiled, feeling relaxed, his head resting on the pirate’s chest. He wanted, just for a moment, to forget that Taekwoon was a criminal and he was a fraud. If he knew his true identity, he wouldn’t carry him. Hakyeon wouldn’t be even alive. 

 

Finally, Taekwoon stopped, putting Hakyeon down. He looked around him and was left dumbfounded. Taekwoon had brought him on a cliff overseeing the sea. They were on a wildflower field, the sea wind messing their hair up. Hakyeon turned his head toward Taekwoon with a wide smile.

 

“ Taekwoon, it’s beautiful! Do you come here often? “

 

His cheeks flushed and he scratched his neck. Hakyeon already noticed that it was a habit of him when he was embarrassed.

 

“ Yeah… I come here every time we make a stop. I like coming here when the others are busy, it’s quiet. And the view is nice. “

 

He walked to a spot of grass under a big tree and sat, apparently waiting for him to do the same. Hesitantly, Hakyeon folded his dress under him before sitting, a little bit awkward. He felt like he was being introduced Taekwoon’s secret garden. He felt out of place. After all, he was nothing but imposter. He tried his best to  ignore his guilty feeling. 

 

“ It’s nice. I like it. Is it okay if we stay here for a while? “

 

Taekwoon nodded and let his head rest against the tree trunk. 

 

“ Of course. We still have plenty of time before sunset. “

 

They stayed quiet for a moment, both enjoying the scenery. Eventually, the curiosity in Hakyeon grew bigger and he wasn’t able to contain it. He had to ask. He took a big breath, hoping he won’t make him mad. 

 

“ Excuse me but… I was wondering… What is your story? You, and all the other? Why did you become pirates? Who… Who did that to you…? “

 

He was caressing his cheek with the burn scar, quickly retracting his hand when he realized what he was doing.

 

They looked at each other’s eyes for a moment, only a few seconds, but they were intense seconds. During that moment; Hakyeon forgot everything, who he was, who Taekwoon was. When Taekwoon averted his eyes, Hakyeon came back to reality, and thought he had made the pirate upset, but he started talking again with his soft and delicate voice.

 

“ Do you really want to hear? It’s a long story, and not a really happy one. “

 

Hakyeon nodded and Taekwoon sighed, closing his eyes. 

 

“ Alright. Don’t interrupt me, I hate that. In the beginning, it was only Wonshik and me. We were both slaves since we were born. We don’t remember our parents, they were taken from us early. I always took care of Wonshik, he’s like a brother to me. I decided that I needed to save him from this hell the first time he was beaten. He was only 7 years old and I was 9. I was beaten too, but if it was only me I didn’t care, as long as he was safe. But I couldn’t bear him being hurt. I waited one year, I needed to be strong, to be prepared. During this time, I tried my best to protect Wonshik. When I was 10, I planned everything to make him escape. I told him I was going with him, but I knew it was impossible. I succeeded, he ran away but they caught me. As a punishment, they burned a part of my face. That was the price of Wonshik’s life. “

 

Hakyeon knew he shouldn’t interrupt, but he noticed Taekwoon’s hands shaking. Slowly, he caressed the back of his hand before holding it. 

 

“ Who? Who was it? “

 

Taekwoon looked at him, fear in his eye.

 

“ I don’t know his name. I don’t remember. I just know it was a nobleman. “

 

“ It’s okay. You don’t have to remember. “

 

Hakyeon felt a shiver running down his spine. That explained why they were so hateful towards aristocrats. 

 

“ You don’t have to continue. If you want to stop it’s okay. “ 

 

Taekwoon smiled weakly at him. 

 

“ I told you I’d answer, I’ll continue don’t worry. “

 

He took a deep breath as if he was gathering his strength, before resuming his story. 

 

“ They left me in a cell for days, without food. After weeks, Wonshik came back with the help of another slave who escaped a few months ago, his name was Eunkwang. They were able to get me out of there. I scolded Wonshik, he wasn’t supposed to come back, it was dangerous… but this brat never listens. We lived with Eunkwang and other drifters. There was this man, Seo Inguk. He taught us how to fight. When I was 15, we heard about a physician killed by his own son, who ran away and was wanted. That’s when we found Hongbin. “

 

Hakyeon froze. Hongbin killed his father? 

 

“ We searched for him for days, we don't even know why. Perhaps the idea of a child being lost in this town, alone, probably afraid haunted us. After all, we were also criminals. We finally found him, starving, hiding like a wild beast. When we saw him for the first time… He almost ripped off our fingers with his teeth. He was growling, his long hair hiding a dirty and hollowed face. His appearance was barely human. It  took me hours to make him understand that we didn’t want to harm him. He came with us but didn’t talk. He stayed hidden in a corner for days, sending us suspicious glances but accepting the water and food. Every day, I came to sit in front of him, sometimes without saying anything, sometimes talking about random things; me, Wonshik, our life. Eventually, he came closer to me, day by day, until he held my hand. Starting that day, he didn’t let me go. He came with me everywhere, growling when anyone else approached me, Wonshik being the exception, even if he couldn’t touch him yet. It was getting difficult for us to live with the others, so we parted our ways and decided to live on our own. It was difficult, we had to hide. Everyone in the town knew a kid with a burnt face escaped from the nobleman’s house. The guards knew Wonshik’s face. And we couldn’t let Hongbin go outside by his own. So we decided to leave that cursed town. We stayed in a forest for months. One day, Hongbin talked to us. Until then, we thought he was mute, and didn’t ask him about his past. At first, it was small sentences, but he was becoming more talkative. Eventually, he told us what happened to him. “

  
  


He paused and Hakyeon knew that like Jaehwan, he was hesitating to talk about Hongbin’s past. He didn’t say anything, just waited for him to make a decision. 

 

“ Don’t tell Hongbin I told you all of that, he’s going to be mad. “

 

Hakyeon quietly nodded.

 

“ Hongbin’s father… As I said, he was a physician. A famous one, apparently even the king asked for him. But he used his son as a test subject for his experiments, treating him as nothing but an animal. Hongbin told us he was chained up in a cave all day, only leaving when his father needed him for his experiments. Until it became too much. He took a knife and stabbed him then ran away. That’s why… It’s not easy to earn his trust. We finally left the forest when the winter came. We arrived in a small town, and there, Hongbin who was only talking to us and hated every stranger we met sat in front of a kid. He was young and dirty, too skinny and eaten by the pests. “

 

Taekwoon smiled as if he was living the scene again. 

 

“ Then, Hongbin looked at me with his big eyes, and silently, implored me. He didn’t have to say anything, I understood, but he still asked with his soft voice ‘ can we take him? ‘ as if he was scared I wouldn’t understand. “

 

“ It was Sanghyuk, right? “

 

Taekwoon nodded.

 

“Yes, he was probably around 10 years old. We took him with us, we washed him, fed him. I was 16 years old, so I was able to find small jobs to have food. Hongbin was taking care of Sanghyuk with lots of attention and devotion. We lived together for years, Wonshik and I tried our best to earn money to feed us but when we weren’t there, the two others were always involved in fights with drifters or small robbing .  They had no idea about what was right and wrong, they were like wild animals and it was impossible for us to keep an eye on them, we were always afraid that they might be caught. We traveled from cities to towns to small villages, until one day when I was 18 years old, we met Eunkwang again. He had a whole crew of young teens, all around our ages, and they were pirates. He talked to me about the new queen, about the pirate's laws. I talked about it with the others and we all agreed to see the queen Solar. When you see the queen to become a pirate, she asks if you have a family and warns you that if you have one, they might be in danger. For us, it was an easy test. Then, she tested our abilities to fight. We had plenty of time to train, and living in the streets made us stronger. We passed the second test. Like that, we were able to get a boat and we became pirates under the name of “ dragon’s crew “. “

 

“ What about Jaehwan? “

 

“ I told you not to interrupt me. “

 

Hakyeon blushed and quickly glanced at him, but he didn’t seem mad. Actually, he had a soft smile on his lips. Hakyeon realized it was the first time he saw him smiling.

 

“ You’re pretty. “

 

“ What?? “

 

Hakyeon covered his mouth with his hands, eyes wides. Stupid brain who couldn’t contain his words.

 

“ It’s…I’m sorry, you just… it’s the first time I see you smiling. It suits you. You’re pretty. “

 

He looked at the floor, not wanting to face Taekwoon when he said these stupid words. He felt a hand in his hair, and when he raised his head, Taekwoon was looking at him with a soft expression, the smile still lingering in his lips, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

 

“ ...Thanks, I guess… “

 

Once again, they stayed like that, Taekwoon’s hand still in his hair, watching each other’s face as the world stopped around them. And once again, the enchantment broke. Taekwoon retrieved his hand and cleared his throat before starting to talk again.

 

“ So uh, Jaehwan. He joined us recently actually. Three years ago I think? We had stopped by a town to get some food and water and we heard about a guard who was about to get killed for a murder he committed. Rumors were saying he was innocent, so we rescued him. He came with us and quickly accommodated to the pirate’s life. “

 

Hakyeon was a little bit surprised, he was acting as if they knew each other for years, even with Hongbin. But he wasn’t really surprised, Jaehwan had that kind of easy personality, you have no choice but to become friends with him.

 

“ I see… Thanks for telling me all of this. It must be hard to remember all of that… “

 

Taekwoon again had that smile which made his heart flutter. 

 

“ No, it’s alright. It’s good to remember why we are here today, why we fight. “

 

Hakyeon nodded. He was suddenly understanding a lot of things. He looked toward the sea in front of them and noticed that while they were talking, the sun was setting, throwing an amazing pallet of colors; shades of orange and pink illuminating the sky and reflecting on the sea like a giant mirror. 

 

“ This is beautiful. It’s the first time I see something so breathtaking… “

 

Taekwoon was silent next to him, and when Hakyeon looked at him, he realized he had his eyes on him, an unreadable expression on his face. He tried to ignore it and fixed his attention back to the sunset. Suddenly he felt a wave of tiredness and couldn’t hold back a wide yawn. 

 

“ We should get back to the town… It’s getting late… Just give me a few minutes… “

  
  
  
  


\------------------

  
  
  


Taekwoon looked at the woman asleep on his shoulder. She had a peaceful expression. He didn’t have the heart for waking her up. He felt himself smiling, and remembered the words of Amber. She thought he was pretty like this. From now, he decided that he should smile more. 

 

 Slowly, he took her in his arms, trying not to wake her. She needed rest. while he was heading back to the road, he felt sorry for her. She had to endure a lot of things because of them. 

 

_ No, what are you saying? You don’t have to be sorry. You’re a pirate, it’s your job. And she’s the daughter of a nobleman, the same kind as the ones who burnt your face, the same kind who left  Wonshik, Hongbin, Sanghyuk, Jaehwan and so many of them dying in misery. You can’t show pity. _

 

Despite thinking that with his whole heart, he couldn’t handle himself from gently kissing her forehead. No one would know. It was his secret.

  
  
  
  


\--------

  
  
  
  


Wonshik let out a big sigh, contemplating the roof above his head.

 

“ Is everything alright, shikkie? “

 

He turned his head to see Taemin crawling on his lap with a smirk on his beautiful lips. His naked body sent shivers down Wonshik’s. He had, as always, that malicious smile on his lips, but this time he could see some concern in his eyes. 

 

“ Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry. “

 

“Are you sure? Today, you seemed… a little bit off. As if your mind was somewhere else. “

 

Wonshik propped himself on his elbows, gently stroking Taemin’s cheek.

 

“ I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… “

 

Taemin chuckled softly.

 

“ Why are you apologizing? We’re not dating, Wonshik. You have every right to think about someone else when we’re doing it. I’m just doing my job. I’m just saying… If you’re serious about someone, you should confess to them instead of seeing me. “

 

Wonshik looked at him, pouting with his soft droopy eyes. Really, Taemin thought, it was a shame that no one was dating him. He was absolutely adorable, and more than good in bed. He was amazing.

 

“ Is it Hongbin again? You know you can’t have him. “

 

Wonshik shook his head. 

 

“ It’s not him… I have… I’m not sure. This is still uncertain in my heart. I have deep feelings for Hongbin and I don’t think they will fade away one day, but I don’t think they are the same as before. “

 

He didn’t seem to have to will of telling him who was in his mind. That wasn’t his businesses, but he was worried about Wonshik. He was more than a client. He was a precious friend. He didn’t want him to suffer because of this impossible love.  He sat on the bed, extending his arm to take his kimono. He made sure to take it off before they started, it was his favorite and he didn’t want Wonshik to ruin it. he could act a little bit wild, especially during the times when he was frustrated. 

 

“ The sun has already set, you have to get back to your friends, or they’re going to kick your ass. “

 

He kneeled next to Wonshik, poking his abs. Perfectly defined abs. Really, a waste. He needed to find a lover soon. Suddenly, Wonshik moved and straightened his position until his head rested on Taemin’s chest, his arm around his waist. 

 

“ Just a little bit more, please. Hold me like this a little bit more. “

 

His face was hidden, but at the cracking voice, Taemin knew he wasn’t feeling well, so he didn’t say anything and stroked his back and hair. That poor boy was obviously lacking attention, what the fuck was his crew doing? 

  
  
  
  
  


\------------

  
  


“ Hurry up, we’re late, they are going to ask us questions. “

 

Sanghyuk sighed as he was buttoning up his shirt. Hongbin and him were in a hidden cove known by only them. They discovered that place months ago when they were looking for some intimacy. It was just a small portion of sand surrounded by turquoise water, but it was their portion of paradise. Here, they could love each other as much as they wanted, protected by rocks. Sanghyuk wished they could stay there longer. Perhaps watching the stars together, Hongbin curled in his arms. He always thought that the stars from the earth were different than the sea. 

 

“ Are you kidding me?? You’re still not ready?? The sun is almost down. “

 

Sanghyuk groaned, lacing his boots. 

 

“ Yes mom, I’m coming. “

 

He really loved Hongbin, but he was always so stressed when they were spending time together that somehow they weren’t really enjoying these rare and precious moments. He stood up and placed his hands on his lover’s shoulder, gently massaging him. 

 

“ Hey, relax. Breathe. We aren’t chased, there isn’t any danger, it’s just us being gay there is nothing wrong. Even if the guys find out- “

 

“ They can’t. “

 

Hongbin’s voice was sharp and cold, making Sanghyuk’s grip tighten. 

 

“ Why are you so afraid? Do you really fear Taekwoon’s approbation… Or it is something else? Are you ashamed of showing me off as your lover? Are you afraid of Wonshik’s opinion? Maybe you don’t want to lose his adoration for you, after all? You like having men gravitating around you, don’t you? What am I, after all, one amongst so many. Is there another one? “

 

He knew he crossed a line and deserved the slap. Hongbin stood in front of him for a moment, eyes glassy.

 

“ I hate you. “

 

Then he left, leaving Sanghyuk behind,his cheek burning, who didn’t even have the strength of running after him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two bros picking flowers together but no homo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this chapter that I find kind of boring... don't hesitate to send me your feedback on comments or on twitter/cc !!

  When Wonshik entered the room, he realized two things. First, he was the last one to arrive. Second, there was a weird atmosphere floating around the room. No one was talking, no one even blamed him for being late. He looked around in confusion, hoping someone could explain to him what was wrong. Jaehwan was sitting in a corner of the room, next to the windows, his usual joyful face gone, his eyes lost on the night outside. He decided that he shouldn't disturb him. He turned his head toward Taekwoon, but he was gently stroking Amber's hair while she had her head resting on his lap, eyes closed. She was probably sleeping and he didn't want to wake her up. Then he looked at the two other members, and that's when he realized that the problem was probably coming from them. Hongbin and Sanghyuk were both sitting as far as possible from each other, eyes fixed on the floor, lips pinched, arms crossed on their chests. He could almost see the electricity between them. Did they fight? It was unusual. Since they knew them, they had always stuck together no matter what. He was torn between asking what was wrong and ignoring them. After all, it wasn't his business and if Taekwoon didn't think it necessary to interfere, then he should stay quiet. But... Taekwoon didn't seem to be in his usual state. Why were Amber and him so close anyway? He never behaved like that with them. Was he wrong all this time, was Taekwoon straight after all? That was weird, his gaydar apparently wasn’t functioning.

 

 Wonshik sighed, before deciding to give up. He came to sit next to Jaehwan, placing a hand on his thigh. Jaehwan looked at him, surprised as if he was only now noticing his presence in the room. Wonshik sent him a questioning glance, concern showing in his soft droopy eyes. Jaehwan smiled at him, but Wonshik knew him enough to know it was fake and that he was only pretending to be fine to not worry him. Wonshik considered asking him what was wrong, but he knew that when Jaehwan wasn’t feeling well, he wouldn’t say anything. All he could do was to be there as a support, waiting for him to feel better.

 

 But were they going to spend the night here, sulking and not talking to each other? He was starting to get hungry. He didn’t want to break the heavy silence in the room, but his stomach did it for him, growling like thousands of wolves. He blushed and held his stomach as if it would be enough to suppress the sound. This time, Jaehwan smiled with true joy, chuckling a little. 

 

“ Is it possible that you might be hungry? “

 

 Wonshik nodded, eyes glued to the floor. The others raised their head toward him and Amber started moving. Taekwoon stopped his movements as she was slowly opening her eyes. When she realized the position she was in, she jumped and quickly sat up, as red as a peony. Somehow, Wonshik found her cute.

 

_ Oh shit. What is going on? Since when do I find girls cute ?? _

 

Taekwoon coughed, apparently as embarrassed.

 

_ Yes, dumbass perhaps next time you will think twice before doing something like that. You stupid straight.  _

 

“ Well, now that everyone is here and awake, should we go eat? Apparently, some people here are starving. “

 

Hongbin clapped his hands enthusiastically, a wide smile on his face. 

 

“ What a good idea! That’s amazing, let’s happily fill our stomachs! “

 

_ Way too enthusiastic to be natural. _

 

 Once again, Wonshik acted as if he didn’t notice that something was wrong. Everyone was going out when Jaehwan held his arm. He turned toward him, raising an eyebrow. Jaehwan indicated him Amber by a chin movement. The lady was standing awkwardly behind them, fidgeting with her fingers.

 

“ Don’t you think we should let her have some time alone so she can take a bath peacefully? We can bring her food later. She wouldn’t like eating with other pirates anyway. “

 

He talked in a whisper but Taekwoon, who was just next to them, nodded. 

 

“ You’re right Jaehwan. But… We didn’t have the time to buy her some new clothes… she can’t continue to wear that disgusting dress and she refuses to wear men’s clothes. “

 

Jaehwan smirked, throwing him a piece of clothing. 

 

“ You’re lucky, I bought that on my way back. Give it to her, we’re waiting for you in the dining room. “

 

They left Taekwoon there, the dress in his arms and his face red.

  
  
  
  


\--------

  
  


 Hakyeon looked at Taekwoon, who was the only one left, apparently as embarrassed as him. They stood there awkwardly, not saying anything, focused on their feet. Hakyeon cleared his throat, deciding to take the first step.

 

“ Huh… I’m sorry… For falling asleep on your lap, earlier… I’m aware that I crossed a line, I apologize for making you uncomfortable… “

 

Taekwoon lifted his head a little but still refused to meet his eyes, scratching his neck in his usual nervous habit. 

 

“ No… Don’t apologize, it’s okay, I didn’t mind at all… I mean, that can happen.... “

 

He was cute, blushing like a teenager. He took a step forward, visibly determined to end his suffering and handed him the dress he was holding.

 

“ Anyway, take this. And take a bath. “

 

Hakyeon smirked, deciding to torment him a little bit more.

 

“ What, do I smell THAT bad that you don’t even want me to eat with you? “

 

Taekwoon blushed even more, if that was possible. Hakyeon wondered a moment if he was going to explode. 

 

“No, no! That’s not it! You don’t smell bad! I mean, I don’t care how you smell! But you should take a moment for yourself when you can! “

 

Hakyeon smiled softly, taking the dress carefully. 

 

“ Thanks; I’ll enjoy my time… alone… “

 

“ Alright then, see you later. We will be back in an hour or two, so take your time. We will bring you some food. “

 

 With these words, he disappeared as fast as he could, slamming the door behind him. Hakyeon chuckled before heading to the bathroom of their bedroom. He really shouldn’t think that, but it was fun to tease him, especially when he got all shy like that.

 

 He made sure that the door was locked, just in case. Better safe than sorry. He carefully put the dress aside, making sure it wouldn’t get wet because of the water. He filled the bathtub ( a big bucket ) with boiling water. It took some time, the bucket was pretty big, but he wanted to immerse his whole body in the water. Once it was done, he took off his dress, slowly, as if he was afraid to discover his own body under it. He took a few minutes to examine his body in the mirror, taking the time necessary to remember who he was. Sometimes, he was so deep into his role that he was starting to forget that he wasn’t lady Amber. He was only Cha Hakyeon, the Liu’s nephew, orphan, ugly, but rich. At least he was rich.

 Finally, he sank in the warm water. He closed his eyes, almost moaning at the feeling of his body relaxing. He felt like it’s been an eternity since he last took a bath. How could the pirates endure that? It was inhuman. 

 

 He didn’t know how long he stayed there, his mind empty, his body and soul freed. He completely lost track of time. That’s why when he heard someone knocking to his door, he jumped, splashing water everywhere. 

 

“ Yes, what? “

 

“ Amber? Is everything alright? Why does your voice sound weird? “

 

Hakyeon froze, mentally cursing himself. He almost forgot that he was still Lady Amber. He took a few seconds to gather himself, before talking again.

 

“ Yes, I’m sorry,  __ I kind of fell asleep in my bath and you surprised me, I’m getting dressed, I’m coming “

 

It wasn’t even a lie.

 

“ Huh okay, don’t worry we were just worried ‘cause you’ve been in there for a long time. “

 

 He heard the footstep moving away and let out a big sigh. He stood up, shivering. Why  didn’t he realize sooner that the water had gotten cold? For how long? He quickly dried his body then proceeded to put on the dress. He spent perhaps 30 minutes figuring how to put it on properly. Last time, it was Amber who did it, why was it so difficult? 

 

 After fighting with the piece of cloth, he finally won the battle. He looked at the reflection in the mirror, proud of himself. He tied his hair in a braid and put on his earrings and necklace. The trickery was still there. He looked at the dress, spinning. It wasn’t as luxurious as the previous one, but it was still pretty. The fabric was white, with blue flowers stitched on the sleeves and chest, a waistband of the same color completing the outfit. Satisfied with the result, he finally left the bathroom.

 

 He found the rest of the crew in the room; Taekwoon and Hongbin sitting in the bed and talking, Wonshik in another bed already snoring, Jaehwan sitting next to the windows. Only Sanghyuk was missing. When he closed the door behind him, they all lifted their heads -except Wonshik of course- and Jaehwan smiled before coming closer to her. He took a step back, confused. 

 

“ Wow, that dress suits you really well, and you look better after melting for hours in that bath. Look at her, Taek, isn’t she pretty? “

 

 Taekwoon blushed (he was blushing a lot, lately, noticed Hakyeon) and nodded. 

 

“ Yes, really pretty. “

 

This time, it was Hakyeon’s turn to blush. He played with the end of his hair, biting his lips. 

 

“ R-Really? You find me pretty? “

 

“ Of course, you’re the prettiest lady we ever kidnapped! ‘’

 

Jaehwan patted his shoulder, laughing.

 

_ Of course dumbass. They find lady Amber pretty. Not you.  _

 

Hakyeon glared at him.

 

“ Did you kidnap many girls? “

 

Jaehwan kept laughing with his high pitched laugh, making Wonshik groan in his sleep. 

 

“ Well, to be honest, you’re our first try. I hope you will bring us luck! “

 

Hakyeon rolled his eyes to the sky. 

 

“ Where is Sanghyuk? I thought Taekwoon said that everyone should come back before the night? Is everything alright? “

  
  


Until then, Hongbin had been watching the scenery with an absent smile, but at the mention of his name, his face darkened. 

 

“ That doesn’t matter. Anyway, you must be hungry. We brought you some food, eat while you can have some meat and fresh vegetables. “

 

 Hakyeon didn’t need to be told twice, he quickly sat to grab the bowl of food. It was good to eat something else than fish, even if the dishes were cold.

 When he finished, Jaehwan had crawled in Wonshik’s bed and curled next to him, not waking him up, and Taekwoon was placing a mat next to them. 

 

“ We’re… Are we all going to sleep in the same room? “

 

 Hongbin took the empty bowl and plate and put it on a table, before answering with a tired voice. 

 

“ We usually rent one room, it’s cheaper and there aren’t any other rooms available anyway. Sorry, you’ll have to deal with us tonight. You can have the other bed, the rest of us can sleep on mats. “

 

 Hakyeon nodded, watching Hongbin and Taekwoon putting some blankets and pillows on the floor. Apparently, they weren’t going to wait for Sanghyuk to sleep, they all looked exhausted. Taekwoon finally blew out the candles when they were all ready to sleep. Soon, Hakyeon could hear the regular breathing of the three other pirates, and still the loud snoring of Wonshik. How could he sleep with that? He thought about running away for a second. The door probably wasn’t locked if Sanghyuk was still outside, and they were deeply asleep. But what if he bumped into Sanghyuk? He had grown closer to the other, but Sanghyuk still seemed distant. He was intimidating, despite being younger. Hayeon shivered at the idea of being caught by the giant. No doubt that he would crush him into dust. Finally, he spent so much time hesitating that when he heard the door opening, he was still hiding under his covers. He heard the sound of the door being locked, condemning him. Sanghyuk tried to tiptoe to reach his bed, but he bumped into several pieces of furniture, his footsteps heavy and clumsy. Was he alright? What happened to him? For a moment, he thought the others would wake up, but they showed no signs of interrupting their snoring. Only Hongbin’s whisper broke the silence when he finally reached his destination. 

 

“ Sanghyuk? Where were you? Why are you coming back so late? Are you… are you drunk?? What the fuck, Sanghyuk? “

 

 He heard Sanghyuk chuckling.

 

“ Yeah, huh, S-Sorry… “

 

“ Sorry for what, for being drunk? Do you think I’m your fucking mom? “

 

“ No… Sorry for … Earlier… I know I fucked up. I didn’t mean to tell you that, I’m really sorry and- ”

 

Hongbin’s voice seemed to soften.

 

“ We will talk about that tomorrow when you are sober, alright? You’re going to wake up the others. Just sleep. “

 

“ I- “

 

“ I know, Sanghyuk, me too. Sleep now . “

 

 He didn’t hear the answer, only bodies moving, and the silence. Hakyeon blushed, understanding he accidentally eavesdropped an intimate conversation. What was their relationship? They seemed to be really close, closer than the rest of the crew. But they were straight, Jaehwan told him they were straight. So it couldn’t be that. They just seemed to be really good friends. Finally, he fell asleep, his head full of worries about his escape plan. 

 

 When he opened his eyes, the others were just waking up. The sun was already up, but probably not for long. He glanced at the pirates, noticing that Taekwoon and Wonshik were still asleep. The captain was curled up in his blanket like a kitten. Wonshik was still loudly snoring, Jaehwan sat at the end of the bed, looking at him with a strange expression, his eyes half closed as if he was fighting to stay awake. Sanghyuk and Hongbin were already folding their covers and mats. Hakyeon remembered their conversation from the night before. Sanghyuk didn’t show any signs of being drunk, and neither of them were looking at each other. Had he imagined all of that? 

 Hongbin noticed that he was awake and smiled at him. 

 

“ Did you sleep well, despite Wonshik’s snoring? “

 

Hakyeon nodded, deciding not to mention what he heard -or dreamed-. 

 

“ You can wash your face, don’t take too long, we have a lot to do today. “

 

 Hakyeon followed his advice, and when he came back the others were awake and stretching their long legs. Hakyeon blushed at the sight of the shirtless men and quickly averted his eyes. Jaehwan noticed it and laughed. 

 

“ Guys, there is a lady with us, please show some decency. “

 

Wonshik simply shrugged before resuming his stretching but Taekwoon immediately put on a shirt.

 

 They had a simple breakfast -some bread and eggs- and Taekwoon gathered them to give his instructions. 

 

“ Alright, Jaehwan you’re going to buy the food. Wonshik and Sanghyuk, you’re coming with me to fill the water barrels and other heavy packages. Hongbin, you can go to collect your plants and please take Amber with you. “

 

 This time, it wasn’t a question, it was an order and Hongbin had no choice but to accept. He groaned but didn’t argue. Hakyeon wished he could go with Jaehwan, it would have been easier to escape his company. But perhaps this could also work. It was his last chance; he didn’t have a choice. Hongbin was alone and Hakyeon never saw him fighting or training with the others, perhaps it would be even easier than expected. 

 

 They parted their ways. Hakyeon silently followed Hongbin, waiting for the perfect timing to escape. That was hard because Hongbin stuck close to him. They finally reached a small forest and Hongbin crouched on the floor, obviously looking for some specific plants. At first, Hakyeon stood there awkwardly but he quickly became impatient. He didn’t like staying inactive like that. 

 

“ Can I… Can I help you? “

 

Hongbin looked at him, surprised. 

 

“ You want to help me? But you’re going to dirty your dress and hands… “

 

“ I don’t mind, I’ll be careful. Please just show me which plants I have to find. “

 

Hongbin finally showed him the flowers he already collected. They were white, with a thick shaft. 

 

“ It’s called Angelica Archangelica, or angel’s herbs. “

 

Hakyeon smiled before carefully crouching to the ground. 

 

“ That’s a pretty name. What is it for? “

 

“ They are called like that because they have many virtues, almost magical. They can be used to help digestion or against anxiety or insomnia. I always make some tea for Taekwoon with it. “

 

“ He doesn’t sleep? “

 

“ No, that dumbass is always too anxious and overthinking. Be careful, you have to take the root with it. “

 

 Hakyeon looked at Hongbin’s movements to rip out the plant without damaging it and tried his best to imitate him. They continued like this for a moment, ripping out the plants and putting them in a small bag while Hongbin talked about its properties. It was amusing how passionate he was about it. Once Hongbin estimated that there was enough of Angelica, he brought Hakyeon to another spot. This time, he showed him beautiful pink flowers. 

 

“ Waa, they are so pretty!! What do they heal? What are they called? “

 

Hongbin had a mischievous laugh. 

 

“ They don’t heal. They kill. “

 

Hakyeon stopped his hand as he was about to touch one of the flowers. 

 

“ What?? “

 

Hongbin carefully picked a flower with a piece of cloth. 

 

“ They are called Azalea. If you extract the sap, you obtain a poison that could cause hallucinations and diarrhea. “

 

“ Why the fuck would you collect these plants? “

 

“ Please use your brain.  We’re not nice doctors, remember? “

 

“ Oh yes, right. Bloody pirates that kill innocent people. “

 

Hongbin didn’t answer, too focused on his task. 

 

“ I’m done with these. Did you touch them? “

 

Hakyeon looked suspiciously at his hands. 

 

“ I don’t know… Perhaps briefly… “

 

Hongbin took his wrist, soaking another piece of cloth with water before gently rubbing his hands. 

 

“ Better safe than sorry. We don’t want to lose the ransom. From now, don’t touch plants until I tell you what it is. “

 

 Hakyeon silently nodded, a little bit ashamed as if he was scolded. That wasn’t his fault after all, he should have told him sooner that it was poisonous. Hongbin brought him to another place in the forest. This time, in front of them, it was bushes with blackberries. They looked tasty but he remembered Hongbin’s words and didn’t touch them. 

 

“ What are these? “

 

“ Attropa Belladona, or Evil’s cherries. “

 

Hakyeon shivered. Looks like it was a good decision not to touch them. 

 

“ Are they poison? “

 

“ The berries are, a really strong one. If you know how to properly use the leaves, you can have a good cure to many poisons. “

 

 Hakyeon was impressed by Hongbin’s knowledge. Then he remembered who his father was and what happened to him. Suddenly, being alone with that guy didn’t seem like a good plan. He shivered, hugging himself with his arms, as if it could protect him, taking a few steps back. Hongbin looked at him with confusion. 

 

“ Is everything alright? “

 

Hakyeon wanted to answer that he was fine, but he couldn’t get Taekwoon’s words out of his mind. 

 

_ He killed his own father when he was just 10 years old. _

 

Hongbin reached a hand toward him, but he stopped when he saw the look on his face. 

 

“ Are you.... afraid? Why? I thought you were getting accustomed… “

 

His tone was as cold as their first encounter. 

 

“ By any chance… did Taekwoon talk to you… about me? “

 

Hakyeon wished he could pretend to ignore everything, but Hongbin immediately had his answer when Hakyeon averted his gaze to look at the floor. 

 

“ I see… So you know everything about me, right? “

 

 Hakyeon lifted his head when he heard Hongbin’s voice changing. There was something else other than the ice and the thorns. Bitterness, and perhaps a sprinkle of sadness. He expected him to be mad, disappointed, perhaps to even poison him, but he didn’t expect that reaction at all, he was taken aback and didn’t know how to react.

 

“ Please don’t blame Taekwoon, it was me who asked. I was… curious… I wanted to understand. “

 

“ Understand what? Was your curiosity satisfied? Are you happy to find out that you’re facing a monster? “

 

 A few weeks ago, Hakyeon would have agreed with that statement. But now, after spending so much time with him, his judgment became blurry. He remembered the silent and peaceful morning spent washing the dishes, the patience he showed to teach him how to do the laundry or to clean. His smile when it was just the two of them carried away by their conversation. Not only that: the way he acted around Sanghyuk; softly, carefully, relaxed when they would stand next to each other. How he would secretly care about Taekwoon and his health, his insomnia. 

 He took a deep breath before unfolding his arms and gently took Hongbin hand in his. Hongbin first reflex was to remove his hand quickly, but Hakyeon held him firmly, finally meeting his eyes. 

 

“ Your father… You killed him because he was hurting you, right? “

 

 Hongbin had a rictus.

 

“ It’s a euphemism. He was treating me worse than an animal. He was always testing new drugs or poisons on me. Never enough to kill me, of course. Just enough to see their effect on the human’s body. “

 

 Hakyeon started stroking the back of his hand with his thumb, encouraging him.

 

“ Do you know why he was doing that? “

 

 Hongbin shook his head. 

 

“ No. I think that’s because his wife -my mother- died when she gave birth to me. He hated me because I took everything he loved from him. “

 

“ Hongbin, it wasn’t your fault. Nature can be cruel, sometimes. “

 

“ Really? “

 

 He sounded like a kid, at the verge of crying, his big eyes full of incomprehension and pain. 

 

“ Yes. I don’t think you’re a monster. See, these plants, Balledona something, They can kill, but if you know them enough, you discover they can heal. I think you’re like them. “

 

“ But… I killed my father, Amber. And I continue to kill people. I barely know what’s right and what’s wrong. If Taekwoon wasn’t there… “

 

“ I think I’m beginning to understand. “

 

“ What? “

 

“ You’re just trying to survive in this world, after all. “

 

 This time, Hakyeon was mostly talking about himself. After all, he was lying to them since the first day they met because he was too scared to die. 

 

“ You just wanted to live. Like the others. “

 

 This time, one tear rolled on his cheek. Hakyeon couldn’t take it anymore, he closed the space between them and hugged him tightly. Hongbin didn’t say anything but held him like an anchor, quietly crying. They stayed like that for a moment, before Hakyeon made Hongbin sit on the grass. 

 

‘’ We didn’t pay that dress for you to ruin it, it’s going to be dirty. “

 

 Hakyeon chuckled, a little bit glad that his sassiness was back despite the obvious glossy grooves on his face. They sat next to each other in silence before Hongbin started talking again.

 

“ You know… It’s the first time I cry. I mean, with someone else than Sanghyuk. I don’t know, you just put the right words on what I felt. I love the guys, but they aren’t really into emotional speeches. I know they care about me; they show it with gestures and with their patience towards my horrible temper. We never really talked about my past, about what my father did to me, about what I did to him. I always thought it as better to bury that inside of me, to forget it. But I was wrong, I’ll never be able to forget. Instead, it was a weight in my heart, making me abrasive and eating me up from the inside, devouring me. You made me realize that I should face it and accept it, instead of running away. “

 

 Hakyeon smiled at him, still holding his hand. 

 

“ I’m glad to be useful. I don’t think I did that much. I just… I brought another point of view. Sometimes that’s all we need. All of you made me change my perception of this world. I realized that outside of my golden prison, everything isn’t like what I always learned. There aren’t bad or good people: there are only people trying to survive and making bad choices. I still struggle with the concept of killing people and everything… But because I don’t accept it doesn’t mean I don’t understand it. Also… You said that Sanghyuk was the only one with who you cried? You two seem really close. Whenever you don’t feel good, you can talk to him about this. Close friends do that, usually. Talking about their feelings. “

 

Hongbin scrunched his nose. 

 

“ Yeah… close friends… “

 

“ What’s wrong? Did you two fight? You were weird, last night and this morning. “

 

“ Yes… Over something stupid. I just… We couldn’t understand each other and he said… Bad things to me. I was really upset and don’t know if I can forgive him. Well, that’s what I thought… But yesterday, when he didn’t come back, I was really worried. My heart hurt, just thinking about what could happen to him. He came back, late in the night, completely drunk and kept apologizing… “

 

 So it wasn’t a dream…

 

“ Do you want to forgive him? “

 

“ I don’t know… I know what he said was out of anger and because he was hurt. It’s also my fault… “

 

“ I think you two should just talk. Open yourself about your feelings. But you know, you’re also right to be mad about being insulted. Just because you love him doesn’t mean he has the right to talk to you badly. “

 

 Hongbin blushed and shook his head. We’re just friends, I only like him as a friend! “

 

“ Yes, of course, that’s what I’m saying. Friendships are complicated sometimes, too… “

 

 They continued talking for the rest of the day, resuming to collect their plants, until the light of the day started to fade.

 

“ We have enough. We can go back to the boat. “

 

 Hakyeon nodded, then realized… He hadn’t escaped. Was it too late? Did he even want to escape? After that talk, he completely forgot that they were dangerous pirates. He thought about Taekwoon. How sad and disappointed he would be if he escaped. He didn’t want to leave. To go where? He wasn’t even sure. The island were full of unknown pirates. At least on the ship was  _ his _ pirates. He was getting to know them and they weren’t going to hurt him. They were always kind to him. Yeah, thinking about it, it was really a stupid idea to escape. All he had to do was to wait for his uncle to bring the ransom.

 

“ You okay? “

 

 Hakyeon jumped as if Hongbin could have read his mind. 

 

“ Yeah, don’t worry! “

 

“ You looked lost in your own thoughts… Are you sure that everything is alright? “

 

“ Yeah I was just… Do you think it’s possible to take a last quick bath before coming back in the ship? “

 

Hongbin shrugged. 

 

“ Of course, we can ask Taekwoon but I don’t see why he would say no. We aren’t really in a hurry. “

 

 They reached the port, where the rest of the crew were waiting. Taekwoon easily agreed, at the condition that they would be back in 30 minutes. When they were about to leave, Hongbin turned toward Sanghyuk. 

 

“ Sanghyuk… You come with us. “

 

“ Me?? But why?? Do you need two men to look after a fragile woman? “

 

 Hakyeon rolled his eyes to the sky. Even he understood that it was because Hongbin wanted to have a talk with him far from the other. That kid wasn’t really smart. Hongbin hissed between his teeth:

 

“ We need to talk. Come with me or I use these pretty flowers we just brought for your next meal which might be your last one. “

 

 Sanghyuk widened his eyes and immediately followed them. 

 

 Once he was left alone in the bathroom, Hakyeon quickly took his dress off. He didn’t lock the door; after all, it was going to be fast. When he put the dress aside, he noticed several dirty spots due to their previous activities. He felt a little bit bad; after all, Jaehwan bought it especially for him and looked very proud of his choice. He tried his best to scrub the stains, carefully, as Hongbin taught him. He probably lost too much time doing that task. When he went into the water bucket, it was almost cold. He washed his face and body as fast as possible, still immersed in his thoughts about Hongbin, Taekwoon, and the rest of the crew. That’s probably why he didn’t hear the knocks nor the door opening, as he was going out of the bucket to grab a towel.

 

“ Amber is everything alright, you’ve been in there for an hour and you’re not answering, what- “

 

Hakyeon froze, so did Hongbin in front of him.  His eyes went over his body. His naked body. He quickly grasped the towel and tied it around his waist. 

 

“ Hongbin, I can explain- “

“ Who the fuck are you. “

 

 His expression was dark, his eyes glued on him, trying to figure out what was happening. Hakyeon was going to die. This time, he didn’t have a choice. It was over. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a small bucket. Before Hongbin could react, he took it and threw it in his direction. Taking advantage on the surprise he caused, he ran toward the exit, but Hongbin was faster and kicked his legs. He fell on the ground and avoided another kick destined to his stomach. He stood up and threw a fist at Hongbin face. Somehow, it touched his target. Hakyeon felt a stinging pain in his joints and cursed. Hongbin, in front of him, was stumbling, holding his face. Hakyeon didn’t let him gather his bearing and struck another punch, this time in his stomach. Hongbin’s legs gave up under him and he crouched, screaming in pain. Hakyeon almost felt sorry, but he had to survive. Not that close, not after pretending to be someone else all this time. Just because he took too much time washing. Really, that was stupid. Perhaps that was the reason pirates didn’t wash. He didn’t lose more time and ran to exit that trap. Once he was be outside, he would hide wherever he could in the streets, he could even cut his hair, no one would look for a young man in this town, he will escape, he will survive, he will-

 

_ crash _

 

He heard something breaking and at the same time, unbearable pain in his head. It was the last thing he felt before everything around him started spinning and finally, disappeared in the darkness.

  
  


  
  



	7. truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakyeon is being bratty and Taekwoon is very much annoyed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again thanks to the amazing Sermin for her hard work as my beta. Thanks to everyone for enjoying that fic and leaving kudos, that really means a lot to me and I didn't expect that much attention!!! if you want to yell at me you know where to find me ( if you don't : @Hakyeons_bitch on twitter ). Enjoy that chapter! Next one will be coming soon

 Hakyeon woke up when he felt cold water hitting him like a slap. He painfully opened his eyes, the sting on his head reminding him of what happened. His vision was blurry and it took him a little time to be able to see around him. He rolled over to his side, groaning in pain. He tried to get up but when he wanted to move his arms, he realized they were tied behind his back. He rose his head to meet eyes. In front of him, Taekwoon was sitting in a chair, one arm resting on the armrest and another under his chin, legs crossed. His face clearly showed anger and disappointment. Hakyeon’s heart clenched. Beside him was Wonshik, arms resting behind his back. He didn’t seem angry at all, almost… relieved. That was weird. There was also Jaehwan, biting his lower lips and arms crossed on his chest, leaning against a wall. Sanghyuk was not far, sending him a murderous glare. It was already surprising that he was still alive. He was wondering where Hongbin was when he felt a hand yanking his hair, making him let out a scream of pain. He didn’t need to turn his head to know it was Hongbin. He made him sit on his knees in front of Taekwon, still pulling him by the hair. Hakyeon noted with relief that they put a shirt on him, too big for him but at least it was hiding his intimate parts. Hongbin forced him to look at Taekwoon, who finally talked with a cold voice.

 

“ You’re not Lady Amber. “

 

Hakyeon smirked. After all, he had nothing more to lose.

 

“ No, really? You got amazing eyes. “

 

Hongbin kneeded him in the back, making him yelp. 

 

“ Shut up, asshole. No one gave you the right to talk. ‘’

 

“ Actually, no one told me not to say anything. “

 

Taekwoon took a deep breath and pinched his nose with his fingers as if he was trying to contain his anger, before turning his attention back to him. 

 

“ Who are you? “

 

“ Can I talk now? Because I don’t really want another knee, my back is gonna ache I’m sensitive. “

 

He felt Hongbin’s face coming closer to his ear.

 

“ Don’t worry, once your corpse is floating in the sea you won’t feel anything. “

 

Hakyeon shivered. Okay perhaps he should be more careful.

 

“ Alright. I’m not Lady amber. I’m her cousin. Her parents raised me so if you want the ransom you better keep me alive. “

Taekwoon took a moment to think about that. 

 

“ How can prove to me that you’re telling the truth? Why did you pretend to be Lady Amber in the first place if you have the same value? “

 

Hakyeon lowered his eyes. 

 

“ I’m… I thought you were going to kill us. When I heard the attack, I hid my cousin in a closet thinking I could distract you enough not to look inside. When you took me, I thought you would kill me if you found out I lied and was a man. I just… just wanted to live. “

 

Suddenly, he could feel the hand in his hair loosening, and finally, completely leave. Wonshik, who was silent until then, started to talk. 

 

“ You could have told us sooner… We wouldn’t hurt you, you got to know us… “

 

Hakyeon glared at him, gritting his teeth. 

 

“ And how was I supposed to know? My parents were killed by pirates. You killed every man on my boat. And judging by the others, they rather want me dead right now. Not really encouraging if you want my opinion. “

 

Hongbin whispered again, but this time it wasn’t in his killer tone. It was almost soft, the others probably didn’t even hear it.

 

“ I don’t want you dead. “

 

Hakyeon was surprised. A few minutes ago, he wanted his body to be eaten by crabs and fishes. What made him change his mind? There was a silence in the room. Everyone seemed to think about what he said. 

 

“ We still don’t have proof that you’re not trying to trick us again. “

 

Hakyeon sighed. 

 

“ If killing me is going to make you feel better, then go for it. “

 

“ I thought you wanted to live? “

 

It was Hongbin, his voice still low.

 

“ I think I fought enough. I’m tired of this shit. “

 

“ We should definitely kill you. You’ve lied to us since the beginning. We even trusted you... You were laughing at us, right? How blind we were. I knew no women could be so ugly-“

 

His words hit Hakyeon right in the heart, making it almost stop. Was he also lying, then? He told him he was pretty. 

 

“ Taekwoon! “

 

Wonshik had interrupted him, looking at him harshly. 

 

“ You don’t have to be so rude. We can’t know if he’s telling the truth, but if we kill him and it turns out he was right, we won’t have the ransom. “

 

“ Please… Don’t kill him… “

 

Jaehwan had talked in a small voice from the corner where he was standing. Wonshik walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“ Don’t worry. We won’t kill him, alright? Alright, Taekwoon? “

 

He emphasized those last words while looking at their captain, who glared at all of them before standing up. He came in front of Hakyeon and raised his hand and Hakyeon closed his eyes, but the slap never came. When he opened his eyes again, Taekwoon lowered his hand, fist and jaw clenched. 

 

“ As you wish. But look after him. I don’t want to see him near me. I don’t want to see his face in front of me anymore. Take him away from me now. And all of you, get lost. “

 

Hongbin gently took him by the elbow, quickly leaving the room. Once they were outside, he undid the ropes that were tying his wrists. Hakyeon turned to thank him, but he took his hand and led him toward his room. 

 

“ We need to take care of this wound, or you’re going to die anyway. “

 

“ What wou- oh. “

 

He touched his forehead and felt blood coming from the top of his scalp. 

 

“ Sanghyuk went a little bit too hard. “

 

“ Well… I can’t really blame him… “

 

He sat him on the same chair from their first encounter. Hongbin wetted a cloth to clean his face, before mixing several herbs and applying it on his wound. 

 

“ It’s not poison, right? “

 

He was half joking, half serious. With that man, you could never know. Hongbin chuckled.

 

“ No, don’t worry. We said we would keep you alive. “

 

“ Hongbin… Why… Why did you change your mind? You looked like you’d rather kill me painfully than gently rub my skull with medicinal plants, just a few minutes ago. “

 

Hongbin laughed again. 

 

“ What you said… You said you wanted to live. How could I blame you? None of us should blame you. You’re not different from us, after all. To be honest, I admire you for hiding your true identity and gender for such a long time, pretending that everything was fine. “

 

“ Hey I’m not like you! I didn’t kill anyone! “

 

“ Not yet. “

 

Hakyeon couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Perhaps he didn’t want to ask. For now, he was kind of relieved that Hongbin didn’t seem to be mad at him.  

 

“ Does that mean… We’re still friends? “

 

Hongbin stopped his work to step back and look at him with confusion. 

 

“ Friends? Were we friends? I thought you were a hostage. “

 

Hakyeon blushed and quickly looked at the floor. He was stupid. Why did he think he could be friends with a pirate.

 

“ I’m- I’m sorry, I talked too soon, if you don’t want us to be friends that’s alright I’m just not used to people and I thought- “

 

“ Well, I’d like to be your friend. “

 

Hakyeon looked at him, surprised. 

 

“ Really?? “

 

Hongbin smiled at him, his dimples showing. 

 

“ What, is it that surprising that a pirate wants to have friends? “

 

Hakyeon shook his head. 

 

“ No, it’s fine! “

 

They were interrupted by Sanghyuk who entered the room, followed by Wonshik. Hakyeon tensed up in his chair, remembering that earlier Sanghyuk hadn’t really been giving loving eyes to him. Sanghyuk noticed that he wasn’t feeling comfortable and raised an eyebrow. 

 

“ Relax. I’m not going to throw you to the sharks, even if I’d love to. If Hongbin decided to trust you and even be your  _ friend _ then I’ll trust you too. I trust his judgment more than you, actually. “

 

Hakyeon relaxed and looked at Wonshik who was coming closer to him while Hongbin finished bandaging his head. 

 

“ Are you alright? Sanghyuk has lots of strength… “

 

The pirate behind him looked outraged. 

 

“ What? You can’t blame me, he hit my H- he hit Hongbin! “

 

_ Am I dreaming? Was he about to say my Hongbin? _

 

Hongbin rolled his eyes to the sky.

 

“ I’m not made of sugar, Sanghyuk. I’m fine, and he thought I was about to kill him. Well, perhaps he wasn’t entirely wrong. But to my defense, I first thought a pervert intruded. Alright, I finished, be careful and don’t overwork yourself Amb- I mean- Wait, what’s your name? “

 

“ Hakyeon. My name is Cha Hakyeon. “

 

Wonshik smiled, bowing to him.

 

“ Nice to meet you, Hakyeon. “

 

Sanghyuk inclined his head just a little, arms crossed. He probably needed time to process what happened. Wonshik rose his head and his smile faded.

 

“ Hakyeon… I’m sorry about what Taekwoon said. He's just really shocked and- “

 

Hakyeon shook his head. 

 

“ No. He’s right. I’m ugly, even as a girl. “

 

Hongbin gripped his shoulder, so firmly it almost hurt him.

 

“ What are you saying?? That’s not true. You’re not ugly. Don’t mind what Taekwoon said. He’s like a child, when he’s angry he says stupid things without meaning them. “

 

Sanghyuk sighed. 

 

“ Yeah, I know how it is to say stupid shit when you’re frustrated and angry… “

 

“ Frustrated? Why would Taekwoon be frustrated? “

 

They all looked at each other, appearing embarrassed. 

 

“ You really don’t see why… “

 

“ No! I understand he might be angry, but why frustrated? “

 

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes to the sky while the others snorted. 

 

“ Never mind. “

 

Hakyeon looked at Wonshik, realizing Jaehwan wasn’t with him as usual.

 

“ Where… Where is Jaehwan, Wonshik? Is he mad at me? “

 

“ No, he’s not. He’s just sulking, I heard him mumbling something like “ I thought we were friends “ and “ you can’t even tell me everything”. Don’t give it too much attention, in a few hours he will come at you as loud as usual. “

  
  
  


\---------

  
  


Sometimes, Taekwoon wished he could read so he could take his mind off of stuff and stop thinking about annoying things. Since he couldn’t, he decided to exercise a little bit on the upper deck. he took his sword and carefully opened the door, surveying outside to be sure no one was there, especially that fucking dude. 

 

_ Don’t think about him. Ignore his existence. _

 

Once he was on the deck, he took off his shirt and did some stretching before starting some basic moves, progressively complicating them. Soon, he was sweating and breathing heavily. 

 

_ Why am I so angry? Why does it matter to me if he’s a man or a woman? I shouldn't give a fuck.  _

 

Taekwoon twirled his sword, countered, spinning and splitting the ghosts of his mind. Nothing else mattered; only him and his sword, only one entity. Suddenly, with the corner of his eye that wasn’t covered by his mask, he detected a movement. He immediately pointed his sword under the chin of the man who appeared on the desk in front of him. It was that disgusting man again. He tightened his grip on the sword, jaw clenched. 

 

“ What are you doing there? Didn’t you hear me? Do you want to die already? “

 

The man didn’t move and held his gaze. 

 

“ You’re not going to kill me. You’re not a monster. You don’t kill for your pleasure or to satisfy your whims. “

 

They looked at each other’s eyes for a moment, not moving, almost holding their breath. Finally, Taekwoon lowered his sword. 

 

“ What do you want? “

 

“ I came to apologize. I know you probably won’t give a fuck, but I’m truly sorry that I had to hide my true identity. Not everything was a lie… “

 

Taekwoon remembered everything that happened between them during the last few weeks. The guy’s temper, him breaking his nose, him witnessing his weakness and tears, them spending days together as if they were friends, them talking on that cliff at sundown. These pictures were engraved in his mind forever. He turned his back and talked with a low voice. He was tired of being angry. 

 

“ Please leave me alone. “

 

He heard light footstep fading away, without more words. When he was sure he was alone, he let himself drop to the floor. What was wrong with him? Why was he so affected by that? 

  
  
  


\--------------

  
  


When Hakyeon saw Hongbin again, night had already started to fall, and he realized he was hungry when his stomach loudly growled. Hongbin chuckled, playfully elbowing him. 

 

“ We can’t let you die from hunger, come here, we’re going to make some food. “

 

He followed him to the little kitchen that was next to his room and where most of the food was. Since they had recently bought some fresh vegetables on the island, the meal was richer than usual. Hongbin showed him how to cut and cook, and Hakyeon followed his instructions very seriously. Once they were done, they brought everything on the deck were the others had lit some lanterns and candles and were already sitting, forming a circle. He noticed that Taekwoon wasn’t there. Hongbin seemed to notice it too and sighed. 

 

“ He’s sulking again. Don’t mind him, he will eventually come out once he’s ready to face his own feelings. “

 

Wonshik, who heard them, stood up and helped Hongbin put the pots down. Then he proceeded to gather a portion on a bowl. 

 

“ I’m going to bring that to Taekwoon. “

 

Before he left, Hongbin held his arm. 

 

“ Wait a minute, I prepared something for him. Hakyeon, can you take the teapot and the cup that I left in the kitchen? “

 

Hakyeon nodded and went to grab what Hongbin asked, hearing Wonshik complaining.

 

“ How am I going to carry all of that? “

 

Hakyeon easily found what he was looking for, and recognized them.  _ Angelica Archangelica _ . Despite Hongbin acting as if he was annoyed by Taekwoon’s childish behavior, he was truly worried about him. Typical Hongbin. He also took a tray so Wonshik wouldn’t struggle to carry everything. Once he was done, he returned to the others. Jaehwan sat next to him, pouting at him like a kid. Hakyeon laughed and ruffled his hair. 

 

“ Aw Jaehwan, you’re mad because I hid the truth from you? “

 

Jaehwan was trying to look angry but he was only being a fluffy ball of cuteness. He guessed that Wonshik was back when he heard him cooing somewhere behind them. 

 

“ I’m sorry, you know that I didn’t have a choice… “

 

Wonshik came closer to him and whispered with his husky voice.

 

“ Praise him and tell him he’s cute, he will forgive you. “

 

Hakyeon smirked and hugged Jaehwan, not giving him the time to step back.

 

“ You’re the cutest, the most adorable pirate that I know! How could I deliberately lie to you! “

 

Jaehwan grumbled, before finally patting his back. 

 

“ Alright, alright. I forgive you. But no more lies. We’re friends, after all, no? Now go away, I want to eat. “

 

Hakyeon obeyed and winked at Wonshik to thank him for the advice. They all ate, talking happily. Hakyeon was more than happy to finally be enjoying some time with them without having to lie and pretend to be someone else. They weren’t having a good time with lady Amber, but truly with Cha Hakyeon. People were actually sharing pleasant moments with him. When was the last time it happened? He couldn’t even remember. At home, he didn’t have a lot of friends, only Amber. It was delightful to talk with men around his age for once, instead of his old instructors. If someone had told him one month ago that he would befriend pirates, he would have been offended. But now, all of this seemed so normal. He stopped considering them as criminals taking people’s lives, but only saw them as people struggling to stay alive and be treated like decent humans. The only shadow in the picture remained Taekwoon, who seemed to struggle with forgiving him. It was understandable after all, they were closer than the rest of the crew, Taekwoon even cried in front of him. He just needed time. He hoped he just needed time. He started to miss his presence. Even if Taekwoon didn’t always talk, just him sitting next to him was something he learned to appreciate. It was somehow calming and reassuring. Now, his left side felt empty. He was brought out of his thoughts by Jaewhan talking to him with his high pitched voice. 

 

“ Hey, Hakyeon, talk to us about the true lady Amber! How is she? Does she look like you? Is she a fragile and shy woman? “

 

Hakyeon smiled while putting his empty bowl on the floor.

 

“ In appearance, we’re really different. She’s around my height, but her skin is whiter than mine, and I think she’s way prettier than me. But our personalities are kind of similar. Actually, she’s probably worse than me. If you had taken her, she would have given you so much more struggle and pain. She has a strong temper and is fearless. She also likes joking and playing tricks. “

 

Wonshik groaned.

 

“ A pain in the ass. You’re already not really a piece of cake, it’s a good thing that we made that mistake. “

 

Hakyeon hit his arm, laughing.

 

“ Hey, don’t be mean! She’s also really nice. She’s my only friend and she always took care of me, especially when I lost my parents. ‘’

 

The mood suddenly dropped at the mention of his parents. Jaehwan placed a hand on his shoulder, gently stroking it.

  
  


“ Hakyeon… About that… We’re really sorry. We know pirates did it and that it must be hard for you to be here… “

 

Hakyeon shook his head, seeing the apologetic looks on the other’s faces. 

 

“ Don’t worry, it’s not like you did it. A few days ago, I still would have  been angry at you and probably wouldn’t eat with you like this. But now… I understood a lot of things…. “

 

Suddenly, Hakyeon froze, realizing something. He turned his head to Jaehwan, shaking. 

 

“ Jaehwan… How did you know who lady Amber is and where she was going? “

 

Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow and shrugged, answering faster than Jaehwan.

 

“ You should ask the captain, it’s usually him who talks with our source. Most of the time, we don’t even see them. They just give us useful information in exchange for a small part from what we gain with it. “

 

“ Why are you asking that? “

 

Jaehwan looked concerned, and Hakyeon hesitated a little bit before talking about what was in his mind. After all, perhaps it was just a coincidence. But Hakyeon didn’t believe in coincidences.

 

“ It’s probably nothing, it’s just… I know it’s stupid,but I find it weird. My parents got attacked by pirates, and so did I. If it were other pirates, or if you weren’t fooled by my cross-dressing, I would be dead too. “

 

“ Do you mean… That someone wants you and your family dead? “

 

Hakyeon nodded, eyebrows furrowed. There was a silence, confirming to him that he wasn’t the only one who found these coincidences strange. Who was trying to end his bloodline, and why?

  
  
  
  



	8. temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay and angst. also a summary of my life.

 Days passed, and Hakyeon found himself growing more and more anxious as the day of the ransom approached. He should be more than happy to know that he would soon be returning to his family, to his comfort; his peaceful life where he didn’t have to do anything. Yet, he couldn’t get the fact that someone probably wanted him death out of his mind. Would he be safe? He couldn’t stay with these pirates forever, even if for now they were protecting him more than bringing any harm to him. They probably wouldn’t want to get bothered with him, and he couldn’t become a pirate. Killing people, even if it was to save his life; he couldn’t do that. He would be dead before he could be able to kill anyone. At least, he wanted to fight if someone was after his life. Even if he couldn’t survive, he didn’t want to die without trying. That’s why he went to see Taekwoon, one early morning while he was exercising. As soon as Taekwoon saw him, he stopped his movements. This time, he didn’t threaten him with his sword. Since that day, he was ignoring him and staying in his room, barely talking to the others. 

 

“ What do you want? “

 

As usual, his tone was cold.

 

“ I’m… I want to ask you something... “

 

Taekwoon wrinkled his nose.

 

“ What it is? “

 

Hakyeon held his hands together tightly as if it could give him more strength, before looking at him with determination.

 

“ I want you to teach me how to fight. “

 

Taekwoon raised a surprised eyebrow, taken aback by his sudden demand. 

 

“ And why would I do that? “

 

“ I already asked the others, and they refused. They said it’s not my place to know how to fight and that if I’m that worried about my safety, I should hire a bodyguard. “

 

Taekwoon crossed his arms on his chest.

 

“ Why are you so worried about your safety suddenly? “

 

Oh, that’s right, he wasn’t there when they talked about that. 

 

“ Well… I think someone wants to kill me. “

 

This time, Taekwoon looked curious. 

 

“ Why do you think that? “

 

Hakyeon blushed. He wasn’t even sure about that, he was only speculating. 

 

“ My parents were killed by pirates when they were traveling… And I was also attacked. This is a weird coincidence. Since I have a big fortune left by my parents, it would make sense. “

 

For a moment, he thought that Taekwoon would laugh at him for being paranoid, but after a few minutes of deep thinking, he finally sighed. 

 

“ I think you’re right to be careful. In this world, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Fine, I’ll teach you a few things. But the others are right; you should hire a bodyguard anyway. “

 

Hakyeon smiled happily, almost wanting to hug him in relief. 

 

“ Yes, I’ll think about it when I go back to my family! Thank you so much! “

 

He didn’t ask why he suddenly agreed to help him when it was pretty obvious that he was still holding a grudge against him. He didn’t want him to change his mind. 

 

They started their first session immediately. The pirate showed him some stretching moves, saying how important it was to be flexible. He realized that he was actually pretty good at that, even Taekwoon seemed impressed. After that, he taught him some easy self-defense moves. While correcting his posture, their bodies happened to linger together, causing Hakyeon’s heart to beat faster. The last time they were that close, was when he fell asleep on his shoulder, on that cliff…

 

“ What are you thinking about? I told you to focus! “

  
  


Hakyeon blushed and nodded nervously. But how could he focus when the other’s body was so close to him, his chest touching his back and his hands around his arms? He could even feel his breath against his neck, making him shiver. 

 

“ I’m- I’m sorry. I’ll try harder, I swear! “

 

 They continued like that for a few hours, Hakyeon trying his best to not think about their bodies touching but about the fact that someone probably wanted him dead. Despite that, he couldn’t help but feel his heart stop every time he felt Taekwoon’s long fingers brushing his skin; he felt like every light touch was leaving burning scars. Finally, the torture ended when the sun started to set. He couldn’t believe they spent the whole day doing that, he really didn’t feel the time pass… Now that he realized how long they had been exercising, he could feel his sore muscles and his stomach growling. They ended the session with some stretching, and Taekwoon dismissed him. Hakyeon was about to return to the others to wash a little bit before helping Hongbin with dinner when he changed his mind and held onto Taekwoon’s wrist, who looked at him with a puzzled expression. 

  
  


“ Wait… Don’t stay alone like that, come eat with us. The others miss you and they are worried about you. “

 

Taekwoon considered the request for a moment.

 

“ … I’ll see. Let’s wash up first. “

 

Hakyeon let him go, a soft smile on his lips. His tone seemed less cold when he talked to him. He left him on the deck, quickly washing up and changing clothes. He knew they should save water, but he really hated smelling like sweat. Once he was done, he met Hongbin who was already preparing the food. 

 

“ Where have you been today? I didn’t see you at all. “

 

“ I was… What about you, do I ask you where you are when you disappear with Sanghyuk? ‘’

 

 That seemed to affect Hongbin, who looked at his feet while his face was as red as the tomato he was cutting. Hakyeon didn’t even know why he didn’t want to tell Hongbin. It was nothing, really, yet he wanted to keep these intimate moments with Taekwoon for himself. They were done soon and when they came on the deck with the food, they found Taekwoon sitting with the others, who were happily teasing him. Hakyeon smiled fondly at the scenery in front of him.　He noticed Hongbin beside him who was also showing his dimples. They sat together as if it was the first time, talking until the late hours of the night. This time, Hakyeon felt right; having Taekwoon by his side even if he wasn’t talking to him. It would happen. He didn’t doubt that. 

 

 When Jaehwan started to yawn, they decided that it was time to go to sleep and Taekwoon left them. Hakyeon followed the others. Now that he wasn’t supposed to be a lady, there was no excuse for him to have a single room so he was sleeping with the others in the hold. It wasn’t that big but more than enough for five grown men. They were sleeping on blankets and bamboo mats. It took a few days for Hakyeon to accommodate, but now he wasn’t feeling too uncomfortable. Since it was dark, he asked the others to light some candles. He liked it better like this, the candles gave the hold a warm atmosphere. He took off his pants, only keeping his shirt on before sliding under his covers next to Jaehwan. At first, he was sleeping beside Wonshik but soon he realized it was a really bad idea. The pirate not only snored loudly, but he also knocked into everyone beside him during his sleep. Only Jaehwan seemed to be able to handle that so they switched places. Jaehwan was more than happy with that because Hakyeon allowed him to cuddle while they slept. He didn’t mind at all; it felt nice having someone curled against him. At his right was Hongbin then Sanghyuk, a little bit apart from them.

 

“ Why is Taekwoon sleeping alone? Is that a captain privilege?  “

 

They were all getting ready to sleep when Hakyeon asked this question, making all heads turn in his direction. Hongbin chuckled, taking his shirt off. Hakyeon didn’t miss the fact that he had a really nice body. 

 

“ Yeah, captain privilege, but besides that pirate tradition, Taekwoon needs his own space. He cares about us and we’re all friends, but sometimes he has to take time for himself. We just need to be careful or he forgets to go out of his cave. “

 

“ Oh, I see. “

Hakyeon could understand that. Taekwoon looked really introverted and constantly being with four guys might be overwhelming. They softly chatted for a moment, before Sanghyuk blew out the candles and they whispered their good night wishes. 

 

Hakyeon tried to sleep, but he couldn’t. Every time he closed his eyes, pictures from his day came back, making his heart race. He sighed, kicking his blanket off. He was getting too hot. He decided to go out to get some fresh air and ventilate his brain.

 

 Of course, his plan failed when he saw a familiar shadow on the deck who apparently had the same idea. He hesitated before coming closer to him. Taekwoon, who apparently didn’t hear him coming, jolted when he felt his presence next to him.

 

“ What are you doing there? “

 

His voice was a little bit dry, but he was more surprised than really mad. Hakyeon chuckled, keeping his gaze on the dark sea in front of him.

 

“ Seems like we both have the same problem. What keeps you awake? “

 

“ Not your business. What about you? “

 

“ Not your business. “

 

Hakyeon noted that Taekwoon deliberately chose to ignore the fact that he just made fun of him. They just stood there next to each other, watching the night around them, enveloping them like a heavy coat. It was truly beautiful. When he was at home, Hakyeon never had the chance to see such a vast sky with this many stars. It was a moonless night, the darkness making the stars even more visible, reflecting on the sea. He felt like he was floating in the night. 

  
  


\---------------

 

Taekwoon hated that boy -Hakyeon he heard the others call him- even more. He was just trying to rest when his face woke him up. He couldn’t stop thinking about their exercising session earlier that day. He didn’t even know why he agreed to teach him all that. But when Hakyeon told him that someone wanted to kill him, he felt nauseous, just thinking about his inert body, lifelessly spread on the floor, drowning in his own blood. He couldn’t let him die. And now, not only were his dreams harassing him, the man himself was showing up when he was trying to forget about him. He didn’t find his presence detestable, actually. They weren’t talking, just taking advantage of the quiet night. Suddenly, he felt Hakyeon shiver by his side. He eyed him and saw him stroking his arms in an attempt to warm up. His glance came down along his body, and he froze when he noticed that he wasn’t wearing anything under that shirt. He tried to avert his eyes, but his mind wanted to see more of his skin despite the darkness. For a fraction of a second, he wished he could see these legs under the daylight. Right after thinking that, he looked away, ashamed of having such disgusting thoughts. He quickly took off his coat and dropped it on Hakyeon’s shoulders. Without saying anything, before the man in front of him could say anything, he left him, without turning around and just walked toward his room with big steps. Once he had closed the door behind him, he let his body rest against the wooden door, raising a hand to his chest, waiting for his body to calm down. He didn’t know what happened to him. At the thought of Hakyeon’s legs, his pretty tanned legs -he clearly saw them the day they discovered his identity- eventually wrapped around his waist… No, that was so wrong! He shook his head, trying to clear his mind from that image as he felt his body heating up. What was going on, did he catch a cold? He couldn’t be affected just by that. It was impossible. He wasn’t even gay, after all. Yeah, he probably caught a cold. He threw himself on his bed, groaning into his pillow. That man was driving him crazy. He considered waking Hongbin up to ask for something to help him sleep, but knowing his friend, he was likely to kill him for disturbing him. So he stayed in his bed, rolling over and over until Morpheus finally took him in his arms when the sun was started to rise. His sleep was haunted by morbid pictures of Hakyeon laying in his own blood.

 

 He woke up at the sound of someone banging on the door and a high pitched voice yelling that he had to wake up before Hongbin kicked his ass. He grumbled, squeezing his cover around him. He waited a few minutes before starting to move. He wished he could sleep more, but knowing Hongbin, it wasn’t an empty warning.

 

“ I’m up, go away. “

 

He heard laughter behind the door before any sounds disappeared. What time was it? He looked outside; the sun was already high in the sky. It was probably around noon. He quickly changed clothes, remembering that he was supposed to see Hakyeon for their training. He remembered his nightmares and shivered. It was only dreams. He didn’t have to worry. It wasn’t even his business. He just had to teach him enough self-defense to avoid that scene becoming a reality.

 

 He left his room and climbed the stairs to the upper deck, where he found Hakyeon already stretching. He greeted him with a wide smile and Taekwoon turned his head so he could hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.

 

“ You slept in pretty late today, did you struggle to sleep after you left last night? “

 

Of course, he had to remind him of that moment. He glared at him with as much disdain as he could. 

 

“ It’s not your- “

 

“ Business, I know. I can always hope. “

 

Taekwoon turned around to face Hakyeon, who was looking at his feet with a disappointed look.

 

“ Why do you want me to talk to you that much anyway? “

 

Hakyeon shrugged, raising his head toward him.

 

“ I don’t know, I just want us to be friends. “

 

“ That’s stupid. Aristocrats and pirates can’t be friends. “

 

“ But Jaehwan and the others-”

 

“ That’s only an illusion. Once you return to your life, you will forget about us. And if you don’t, you could be arrested for that. “

 

Hakyeon lowered his head again. Taekwoon could see his sad expression and almost felt bad. But after all, it was the truth. 

 

“ Alright, enough talk, aren’t we supposed to teach you how to fight so you can stay alive a little bit longer? “

  
  


\-------------------

 

This time, they touched less, to Hakyeon’s relief. They mostly fought lightly, Taekwoon just verbally correcting his posture. It was way better for his concentration. They had only been training for two hours when Hakyeon noticed that Taekwoon looked even more tired than him. He considered asking him if everything was alright, but he probably wouldn’t answer him. It was better to tell Hongbin to give him some relaxing herbs. 

 

“ Let’s stop here, Taekwoon. I think we should take a break. I’ll be back soon, I’m coming back with some water.“

 

Taekwoon just nodded and stepped back to rest against the wooden railing behind them. 

 

He left him, looking for Hongbin. Strangely, no one was on the deck, so he got down to the hold. He only found Wonshik sleeping and Jaehwan beside him, apparently examining some maps. He raised his head when he heard Hakyeon, placing a finger on his lips to indicate him to be quiet and whisper. 

 

“ Where are Hongbin and Sanghyuk? Why aren’t you on the deck? “

 

“ Wonshik was tired and it’s too hot outside, I can’t focus while being blinded by the sun. Hongbin is probably working in his room with Sanghyuk or cooking. Is everything alright? “

 

“ Yes, I just needed to talk to Hongbin about Taekwoon. ‘’

 

“ Did something happen? “

 

Hakyeon could hear the concern in his voice and his brows were furrowed. He raised his hands, gesturing him to not worry. 

 

“ It’s fine, he just looks tired. I wonder if he sleeps enough. “

 

Jaehwan sighed and relaxed his shoulders. 

 

“ That dumbass… He won’t say anything, carrying all his worries and anxiety for himself. How many times did we tell him to open up to us and that we can help him? “

 

“ It’s… Probably my fault. Its because I’m here, he’s stressed and feels uncomfortable… “

 

Jaehwan shook his head, laughing softly. 

 

“ No, don’t worry. We tended to be like that, even before you came. In fact, I think for a while you even made him feel better. “

 

“ But that was before he discovered that my entire existence to him was a lie… And now I made things worse. “

 

Jaehwan stood up and came toward him, gently patting his shoulder. 

 

“ It wasn’t only lies, am I wrong? Your gender doesn’t matter, whether you’re a boy or a girl, that doesn’t change the value of the time you spent together. Just give him more time, as we said, he needs to face and accept his own feelings. “

 

Hakyeon nodded, not fully understanding everything. He left Jaehwan, who returned to Wonshik’s side, who reached for his hand in his sleep. Jaehwan didn’t move, as if it was a usual habit between them. Hakyeon returned to the main deck, stretching his arms above him. Jaehwan was right; the sun was pretty hot today and the usual wind wasn’t blasting. He needed to get back to Taekwoon quickly before he turned into dried fish. First of all, finding Hongbin. He opened the curtains of Hongbin’s room without announcing himself, delving into the room. 

 

“ Hey Hongbin, I need- “

 

 He stopped himself, noticing the scene he was interrupting and he started blushing really hard. In front of him, Hongbin was pinned against the wall by Sangyuk’s strong arms. They were kissing and if Hakyeon wasn’t mistaken, Hongbin had Sanghyuk’s hand down his pants. 

 

_ Fuck you Jaehwan, straight my ass.  _

 

 As soon as they heard him, they jolted and moved away from each other in a rush, a string of saliva still connecting their lips. 

 

_ Yeek. _

 

The three of them stood there awkwardly, knowing very well what just happened and that there wasn’t any escape possible. Hakyeon thought Hongbin would yell at him, but he was facepalming himself while Sanghyuk looked pretty contracted. He was the first one to start talking. 

 

“ I told you it was stupid to hide and that someone would obviously catch us. “

 

Hongbin looked at him with angry eyes and put his hands on his waist

 

“ Is it my fault that you can’t keep your hands to yourself as soon as we’re alone in the same room? “

 

“ Well EXCUSE ME if I love you and want more intimate moments with you cause we’re always HIDING and have never time as a COUPLE. Do you even care about that? “

 

“ Pardon me??? Do you not trust me??? We were perfectly fine before, no one caught us. We’re just too many people on that stupid small boat. “

 

_ Oh no, they are that annoying couple who always fight no matter if someone is in the same room.  _

 

“ Are we having that talk again, Hongbin? I told you that I trusted you, I’m actually talking about saving our relationship right now. “

 

“ Erm, Excuse me…. “

 

They both turned their head toward Hakyeon, remembering his existence. 

 

“ If you want to keep it a secret, I won’t tell the others, don’t worry. “

 

Hongbin looked at Sanghyuk with a satisfied smile. 

 

“ You see? Even he agrees with me about keeping it a secret. “

 

“ Huh? Actually I just assumed you didn’t want me to announce it to the others. In fact, I would rather be on Sanghyuk’s side. Truth cannot remain hidden, and your friends would prefer to be told rather than accidentally find out. They look pretty open-minded after all, it shouldn't be a problem. “

 

Hongbin's posture immediately changed, his face showed anger and a hint of betrayal. 

If a glance could kill, Hakyeon would be dead now, his body pierced with hundreds of knives.

 

“ You DON’T understand, you’re a stranger, you barely know us, just because you’re richer than us, that doesn’t mean you’re smarter. Go away. “

 

That was too much for Hakyeon. He felt like everyone was using him as a punching bag and discharging their insecurities on him as insults.

 

“ Fine. Good. Amazing. Another pirate  being mean to me for no fucking reason, that’s all. I don’t give a shit about your shitty relationship, you can go back to fucking each other. “

 

He left the room, feeling the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. What did he expect? They were just pirates. Friends didn’t even mean anything to them. Both Taekwoon and Hongbin were right: it was only an illusion and he barely knew them. He was only playing friends with everyone, forgetting his condition as a hostage. He needed a place to isolate himself. He had enough of these stupid pirates. He should have escaped sooner. He finally decided to hide in the storage room; the first place he stayed when he came on this ship. He dropped on the floor, hugging his knees, and for the first time since the attack, he allowed himself to cry. He didn’t know how long he stayed like that but he suddenly felt the pressure he had accumulated. His life was a mess. His parents were dead, he lived surrounded by cold and distant people, always mocked by the other kids because of his tanned skin, he was a prisoner on a ship full of stupid pirates and once he would get back to his home, he would probably be killed.

 

“ What’s even the point of fighting? It’s my fate to die like a rat, at least I should be able to choose my end. I should have died sooner. “

 

“ What nonsense are you saying? “

 

He flinched, surprised by the sudden voice next to him. He raised his head to meet Taekwoon’s face, dangerously close. Since when had he been there? He didn’t hear him opening the door. He tried to calm down his sobs and wipe his tears, but Taekwoon gently took his wrists in his huge hands, keeping them away from his face. 

 

“ It’s alright. You can cry. After all, you were there when I broke down. It’s only normal if do the same for you. “

 

 Hakyeon didn’t need to be told twice and grasped his shirt, hiding in his chest, loudly crying while Taekwoon pet his hair, almost tenderly, whispering soft and soothing words. 

 

 When Hakyeon calmed down, he parted from Taekwoon, not meeting his eyes. 

 

“ What happened? I was waiting for the water and was about to die of thirst so I went to see what was taking you so long, and when I arrived, Hongbin and Hyuk were yelling at each other and you were nowhere to be found. Luckily, this ship isn’t big and I quickly found you while you were mumbling those insanities. 

 

Hakyeon sniffed, curling into a ball, raising his shoulders and holding his arms.

 

“ I’m just… tired of life. Of my life. Since my parents died, nothing has been right. I was so lonely, despite my cousin being there. I didn’t feel loved by my uncle and aunt despite them taking care of me when I became an orphan. Understandable, after all, I’m nothing but a burden. They couldn’t even marry me;  who would want such an ugly and useless husband? “

 

Taekwoon held his hand, making him look into his eyes. 

 

“ Hey, You’re not ugly. “

 

“ But you said- “

 

“ What I said was stupid and a lie. I was just pissed, mostly at myself. I will say that again: you’re absolutely not ugly. And if people think so, then their taste fucking sucks. “

 

Hakyeon smiled weakly at him. He was trying his best to make him feel better, but that didn’t make him forget about all the other problems. 

 

“ Now will you tell me what happened? Don’t tell me you cried because of our training, it wasn’t that hard. ‘’

 

Hakyeon chuckled, shaking his head. 

 

“ No, it’s… Hongbin got angry at me, and I had enough of insults and people being mean to me, even if I deserve it. ‘’

 

“ No matter what you did, no one should talk to you harshly! Do you want me to talk to him? “

 

“ No, it’s fine. I can deal with it by myself. I just needed some time alone… And as you said, our so-called friendship is an only an illusion. We have to endure each other’s presence for only a few more days and I will disappear from your life. You don’t have to worry. Soon, you all will return to your normal life, without an unnecessary disturbance. “

 

“ You’re not- “

 

Hakyeon shushed him by raising a hand.

 

“ It’s alright. I don’t care anyway. Thanks for listening to my rant, I feel better now. I'm going to sleep, I’m tired and not hungry. Have a good night, ask Hongbin for some tea if you have insomnia. “

 

That being said, he left the room first, avoiding the others and hiding under his covers, hoping they could swallow him and his sorrow. 

  
  


\----------------

 

 In the days that followed that incident, the atmosphere was pretty tense in the ship. So tense that you could almost cut it with a knife. No one was really talking to each other. Even the usually joyful Jaehwan was quiet as if the mood was contagious. They weren’t even eating together anymore:  everyone just prepared their own food. Hongbin stopped cooking for everyone, as he stopped doing the dishes and the laundry. When being asked, he would bitterly answer that he wasn’t their slave and that they were grown men. Despite that fact, it was pretty obvious that these grown men weren’t used to doing these tasks and the ship soon became a mess. 

 

 Taekwoon continued to teach Hakyeon self-defense moves and even some basic moves with a sword. Hakyeon was learning fast, guided by a wave of sudden rage. Taekwoon was almost disappointed that he wouldn’t become a pirate. He could become a really great and useful member of the team.

 

 Eventually, the day of the ransom arrived. It was a lugubrious day, the sun hidden by a veil of grey clouds, rain and thunder threatening to fall any time.

 

 They were approaching the place of the meeting. It was alongside the coast of a deserted island. As they came closer, Hakyeon started bidding his goodbyes. He started with Jaehwan, hugging him tightly for a long moment.

 

“ Thanks for everything, Jaehwan. You made these weeks less hard. “

 

“ Bullshit. “

 

Hakyeon knew Jaehwan wasn’t actually cursing at him but holding back his tears, but he acted like he didn’t know. He moved to briefly hug Wonshik. 

 

“ Thank you for everything, and take care of Jaehwan. ‘’

 

Wonshik nodded, smiling at him. He also had glassy eyes. Hakyeon looked toward Hongbin and Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk inclined his head toward him, muttering a quiet ‘ goodbye ‘ and hesitantly smiled at him. They hadn’t been really close since the beginning, but since the day he fought with Hongbin, Sanghyuk tried to be nicer to him, as to excuse the behaviors of his boyfriend, who was always sulking, not even looking in his direction. Hakyeon sighed. As he thought, he wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Hongbin. He looked around, surprised to not see Taekwoon.

 

‘’ He’s in his room. “

 

Hongbin’s tone was cold but not as abrasive as the day they fought. It wasn’t a lot, but it made Hakyeon feel better to know he was less angry. 

 

“ Thanks, Hongbin. “

 

“ Hm. Hurry up, we’re almost there. “

 

He climbed the stairs, a little bit nostalgic thinking it would be the last time. In a few minutes, he would be on another boat, heading toward home. He knocked on the door before entering. He found Taekwoon attaching a sword to his belt, hiding it under his coat. He raised his head to greet him with a soft smile. How much he would miss that smile. 

 

“ So… You’re leaving? As you can see, I prefer not taking any risks. Just in case something goes wrong. “

 

“ I see…. Well… Goodbye, I guess. Thanks for treating me nicely. “

 

Before Taekwoon could make a move, Hakyeon closed the space between them and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before moving away quickly. 

 

“ That’s for the forehead kiss. “

 

Without saying anything else, he left a dumbfounded and blushing Taekwoon behind. He slowly raised a hand to his cheek, as if he could feel those warm lips again his skin again.

 

_ So he wasn’t sleeping, that day, when I… Kissed his forehead? Why didn’t he say anything? It doesn’t matter now… _

 

After collecting himself, he returned to the rest of the crew, who had tied Hakyeon’s hands to make him look more credible as a hostage. Finally, they could see another ship coming in their direction. Taekwoon’s heart started to ache. That was stupid, he didn’t have a choice. He needed to let him go. 

 

_ Is he going to be alright? Did I teach him enough self-defense? _

 

“ Focus, Taekwoon. We can’t fuck up. “

 

Wonshik’s voice next to him made him regain his senses. He nodded, crossing his arms on his chest, waiting for the encounter. Soon, the two ships were close enough to clearly see everyone’s faces and be heard. In front of them was the same man they left alive the day of the attack. He looked at them with a smirk and vengeful eyes. Around him were a few shipmates, apparently not dangerous since they weren’t holding any weapons. They made Hakyeon stand in front of them, a sword under his chin. It was Wonshik who talked, as usual. He had the louder and most intimidating voice.

 

“ Do you have the ransom we asked? This isn’t the person that was targeted, but we heard Cha Hakyeon’s value is pretty similar. It shouldn’t be a problem. “

 

The man in front of them smiled but really, it wasn’t a reassuring smile. What was wrong with him? He looked too menacing for a man who was only bringing ransom. Whatever, he gestured to the huge container at his feet. One of the shipmates bent down to open it and showed them a gold coin as proof of what was inside. Taekwoon looked at the others who nodded in agreement. Everything seemed fine. The men in front of them installed a big wooden plank so Hakyeon could pass through the space between the boats. Hakyeon looked down, gulping. It wouldn’t be easy with both hands tied in front of him. But it was the final test. He looked back toward them, smiling a last time. 

 

“ Hurry up. “

 

Hongbin’s voice wasn’t as strong as he hoped. Hakyeon slowly advanced on the unstable bridge, walking step by step, until he reached the other side. 

 

_ Safe. He is safe.  _

 

Suddenly, before anyone could react, the man behind Hakyeon drew out a sword they hadn’t seen and blood splattered everywhere. On the gold, on the boat, on Hakyeon’s clothes, out of his mouth. Hakyeon’s eyes widened, his brain not having the time to process what was happening, as Taekwoon, a few meters from him, was experiencing his worst nightmare. He couldn’t even move or scream, as the others beside him. Everything happened too quickly. It was as if time stopped until Hakyeon’s body fell on the floor with a thud. The man looked at them, his laugh freezing their blood inside their body.

 

“ Cha Hakyeon is dead. “

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can yell at me on twitter :D


	9. blood lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon has to save Hakyeon's body and mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /!\ this chapter is kind of violent, if you're uncomfortable with that please skip it, it won't really affect the whole plot!

“ Cha Hakyeon is dead. “

 

These words echoed in Hakyeon’s head, as he felt pain consuming him. His back was burning; it hurt so much that he couldn't make a sound, couldn’t even cry out. It was too much. His body fell to the floor, and he tried his best not to lose consciousness. 

 

_ It’s a trap. They need to run away. _

 

He managed to look at the face of the man above him, and met his terrifying eyes, making him shiver with fear and horror. All he could see in those eyes were death and madness. What had happened to him? He could barely recognize the shaking captain he left the day of the attack, injured and begging for his life. Perhaps he wanted to avenge his dead companions? But why would he kill him? He was the son of Master Liu. That didn’t make any sense. But now wasn’t the time to think about it. He heard screams of rage, probably Taekwoon, or Wonshik, he wasn’t sure. At this moment, he heard people coming behind them and the sounds of swords clashing. Obviously, armed men had been hiding, waiting for the occasion to attack them. 

 

_ Why aren’t they running away? What are they waiting for? _

 

Hakyeon suddenly realized that maybe they wanted to fight. Maybe they wanted to avenge him.

 

_ No, they are going to die. _

 

He gathered his strength and realized that the wound wasn’t that deep. It was mostly painful. Perhaps he could even survive. He succeeded in finding support on the wooden fence and as fast as he could, he knocked down the planks that still connected the boats and he heard the satisfying sound of them hitting the water.

 

_ Good. They should be safe.  _

 

The man behind him cursed and insulted him, before kicking him several times, causing him to fall once again to the floor, coughing blood. He didn’t care. He did what he had to do. He was probably dead anyway. The world around him became blurry, the sounds became more and more distant. Was he about to die like this? It wasn’t that bad. He learned a lot about the world and even managed to save these pirates. He did well. Finally, everything went dark and he wasn’t able to open his eyes anymore.

 

_ Let me sleep just a little bit. We will meet again. Soon. _

  
  


___

 

Taekwoon watched the planks fall into the sea with horror, and Hakyeon’s already wounded body beaten by the scum in front of them. His blood boiled and anger raised until he finally exploded. He didn’t even ask the others, he didn’t think about a proper plan, he just let his primal instincts guide him. He took a few steps back and drew out his sword, calculating the distance.

 

“ Taekwoon wait- “

 

He didn’t let Hongbin finish his sentence; he ran toward the other ship and jumped as far as he could. Fortunately, he landed on the other side without hurting himself. He quickly sent a glance to Hakyeon, who wasn’t moving. 

 

_ Please, be alive. Wait just a little bit.  _

 

Then, he attacked the men in front of him, without even thinking that there were way too many to handle it by himself. 

 

It wasn’t long until the other members joined him, he was lucky to have such supportive members. But how could they stay impassible when Hakyeon’s life was in danger? For once, even Jaehwan was taking part, due to the number of their enemies. He wasn’t using a deadly weapon, though: only a long stick that he was maneuvering with ability. Taekwoon didn’t pay much attention to the others, he trusted them enough to know they would be fine. They had to be fine. 

 

He looked for the man who was responsible for his fury, ending the men that tried to get in his way as soon as possible. His brain was on autopilot. He was only slashing throats, avoiding swords and piercing bodies. He was soon covered in blood but he didn’t mind it.

 

Finally, he was facing the captain. He looked at him with hatred and disgust, as he was backed into a corner, cowardly holding onto his sword, nervously looking at him. He was obviously more capable of governing his ship than fighting pirates. Taekwoon took a step forward, quickly disarming him.

 

“ This is how you thank us for sparing your life? You know there won’t be a second chance, right? Why did you do that? “

 

The man still had the audacity to smirk at him, even knowing he wouldn’t be alive for much longer.

 

“ How amusing. Why does this useless man’s fate affect you so much? “

 

Taekwoon was starting to lose his last drop of self-control. He pressed his sword against the man’s cheek until it bled and slowly traced a red line from the cheekbone to his eye, there, without any hesitation, sank his blade into it, the screams of the man almost like a melody. 

 

“ If you answer me, perhaps I will kill you fast. But continue to play with my nerves, and trust me, I will keep you alive just so you can feel an unceasing pain and beg  me to execute you. Do not play with demons. “

 

He stepped back a little, and the man looked at him with a new fear, holding his face as if it could fix his missing eye. 

 

“ You’re crazy, you’re not human- “

 

“ I didn’t ask you to tell me things I already know. Now, tell me what I want. “

 

The man seemed to hesitate, looking around him, hoping for someone to save him. But most of his men were dead or gravely injured. 

 

“ No one is coming for you. You already know that, inside of your cruel heart. “

 

He brought his attention back to the pirate in front of him, finally deciding that a quick death would be much more pleasing than suffering for days.

 

“ … Alright. Since you asked. I still can’t believe you care about him this much. His own family wants him death. “

 

Taekwoon’s hand suddenly felt weak and his weapon too heavy for him. 

 

“ What? “

 

“ You heard me. This guy is unlucky enough to possess an immense fortune, and his uncle and aunt are greedy enough to plan the death of his parents. An accident, of course. A basic pirate’s attack. But now, they have to deal with a useless kid. At first, they thought they could use him for something, but he wasn’t strong enough to be a soldier and he’s not even pretty, what can you do with such a useless child? Every time they tried to find him a rich a powerful wife, their parents would see his ugly and tanned face and just laugh at them, asking why they would marry their precious daughter to a peasant. His only friends were interested in him only because he had money. He never had anyone. That’s why they hired me to plan another “ accident “. But you took him, and it was even better, their own daughter wasn’t in danger. They just had to pretend that he died in the attack. He already has a grave. No one wants him back. He’s more useful dead than alive, trust me. I’m doing him a favor. “

 

Taekwoon had no words. That was monstrous. How could a family think like that? Hakyeon deserved so much better. He wanted to tell the man how amazing Hakyeon was, but what was the point? He was going to die soon. He would pay for being involved in such an atrocity. He was able to talk again when he noticed that the man was looking at something above his shoulder. He turned around, and his eyes widened. Hakyeon was standing behind them, struggling to keep standing and holding a knife he probably used to cut his ropes that he was now holding in front of him, shaking. 

 

“ Hakyeon? are you alright? Did you… hear everything? “

 

Hakyeon didn’t answer. His eyes were glued to the man, full of the same thing that Taekwoon noticed one time when they were training. Madness. Hate. Rage. Despair. 

 

He walked toward his target, blood dripping from his back. He was stumbling on his feet, but Taekwoon chose not to interfere. He watched Hakyeon come closer, and finally pull the man by the hair, gritting his teeth as if he was about to tear his throat open with his canines.

 

“ You dare pretend to be human. You fucking monster. All this time, you were acting nice when you couldn’t wait for me to be dead, so you could have a little bit of the money which is MINE. “

 

He pulled on the hair harder, and the man grimaced. He kneed the man in the guts, making him wince in pain. 

 

“ You call yourself a man, daring to come back to finish the job, looking me in the eyes, already knowing that I was dead? And you tried to hurt MY friends, setting a trap for them? “

 

This time, it was his knife that he sank in the crotch of the man who started screaming. He repeatedly took it out to stab again, his hands starting to get drenched in blood. The man was now crying, looking at the pirate with his single eye, begging him.

 

“ You- You said it would be fast- “

 

Taekwoon glared at him. 

 

“ Well, sorry, that so-called useless man is a little out of control now. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop him. “

 

Not even caring to answer, Hakyeon grabbed the man by the collar, threw him on the floor and straddled him. 

 

“ See you in hell. ‘’

 

And finally, he sank the blade in his stomach. Again. And again. He didn’t stop, even when the man stopped screaming and moving. Taekwoon shivered. He couldn’t let Hakyeon be controlled by blood lust. He did everything he could to prevent Hongbin and the others from turning into such a beast, he would do the same for Hakyeon. He needed to save his humanity. He crouched next to him, gently holding his arm. Hakyeon tried to free himself, but he had lost too much blood to resist.

 

“ Hakyeon, he’s dead. It’s over for him now. Do not let him take the best of you. I understand your pain. I know how this feels. We all know. But don’t let this pain control you, alright? You’re worth so much more than that. “

 

Hakyeon’s hand opened and the knife fell with a clinking sound. He didn’t look at Taekwoon, his shoulders sagged and head low. Taekwoon carefully stroked the back of his hand, whispering shooting words to make him relax, until he collapsed in his arms. Taekwoon tried to carry him, but winced, realizing that he wasn’t totally unscathed. Suddenly, Wonshik was by his side, extending his arms. His sweet and calm Wonshik, watching him with worried and serious eyes. He was always such an amazing and reliable support for him. 

 

“ I will take him, Taekwoon. “

 

“ Are they- “

 

Wonshik nodded. 

 

“ Yes. They are all dead. No survivors, Hongbin made sure of that. We can’t take another risk this time. “

 

Taekwoon sighed, relieved. His kids were all safe. He accepted Wonshik’s offer to carry Hakyeon. He stood up with the unconscious man in his arms, waiting for Taekwoon to be able to stand up as well. 

 

“ Are you okay? Do you want me to ask Sanghyuk to carry you? “

 

Taekwoon considered it for a moment but decided to save his last remaining bit of pride and shook his head. 

 

“ I’m fine. let’s get back home. “

 

“ By home, you mean- “

 

Taekwoon nodded.

 

“ Yes. We all need serious rest, and we can’t do that when we’re on the sea, always having to be alert. “

 

Wonshik smiled.

 

“ Alright. I missed it. “

 


	10. awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted pictures of the place where they stay on twitter I hope you all saw them! I suck at describing...

Hakyeon slowly opened his eyes, feeling heavy and sore. He blinked twice, getting accustomed to the sunlight with difficulty. He tried to look around him, but he realized that he was laying on his stomach, making it hard to move. Facing him, was a stone wall. Or was it a single rock? Was he in a cave? No, there was a lot of sunlight. He tried to turn around but his entire body, especially his back,  screamed in pain; making him groan. 

 

He felt hands on his arms, helping him sit up. Once it was done, he raised his eyes to see Taekwoon’s calm but worried eyes. For once, he wasn’t wearing his mask and his hair wasn’t hiding his face. Suddenly, he remembered everything that had happened before he lost consciousness. He brought up his knees to his chest and put his arms around them, lowering his head and shivering. He refused to look at Taekwoon, hoping he could disappear. He didn’t want to accept reality. But he felt a hand gently stroking his hair. He didn’t move for a moment, trying to focus on the fingers in his hair; eventually relaxing a bit and stopping shivering. He raised his head and turned to finally dare to look at Taekwoon’s face, who moved his hand to caress his cheek. 

 

They didn’t talk. They didn’t need words. Taekwoon understood the pain in Hakyeon’s eyes, the bitter feeling of betrayal, being abandoned and left for dead by one’s own family. Hakyeon wanted to ask Taekwoon why he risked his life to save him, but he could read in his eyes how much he cared. That was enough. Hakyeon wished they could stay like this forever. Feeling understood but not having to talk about it. What would have happened if they had stayed like this for a longer time? They would never know because they were interrupted by a door opening, and a sobbing ball of energy ran toward Hakyeon to crush him into a tight hug, making Taekwoon step back.

 

‘’ Hakyeonnie, I’m so glad you’re awake! I was so worried! “

 

Hakyeon winced, the too energetic hug reminding him of his wound.

 

“ Aah, Jaehwan, I love you but- “

 

Before he could finish, Jaehwan felt fingers around his neck firmly grasping him and forcing him to release Hakyeon. 

 

“ Jaehwan, do not hurt my patient any further or I’ll hang you by your feet until dawn. “

 

Jaehwan, who had fallen to the floor, pouted at Hongbin who was still glaring at him, before turning his attention back to the man lying in the bed. He sat next to him and shoved a piece of bread in his mouth and a glass filled with water in his hands.

 

“ You’re lucky the wound wasn’t that deep, but you lost a lot of blood because your dumb ass kept moving and fighting instead of staying still. You need to eat a lot, understood? “

 

Hakyeon munched on the bread, looking at Hongbin with confusion. His tone was strict, but there wasn’t any hostility in it. He was even looking at him with worry in his big and expressive eyes. Wasn’t he mad at him? He seemed to understand his silent question and lowered his eyes as if what he was about to say was asking too much of him.

 

“ When… When I saw you lying on the ground, covered in blood, I felt so angry and hurt at the same time, as if that wound was mine. I realized how much I cared about you and how silly I was to be mad at you for such a stupid thing. For a moment… I thought I would never have the chance to apologize to you. I’m… I’m sorry, Hakyeon. You and Sanghyuk were right. I will think about what you two told me… “

 

Hakyeon quickly glanced at the others, who were watching the conversation with questioning looks on their faces. They seemed to be as surprised as him by this sudden confession. He put a hand on Hongbin’s arm, weakly smiling at him.

 

“ It’s okay, Hongbin. We will talk about it later. How…. How long did I slept? “

 

“ One week. Sometimes you would wake up, eat a little and drink, then fall asleep again. You don’t seem to remember that… “

 

Hakyeon shook his head. He had absolutely no memories of waking up since the attack.

 

He turned his head, hearing the sound of a door opening, and saw Sanghyuk and Wonshik entering. They were both wearing apologetic looks on their faces as if they were responsible for Hakyeon’s pain. He wanted to tell them that they didn’t need to feel bad, it wasn’t their fault, but the words stayed stuck in his throat, as tears threatened to fall. Taekwoon saw it and shared a glance with Wonshik. 

 

“ Did you talk about- “

 

“ Not now, Wonshik. Give him time. “

 

Then he looked at Hakyeon and came closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

 

“ Do you want us to leave? We can come back later. “

 

Hakyeon didn’t meet his eyes this time, he was afraid that if he did, he would start crying for real. He just nodded and waited until he was sure that everyone had left the room. Only then, he allowed himself to break down. He stayed curled up, sobbing and shaking. He couldn’t accept the truth. He couldn’t believe everyone had really abandoned him. He was alone.

 

_ You’re not alone. They came to take you and they saved you. _

 

At this thought, Hakyeon calmed down a bit and soon stopped shaking. He lied down in the bed and slid under the covers, suddenly feeling cold. He fell asleep, tears remaining on his cheeks, his dreams haunted by blood and cold metal against his skin.

 

When he woke up several hours later, the room was dark. His back hurt less and he was able to sit up easily. But he still felt empty and on the verge of crying. He let out a big sigh. He needed time. He was going to be alright.

 

_ First, focus on healing.  _

 

He looked around, hoping to find a sign of the other pirates, especially Hongbin, but he only found some food in a bowl and a glass of water on a nightstand next to his bed. He ate and drank, then started to look at his surroundings. As he had already noticed, the walls around him were all rock, even the bedhe was sitting on (the only exceptions were the mattress, the nightstand and some rugs on the floor, probably there to not feel the cold stone) as if he was in a cave but there was a window, letting in a cold draft. He shivered, realizing he wasn’t wearing anything except pants made from a thin fabric, probably cotton, that didn’t really keep him warm. He covered himself with the bed sheets before attempting to stand up. It took him a moment to be able to walk without wincing in pain. He probably should lie down and try to rest, but he was going crazy, rehashing depressing thoughts on his own. He needed to keep his mind busy. At first, he tried to just walk around the room, making sure he wouldn’t hurt himself  much. Then he opened the door, glancing down the corridor. He was afraid of finding only darkness, but he felt reassured to see oil lamps brightening the path. He walked slowly, looking around him for an exit or any information about where he was. 

 

“ You’re trying to run away? “

 

He jolted, almost dropping the sheet wrapped around his shoulders. He turned to face Sanghyuk who was smirking at him. 

 

“ I… I wasn’t trying to… “

 

The man in front of him chuckled, coming closer.

 

“ Don’t worry, I don’t care. You’re not our prisoner anymore. You’re free to leave whenever you want. But you should wait for your wound to heal, or else I’m afraid Hongbin might terminate you… “

 

Hakyeon smiled a little.

 

“ No, I swear, I wasn’t trying to leave. I just need some fresh air, I don’t feel that good, staying alone in that room and I’ve slept enough. “

 

Sanghyuk seemed to understand and took him by the elbow.

 

“ We can talk if you want, but I’ll bring you to a better place. You’re probably cold. “

 

Hakyeon nodded, allowing him to take the lead. They walked in silence, questions burning Hakyeon’s tongue, but suddenly he was feeling a little bit intimidated by the tall man. He remembered how he fought like a wild beast.

 

_ And what did you do? Were you any better?  _

 

He shook his head to dismiss this thought. He didn’t want to face that now. Finally, he realized that Sanghyuk had brought him to what looked like a kitchen. There was an oven carved into the rock, a wooden table with chairs and a couple cushions laying around. Against the walls, there were shelves filled with different dishes and food. Like the corridor, oil lamps illuminated the room. Sanghyuk helped Hakyeon sit carefully on a chair and proceeded to make some tea. Hakyeon waited for him to finish, placing his cold hands around the hot cup to warm them. Only then, he raised his head, meeting Sanghyuk’s eyes, who was watching him with a soft and almost caring expression. 

 

“ Thanks for the tea… I… Where are we? “

 

“ It’s nice, right? We call this place Home. We have a ship, but sometimes we need to rest when we’re wounded or just tired. This is the place where we hide all our wealth and things we’re attached to. We can’t leave them on our ship, we never know what could happen. No one knows about this place. It’s a deserted island with houses and caves dug in the rock, probably a long time ago, but no one lives here anymore. It’s safe. No one can find or hurt us, so you don’t need to worry. Just focus on healing. “

 

“ I see…. It seems pretty big… don’t you get lost?  “

 

Sanghyuk smiled at him, and his face looked like a puppy’s. When he was like this, he really reminded Hakyeon of an innocent and adorable child. He almost wanted to pet his head.

 

“ We don’t use all the rooms, and leave lamps lit all the time. If you look carefully, there are also some marks on the walls. “

 

Hakyeon nodded, sipping his tea. He recognized the smell and taste of one the plants Hongbin usually gave to Taekwoon to help him sleep. 

 

“ Out of topic but… Did Hongbin talk to you? “

 

Sanghyuk’s smile widened and his face brightened at the mention of his lover’s name.

 

“ Yeah, he told me that you and I were right and that he will think seriously about that! You know… It’s all thanks to you. Before, he wouldn’t even want to talk about that. “

 

“ I didn’t do anything, I just happened to find out that you two were secretly dating… “

 

“ I don’t think you realize. “

 

Hakyeon furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“ Realize what? “

 

“ What you’re doing to us. “

 

“ What.. What am I doing… ? “

 

Sanghyuk’s smile was still warm and reassuring. 

 

“ Since you’ve come into our lives, everyone has changed. Your pure and innocent soul changed us. Last time you were talking about howyour point of view about life and the world changed by meeting us but the same goes for us as well. You brought new pieces of knowledge. And you brought a new light to Taekwoon’s heart. “

 

Hakyeon nervously scratched the cup with his nails.

 

“ What do you mean? “

 

“ Before you came, Taekwoon would only focus on fighting and fulfilling his duty of being a captain. He would always have that sorrow on his face, barely laughing, talking only when it was necessary. Wonshik told me he had been like that since his face got burned. He carries the weight of the responsibility of taking care of all of us on his shoulders. Wonshik does his best to help him and take a little bit of that burden… but Taekwoon is stubborn. When you arrived… you made him feel new emotions. He started caring about himself more, even about his appearance. “

 

This time, Hakyeon blushed, clearing his throat. 

 

“ Uh… Really… I wonder why he’s like this just because of me… “

 

Sanghyuk smirked.

 

“ Yeah… I wonder too… But he’s not the only one who changed. Jaehwan looks happier, too; you’re the only one besides Wonshik who accepts his cuddles and endless talking. Hongbin also seems… less abrasive. It took him less time to accommodate to you than for Jaehwan. It’s like… you have a supernatural power. The power of loving and being loved. Because you care about us, right? That’s why you knocked down those planks, that day, during the attack. You didn’t want us to get involved and get hurt. “

 

“ Yes, that’s right. It’s easy for me to love people and give my trust. Well, it used to be easy. Now… I’ve been betrayed by those I trusted the most. My own family. I will never be the same again. “

 

He had lowered his head, hiding his shining eyes and broken voice, but felt fingers under his chin, gently making him look at the pirate again.

 

“ It’s going to be alright. Perhaps what has happened made you change, but I believe it won’t affect your heart. You’re kind, Hakyeon. You grew up loving unconscientious  people, even if you didn’t know it wasn’t mutual. It’s who you are. In the days you spent with us, you were always talking about how you value human life, and that made us think a lot about our behavior. “

 

‘’ But you were right, you were all right. You spared the life of this man, and he came back to kill you. To kill _ us _ . And did you see what I did to him? I’m a monster, Sanghyuk. You said I was innocent and pure but look at me. I have blood on my hands. How can I continue to defend my values? “

 

Sanghyuk moved to sit closer to Hakyeon, massaging his shoulder in order to relax him a bit. 

 

“ Hey, it’s going to be alright. The first kill is always difficult. Do you think Hongbin was unscathed after killing his own father? He had nightmares every night, crying and begging for forgiveness. Life is hard, Hakyeon. You learned it with a brutal lesson, but you need to fight if you want to live. It’s either kill or get killed. But that doesn’t mean you don’t value other’s lives. It’s a little bit difficult, but you will adjust in time. “

 

Hakyeon felt his muscles easing up and he let his head rest against Sanghyuk’s wide shoulder, sighing.

 

“ I should react to the fact that you just said “ first kill “as if there will be more. But I understand that I can’t avoid that, now that I left my comfortable and safe place forever. There will always be people after me, trying to silence me so my family can live in peace with my wealth… and I don’t want to give up. That’s not fair. I didn’t do anything wrong. I won’t lose, I will continue to fight to live until the very end. “

 

Sanghyuk started to gently stroke his hair.

 

“ You’re strong, Hakyeon. We saw it the first time we met. You were immediately brave, daring to be arrogant to us when you didn’t even know what we were capable of, and you even had the courage to hide your true identity for days. You’re amazing. “

 

Hakyeon felt comforted by those words. He still had trouble believing them, but it made his heart flutter a little. The sourness he’s been feeling since he woke up disappeared, replaced by fondness. 

 

“ Thanks, Sanghyuk. You’re a good kid. By the way… You said I made everyone change, but what about you? What did I change in you? “

 

He felt the hand in his hair freeze and Sanghyuk tense up a little. He hoped he hadn’t asked a stupid question and made him uncomfortable. 

 

“ Well… You know, I’m not really good with expressing my feelings, so it’s a little bit difficult to talk about that… “

 

“ You don’t have to. I only asked because I’m curious. “

 

“ No, it’s fine. I just need to find the right words… Alright. I think I should start by saying that for a long time, I thought about myself as a beast. I grew up alone in the streets, barely surviving until Hongbin found me. He’s really important to me, you know… He made me discover new feelings and made love bloom into my rough heart. I love him so much, I would do anything for him. But he wasn’t the best example to follow. We both grew up as wanderers and thieves, Taekwoon being too busy with trying to give us what was necessary to live. When Jaehwan came in, he tried to set some rules, to teach us some things, like cleaning and being organized, but if Hongbin quickly learned and understood, applying everything he showed him, I never had the patience to do it. At that moment, I had really low self confidence, I thought I should just be a beast, the strongest warrior of the crew, nothing more. I wasn’t human, and I didn’t want to be. You’re the first one who made me feel like a person. “

 

Hakyeon didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected such a confession. He never really had the opportunity to have a serious and deep talk with Sanghyuk who seemed to avoid him as much as possible. It was probably because he considered that as a weakness. He just stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue. 

 

“ When you arrived… You weren’t afraid of me. Well, perhaps you were. But you were strong enough not to show it. Before that, no one else had dared to talk to me like you did, scolding me like a child. “

 

He wanted to tell him that he was a child, but he didn’t want to interrupt him.

 

“ Even if we weren’t really close before, you always treated me the same way that you treated the others. And your presence was warm, calming. Having you by our side made us feel good and relaxed. Suddenly, we were more enthusiastic at the idea of eating together. You have the power of bonding us together, despite the fact that we grew up together and we didn’t know you for a long time, we gave you our trust without even realizing it. We, bloody, merciless pirates, rough and dirty, wanted you to look at us, to talk to us with your honey voice. “

 

_ Ho-honey voice? What was that?  _

 

“ I’m sorry, I hope everything I said made sense… You see, even now, you’re making me talk about all these things I was feeling about myself that i kept bottled up. “

 

“ You mean… You never talked about it with anyone?? “

 

He turned his head toward him, shocked. How was that possible? When he wasn’t feeling good, when he would doubt himself, he would always talk about it with Amber. For him, it was unbelievable that someone never ever talked about stuff like that with anyone.

 

“ I told you, I’m not good with feelings and deep conversations… “

 

Hakyeon sighed, sliding an arm around his shoulder ( for a moment, he thought his arm would be too short to reach the opposite shoulder).

  
  
  
  


“ Listen, you’re dating Hongbin, right. He’s your lover, your everything. You can talk to him when you have too many feelings darkening your mind. It's important for a couple to communicate. Perhaps he’s not telling you, but he must be worried that you’re not telling him anything.”

 

Sanghyuk took a moment to think about what he said, trying to understand it, then nodded. 

 

“ I think you have a point. I should consider this… But at the same time, Hongbin isn’t communicating either! Something about making our relationship public worries him and he doesn’t want to talk about it! “

 

Hakyeon rolled his eyes to the sky. These kids were impossible.

 

“ One of you has to start at some point. You can’t keep going like this, pretending that you don’t need to talk just because the other isn’t doing it. “

 

Sanghyuk was about to answer when they were interrupted by someone barging into the room, making both of them jumping on their chairs. As soon as Hakyeon recognized Taekwoon, he backed away from Sangyuk. He didn’t even know why he did that. That was stupid, they weren’t doing anything wrong. 

 

“ Finally, you’re here! I looked after you everywhere! I was so worried when I saw your room empty. “

 

He was worried about him? At the point of running everywhere, breathless? Sanghyuk stood up, followed by Hakyeon. 

 

“ Hey Taekwoon, chill, relax, he’s fine. He’s not going to fly away out of the windows. He just woke up and couldn’t sleep so I brought him here to give him some tea. “

 

“ You should have told me first. “

 

“ Don’t be stupid. For once you were sleeping, I couldn’t wake you up. “

 

“ But- “

 

“ Huh, guys, excuse me but do I not have a say? Taekwoon, I appreciate your concern but I’m fine, Sanghyuk was with me. I’m not going anywhere.  “

 

Taekwoon seemed to calm down, coming closer to Hakyeon to hold his hand. 

 

“ Are you sure that you’re alright? You’re not wearing warm clothes and your wounds aren’t healed yet… “

 

Hakyeon nodded, softly smiling to him. 

 

“ Yeah, I know I should have stayed in bed but I didn’t want to be alone with my dark thoughts. “

 

Taekwoon blushed and looked at the floor.

 

“ Do you want me to… sleep with you? I mean, to stay with you in your room, so you won’t be alone? “

 

Hakyeon felt his cheeks heating up, but for some reason, he didn’t hate that proposition. So he shyly nodded, tightening his grip around Taekwoon’s big hands.

 

“ Yes, please, if you don’t mind… “

 

He tried his best to ignore the gagging sounds Sanghyuk was making behind them.

  
  


_______

  
  


Once he was sure that Hakyeon was safe in Taekwoon’s hands, Sanghyuk returned to his room, where he knew Hongbin was sleeping. As expected he found the man curled in his bed, peacefully sleeping. He opened his eyes when Sanghyuk sat next to him after taking off his shoes. Sanghyuk looked at him with a loving gaze while pushing some strands of hair out of his face. 

 

“ Where were you? I was waiting for you. “

 

“ Just checking if Hakyeon was alright. “

 

“ And? “

 

“ I found him wandering in the corridors, and gave him some tea. He looked fine, despite what happened. We had a long talk. “

 

Suddenly, Hongbin was curious. He came to sit across Sangyuk’s lap, head resting on his chest.

 

“ What did you talk about, dear? “

 

How much he loved when his sweet Hongbin allowed himself to be fragile and small in his arms. He knew that it was his privilege to know this side of Hongbin and was proud of it. He closed his muscular arms around his lover as if he was afraid he might run away. 

 

“ Well… we talked about him, about his impact on all of us… We talked about me, too...“

 

Hongbin snorted. 

 

“ And what did you tell him that you won’t tell me? “

 

Sanghyuk bit his lower lip. Of course, Hongbin knew that he was hiding a lot of things from him. For a moment, Sanghyuk almost changed his mind. Being honest was so difficult. It was so hard, to tell your loved one what was wrong with your mind, even harder than with someone he just met like Hakyeon. But after taking a look at Hongbin’s questioning face, he remembered once again how much he adored him. He wanted to build a more solid relationship.

 

“ Well… I told him how before meeting him, I didn’t feel human… how he brightened my soul. “

 

He felt Hongbin tense in his arms.

 

“ What do you mean. Wasn’t I enough for you? “

 

“ No no, love, that’s not what I meant. I feel so thankful to have you by my side. You made me discover life, I was reborn again with you. I know I usually don’t express my feelings, but I hope you know how much I care for and love you. What I’m saying… Is that Hakyeon made me feel something different, from the first moment I laid an eye on him. And don’t pretend he doesn’t have an effect on you, Hongbin, I know he does. “

 

Hongbin scrunched up his nose and pouted. He was so adorable like this that Sanghyuk couldn’t resist and lowered his head to peck his lips. Hongbin blushed and hid his head in Sanghyuk’s neck. Sanghyuk chuckled, deciding to continue to talk.

 

“ You know… it’s hard to tell you how bad i feel sometimes. I don’t know why. Perhaps because I’m afraid it might hurt you… “

 

Hongbin raised his head, finally meeting his eyes.

 

“ I think… I think I understand. I can’t blame you for not telling me, after all, I’m the same. “

 

“ Beannie, do you want to talk about what’s disturbing you? Why you’re afraid to tell the others about us? “

 

“ I’m scared, Hyuk. What if you stop loving me because of that? “

 

“ Oh no, my beautiful darling, how could I? “

 

“ You promise me that you won’t hate me? “

 

Sanghyuk nodded. He could never, looking at him, so fragile, at the verge of tears in his arms, he loved him so much it was burning him.

 

“ Alright so… It’s about Wonshik. Please don’t be mad at me. You know that my heart is yours but… I don’t know why, that time, when he told me he was moving on, I felt weird. As if I didn’t want him to forget about me. I don’t know why I feel that way, Sanghyuk. Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? I don’t deserve you, I- “

 

Sanghyuk interrupted him with a kiss on his lips. 

 

“ Shhh, my love. It’s alright. You don’t have to worry, it’s alright. I’m not mad you. What can I do if your heart is made to love more than one person? “

 

“ But Sanghyuk, is that okay? It’s not normal… “

 

Sanghyuk laughed once again, still caressing his lover’s face.

 

“ We are far from being normal, Hongbin. We’re already pirates and gay. “

 

Hongbin managed to smile, showing his adorable dimples that was making his heart melt. 

 

“What if Wonshik hates me for dating you? Or worse, what if that makes him completely move on? I’m selfish, Sanghyuk. I want him to keep loving me when I already love you so much. “

 

“ It’s alright, you’re not selfish. I told you, you can love more than one person. I have to admit, I never thought about sharing that love. But in this world, I learned that everything is possible. We will figure this out, my dear. Perhaps it might take time to understand our feelings, but remember that I love you, alright? “

 

Hongbin nodded and finally seemed to relax. After some time, his regular breathing indicated that he had fallen asleep. Sanghyuk stayed like that for a moment, holding his love while meditating about the discussion they just had. He acted cool and relaxed about that to not stress out his lover more, but if he was being honest with himself, it was making him panic a little, knowing Hongbin couldn’t choose between him and that damn Wonshik. He couldn’t understand why he had to love both of them. How was it possible? But he didn’t want to lose Hongbin. He needed to try and understand. He also needed to talk with Hakyeon. He didn’t know why, but talking with him felt like it would solve all his problems. And tonight, he discovered that he liked this kind of talk with him.

  
  


______

  
  


Despite the tea, Hakyeon had a  difficult time falling asleep. First of all, there was Taekwoon’s presence in the room. He knew the man was sitting somewhere, a candle lit next to him. He didn’t know what he was doing but he didn’t know how to look at him. That would be too weird. He didn’t need to know what he was doing, he was supposed to sleep. 

 

The second reason preventing him from sleeping was his conversation with Sanghyuk. It was the first time they really had the opportunity to talk, and he didn’t know he had such thoughts about him. He felt guilty, too. He had considered him to be a beast before they talked. He didn’t know that solid appearance was hiding such a soft spirit. He couldn’t forget his sweet words about him. He wasn’t really used to people complimenting him, and just thinking about it made his heart go faster. 

 

Finally, he decided that it was useless to pretend to sleep, it was getting ridiculous. He sat up and looked in Taekwoon’s direction. The man was sitting on the floor, with his back to him, bent down on something that Hakyeon couldn’t identify. He stood up quietly and came behind him.

 

“ What are you doing? “

 

“ I’m drawing. “

 

Hakyeon looked above Taekwoon’s shoulder, noticing the ink bottle next to him. Taekwoon was so concentrated on what he was painting that he didn’t even raise his head when Hakyeon sat next to him, watched what Taekwoon was drawing… and nearly had a heart attack.

 

“ That’s uh- interesting? “

 

_ That’s monstrous. I’m going to have nightmares. What is it supposed to be? _

 

“ Really? The others always make fun of me and say it’s horrible.”

 

_ And they aren’t wrong _ . 

 

“ Well… If you like it, that’s the most important thing. “

 

“ I don’t really like how it looks once I’m done. But I like drawing and painting. It’s relaxing and it clears my mind. “

 

He stopped for a moment and looked at Hakyeon, handing him a brush.

 

“ If you’re struggling to sleep, perhaps you should try? “

 

Hakyeon nodded and took the tool and a piece of paper. He wasn’t really good at it either, but after a moment, he realized that Taekwoon was right. Soon, he felt less tense and his mind wasn’t filled by too many unnecessary thoughts anymore. Neither of them were talking, both too focused on what they were doing. But eventually, Taekwoon’s soft voice rose again, as he was still painting.

 

“ Hum, Hakyeon… I wanted to tell you… I should probably wait a little bit but I really want to know… “

 

Hakyeon stopped his movements, staring at Taekwoon.

 

“ Yes? Ask whatever you want. “

 

“ Well… What are you going to do, now? “

 

Hakyeon froze, not knowing what to say. As his answer took some time to come, Taekwoon put down his brush and looked at Hakyeon.

 

“ I know it might be a little sudden, but you will have to make a choice at some point. You can choose to go back to a normal life, and we will help you have a new identity, some money, we will help you find a nice town and you could start over. Start a new life. “

 

Hakyeon tried to think about it. Living alone, in an unknown town, easy target for bullies, thieves or even normal people? He finally shook his head.

 

“ I don’t think I could get back to a normal life again. I… I’ve been too disgusted by other humans. I wouldn’t feel safe anywhere. My aunt and uncle might even send people to find me and kill me…  “

 

Hakyeon averted his eyes, suddenly feeling like Taekwoon’s eyes were burning into his soul.

 

“ I’ve been tainted, Taekwoon. I killed someone. How could I start over and pretend nothing happened? I can’t do that. I don’t want to be alone anymore. “

  
  


“ Then… Hakyeon, would you join us? Would you become a pirate? “

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about what happened in that chapter? I'm curious if you can guess what their relationships will be...


	11. Absinthe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanghyuk, Wonshik and Hongbin are having a deep emotional talk while Taekwoon, Hakyeon and Jaehwan are being crackheads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the gay shits

That night, Sanghyuk struggled to fall asleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Hongbin had told him. At first, he felt bitter, thinking that Hongbin couldn’t choose between Wonshik and him and even hid that from him maybe for years. But after, he thought that perhaps it was his fault. Maybe he didn’t love him enough. Maybe he did something wrong. It was with an agitated heart that he finally fell asleep. 

 

When he woke up the next morning and found Hongbin’s painfully peaceful expression next to him, still in the dreamland, he immediately forgot his worries. He started the day with new hopes. Before thinking further on this, he had to talk to Wonshik. He didn’t really know what he was expecting from that talk. He just felt like he had to do that to feel completely better. He let Hongbin sleep and left him after a chaste kiss on his forehead.

 

He started to look for Hakyeon. He wanted to check on him. But when he entered his room, he found him still asleep… in Taekwoon’s arms. He felt something strange in his heart. He was glad that these two were getting along well, and Hakyeon was making Taekwoon feel better, that was undeniable. Yet he couldn’t be fully happy with what he was seeing.

 

_ Focus on Hongbin, you bastard. _

 

He tried to look for Jaehwan but he was nowhere to be found, so he quickly gave up and went into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of tea. He started sipping it slowly until he finally decided that he should go find Wonshik. He started to check his room, but to his surprise it was empty. He was surprised, it was early in the morning and usually, Wonshik would sleep until noon. He went outside, wandering a little bit among the rocks. The only flaw of their home was that there weren't any trees or plants. 

 

Finally, carried by the wind, he heard a sound that he had never heard before. It was a melody, sad and melancholic, played by a string instrument. He couldn’t tell which one, he didn’t know much about music. He followed the sound which led him to Wonshik. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing the sea. On his lap was a weird instrument that Sanghyuk hadn’t seen before. From what he could see, it was a big plank with seven strings on it. Wonshik had his eyes half closed and was slowly moving his head to the rhythm of the song he was playing, humming with his deep voice. His long grey hair was flying in the wind of the sea. Despite the sad song, his expression was calm and peaceful, relaxed. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Sanghyuk almost had tears in his eyes. He almost wanted to leave so he wouldn’t have to stop playing. But Wonshik eventually noticed his presence and turned his head toward him, his finger stopping above the instrument. He blushed, and Sanghyuk averted his eyes, embarrassed as if he was interrupting an intimate moment. Wonshik cleared his throat, gesturing him to sit next to him. As Sanghyuk moved to follow his silent order, he took a closer look at the instrument on his lap. Wonshik saw his curious glance and smiled softly.

 

“ It’s a guqin. “

 

Sanghyuk looked at him in surprise.

 

“ A what? “

 

“ A guqin. It’s a Chinese instrument. “

 

“ I didn’t know you could play that… When did you learn? “

 

Sanghyuk had to admit, he was a little bit surprised. He hadn’t known that Wonshik was capable of that. He always saw him as the manly and strong warrior who only liked to fight and show off his big muscles. The fact that he was always strutting around shirtless didn’t help. How could he guess that he had such poetic side? He realized that how he saw Wonshik was absolutely how people saw him. For a moment, he was disgusted by himself. When Wonshik confessed to Hongbin a few years ago, he distanced himself from him, seeing him as a rival. Only now, he understood how stupid he was. His train of dark thoughts was cut by Wonshik’s deep voice rising in the cold morning.

 

“ You know that until I was 8 years old, I was a slave in a big mansion with Taekwoon. There was an old man who used to play this, and he taught me a bit. “

 

“ But… You were really young, how could you know how to play that well? “

 

Wonshik laughed, embarrassed, and scratched the back of his head.

 

“ Well, my master told me I was talented… I was a fast learner, and after that, I tried to practice as much as I could. It’s a bit difficult on my own so I’m not really good… “

 

His friend was a gifted guqin player and he had no idea when they had practically grown up together? 

 

“ That’s… That’s amazing, Wonshik. And I think you’re really good at it. Why did you hide it from us? “

 

Wonshik shrugged, caressing the strings of the instrument.

 

“ I don’t know, I’m not really confident about it, and it’s like my secret garden. When I play, I feel like all my problems and worries disappear. It’s almost like I’m flying through the sky. “

 

Sanghyuk nodded, eyes lost in the sea in front of them. 

 

“ I see… I’m sorry I broke that moment… “

 

“ It’s fine. I couldn’t hide this from you forever, right? And you were looking for me? Do you have… something to tell me? “

 

Sanghyuk hesitated. He almost forgot why he was there in the first place. 

 

“ Huh, yes… How do I say this… “

 

“ Take your time. We’re not in a hurry. “

 

Was Wonshik always so calm and reassuring? Sanghyuk couldn’t even remember when the last time they had a serious talk was, just the two of them.

 

“ Well… you see, one of my friends is in a relationship with a person. But this person loves someone else. They still love each other though. The situation is kind of weird, and my friend doesn’t really know what to do. What do you think about relationships with more than two people? “

 

Sanghyuk didn’t even want to look into his eyes. He was afraid he might say something stupid and fuck everything up. Wonshik took a moment to think about it, and started talking again with the same tone.

 

“ You mean, something like polyamory? “

 

“ Wait, you know that? Does it have a name? Do you already… “

 

Sanghyuk eyed him and saw the man blushing and shaking his head.

 

“ No no, I never experienced it! Taemin talked about it with me once. “

 

“ Oh, really? “

 

“ Yeah, you might be surprised, but Taemin isn’t only a prostitute. For the most part, he’s a really good friend and we often have deep talks. “

 

He couldn’t even deny it. That was exactly what he was thinking… 

 

“ So, uhh, what did he say about it? “

 

“ He just mentioned it, actually. But if you want my opinion about it, I don’t see how it is different from a ‘normal’ couple. It’s just people in love with each other in the end. “

 

“ But… Do they love each other equally? “

 

“ I’m not sure it’s about loving equally. I think they love each other in different ways. Sharing a lover… No. That term doesn’t fit. It’s more about adding. Completing. “

 

Sanghyuk took a moment to think about it. 

 

“ Mmmh, I think I’m starting to understand. “

 

Did he value Wonshik enough to trust him in such a relationship? And more importantly… 

 

“ Can it be more than three people? “

 

Wonshik again had that deep and contagious laugh that made Sanghyuk smile a bit and finally look at his face.

 

“ Of course, Hyogie! You know, love doesn’t have limits. “

 

Sanghyuk and Wonshik looked at each other eyes, not saying anything, as if one of them was expecting something from the other. But in the end, they both averted their eyes, and Sanghyuk stood up.

 

“ Uh, alright, I think I have the answers to all of my questions. I mean, to my friend’s questions. I will… I need to go now. “

 

“ Alright. It was nice talking to you, Sanghyuk. It’s been a long time. If.... If you have something else to tell me, don’t hesitate. “

 

Sanghyuk nodded, and they shared a last glance before he left. As he was walking away, he could hear the melancholic notes of the guqin rising. 

  
  
  


________

  
  


How did he end up in this position? Why was Hakyeon laying in his arms, preventing him from moving? Taekwoon felt his heart beat faster as he remembered what happened the night before.

 

He had proposed Hakyeon to join the crew, to become a pirate. After that, Hakyeon told him he needed time to think about it and went to bed, a little bit confused and troubled. Then… why was he there? That didn’t make any sense. Ah, right. He was almost falling asleep on the floor and Hakyeon gently woke him up with his charming voice, telling him that if he was sleepy he could sleep beside him… And his stupid and half asleep ass really did it. He slept with Hakyeon. Literally. 

 

_ Oh fuck. No.  _

 

He tried to move; perhaps if he left before Hakyeon woke up he could pretend it never happened… But as soon as he made a movement, Hakyeon groaned in his sleep and came even closer to him, his face hidden in his chest. 

 

_ Oh no. It became even worse.  _

 

Taekwoon felt like he was about to die, and he was pissed because he felt like this when there was no fucking reason to. They were just two bros that happened to sleep in the same bed by accident. No homo. Just guys being dudes. Nothing more. He had absolutely no reason to feel butterflies in his stomach as he felt Hakyeon’s warm body against his, fitting in his arms like it was their fate. He also had no reason to wrap one arm around the shoulders of the fragile man and play with his long hair, his lips resting on his forehead.

 

_ Then why am I doing exactly that? What the fuck, Jung Taekwoon? Are you sick?  _

 

“ Hum, Taekwoon? “

 

“ I’M NOT GAY OKAY! “

 

He couldn’t help but yell those words as soon as he heard Hakyeon’s voice who had opened his eyes and was looking at him with a questioning look in his eyes. He quickly pushed the man away, blushing furiously. 

 

“ I’m sorry, last night I was out of place, I crossed a line, I never should have done that, I was really tired and- “

 

Hakyeon placed a finger on his -dry- lips, stopping his blabbering.

 

“ Shush. What are you talking about? It’s perfectly fine. It’s my fault, after all, I’m the one who asked you to stay with me. I couldn’t let you sleep on the cold and hard ground, right? And by the way, you slept well, didn’t you? “

 

Taekwoon took a moment to think about it. That was true. For once, he didn’t have any problems falling asleep and didn’t even have nightmares. He shyly nodded, his head lowered. 

 

“ See? We should do that more often if it helps you have a relaxing night! I’m even more useful than Hongbin’s plants! He’s going to be sooo jealous! Do you think he would make tea of my body to test it?  Oh my God, can you imagine it, the chatea? “

 

Taekwoon looked at him in confusion. The day before, he was moping around, a sad look on his face and at the verge of crying, and now he was cheerful and talking nonsenses as if nothing happened? Was he high or what? 

 

“ Uhh Hakyeon? What was in the tea that Sanghyuk gave you yesterday? “

 

Hakyeon burst out laughing as if Taekwoon had told him the funniest thing ever.

 

“ What do you meaaan? It was really amaziiiing tea!!!! I want a hundred of them! “

 

Okay. He was definitely high. He sighed, rolling his eyes to the sky. 

 

_ Han fucking Sanghyuk. I’m going to murder you, and you’re not even ready for what Hongbin is going to do to your dirty ass. _

 

He stood up, carefully lifting Hakyeon by the arm.

 

“ Can you walk? “

 

“ Of course I can walk! I can jump! I can run! I can FLY! “

 

He tried to escape to make a demonstration but Taekwoon was holding him firmly. 

 

“ Stay still, please. We’re going to see Hongbin, just walk like a decent human it will be good enough. “

 

Hakyeon whined, muttering something about being able to fly but Taekwoon chose to ignore him. He wasn’t going to argue with a high Hakyeon. They started walking down the corridor when suddenly, Hakyeon stopped. Taekwoon looked at him with a worried glance. 

 

“ Is everything alright? “

 

“ Taekwoonie, you’re so pretty! “

 

Taekwoon became as red as a tomato hearing the nickname and the compliment. 

 

“ What are you talking about? You’re high, Hakyeon, you don’t know what you’re saying. “

 

“ No, really! You’re the prettiest guy I’ve ever met! And you’re so nice and caring! I think I might fall in love with you if you continue like this. “

 

Taekwoon’s jaw dropped wide open, not knowing how to answer, his brain stopping all functions. What just happened. Hakyeon took that opportunity to close the distance between them and before Taekwoon could do anything, he pecked his lips. Taekwoon felt his heart stop. That was it. He was going to die.

 

But the soft lips were gone as fast as they had come, and Hakyeon was giggling, freeing himself from Taekwoon’s grip, who was too shaken to hold him back. He ran down the corridor, taking advantage of Taekwoon who was having a mental breakdown… To be stopped by Jaehwan few meters later.

 

“ Hello, princess, where are you running like that? “

 

Hakyeon, still laughing, put his hands around Jaehwan’s tiny waist, making him raise an eyebrow. 

 

“ Huh, is everything alright? Did something happen? “

 

“ You’re not that bad either. You’re actually really pretty, especially your beautiful lips. Of course, you’re not as gorgeous as Hongbinnie, but his level is unreachable. “

 

Finally, he saw Taekwoon emerging from the end of the corridor, looking like his soul had left his body, pale and shaking. 

 

“ Huh why do I have a flirty Hakyeon holding me tight- ouch Hakyeon! I’m going to bruise! What the fuck- “

 

He stopped when he saw a weird look on Hakyeon’s face as he was biting his lower lip.

 

“ Perfect. “

 

“ Excuse me?? “

 

Taekwoon sighed, relieved, as he regained some color. Alright. It wasn’t only to him. He was flirting with everyone he could put a hand on. Still no homo. 

 

“ Hakyeon, please, let Jaehwan breath and come with me, we have to find Hongbin. “

 

“ What happened, Taekwoon? Why is he like this? I mean, it’s not like I’m complaining- “

 

Taekwoon glared at him.

 

“ He’s just high on something he drank before sleeping. I think Sanghyuk accidentally gave him the wrong plants in his tea. I hope for his sake, that it’s an accident. “

  
  
  


________

  
  


Sanghyuk found Hongbin slowly waking up, adorably pouting as he rubbed his eyes with his hands. He sat on the bed and kissed his cheek as a greeting.

 

“ Hello, love. Did you sleep well? “

 

Hongbin smiled at him, still groggy. 

 

“ I think. How can I sleep badly when I’m in your arms? “

 

Sanghyuk cherished these moments in the morning, when Hongbin wasn’t fully awake and was being cheesy. He softly kissed his lips, again and again, until every trace of sleepiness left Hongbin, who was now looking at him with sparkling eyes. 

 

“ Are we having morning activities? “

 

Sanghyuk smirked, his hands crossed behind Hongbin’s neck. 

 

“ Perhaps. I don’t know, were you a good boy? “ 

 

Hongbin immediately knew where this was heading and tilted his head to the side, obviously asking for another kiss. 

 

“ Of course I was. “

 

“ You’re always so good for me… “

 

He kissed him again but it wasn’t sweet and innocent anymore. This kiss was filled with lust and desire. Hongbin parted his lips a little, allowing the other to deepen the kiss, their tongues meeting as their hands reacher for each other, holding their clothes almost desperately, silently expressing their want to get rid of them. 

 

“ Hongbin, we need your help! “

 

They jumped, immediately moving away, Sanghyuk rolling on the floor and Hongbin hiding under his covers so they couldn’t see his flushed cheeks and swollen red lips just as Jaehwan, Hakyeon and Taekwoon were entering the room. They barely spared a glance to Sanghyuk, apparently too focused on what they wanted to ask to Hongbin.

  
  


“ You’re still sleeping? Wake up, we really need you! “

 

Hongbin waited a moment for his body to calm down and to be able to think properly before facing them. After composing himself, he kicked off his covers, not having to fake being upset.

 

“ What do you want? I hope you have a good fucking reason to disturb me or else you’re going to taste the cold caress of my blades. “

 

“ Uh, we wouldn’t have came if it wasn’t important… Hakyeon, come here. “

 

Jaehwan didn’t need to say that, actually. Hakyeon was already walking toward Hongbin, throwing his arms around the man’s waist and hugging him tightly. 

 

“ Hongbiiiin! My favorite boy, you’re handsome! “

 

“ Okay, what happened. “

 

He tried to get out Hakyeon’s tentacles, without any success. He was apparently stronger than he looked. Taekwoon glared at Sanghyuk, who was watching the scene with intrigue. 

 

“ Yesterday Sanghyuk gave him some tea but I think he made a mistake somewhere. Hakyeon won’t stop flirting with everyone he can lay a hand on. “

 

Hongbin looked at Sanghyuk, smirking. 

 

“ What did you give to him, Hyogie. “

 

“ I swear I’m sure that I gave him a relaxing tea! “

 

Hongbin sighed and painfully stood up, Hakyeon still glued to him. 

 

“ Alright, Sanghyuk, come with me and show me what you used. “

 

Taekwoon and Jaehwan started following them, but Hongbin stopped them. 

 

“ Your presence isn’t required. “

 

“ But- “

 

“ Taekwoon, that means: stay here and don’t embarrass us. “

 

Taekwoon crossed his arms on his chest, slightly pouting, as he was left behind with Jaehwan, who wasn’t any happier than him.

 

“ That’s not fair. Did you hear Hongbin talking to Sanghyuk? He even gave him a pet name. Why is he nice to him? “

  
  
  


________

  
  


“ Sanghyuk, you’re dumb. That’s Artemisia absinthium. Not jasmine tea. “

 

“ What’s the difference? It’s the same, no? “

 

Hongbin rolled his eyes to the sky, examining Hakyeon as he was giggling and bouncing on his feet back and forth. His pupils were dilated and his tongue furred.

 

“ You’re lucky it’s not dangerous, he’s just high and will need some time to recover his normal state. Hakyeon, listen to me, you have to drink a lot of water, alright? “

 

Hakyeon nodded, but Hongbin wasn’t sure if he understood anything. He sighed, turning to Sanghyuk.

 

“ We can’t leave him alone. Someone has to keep an eye on him until the poison leaves his body. “

 

“ Let’s take him to Jaehwan and Taekwoon, then. “

 

“ What about Wonshik? Where is he anyway? “

 

Sanghyuk looked away, clearing his throat. 

 

“ About that… I had a talk with him earlier… we need to discuss something. “

 

Hongbin froze. What had happened? Was it about what he had told him the night before? Was he angry at Wonshik? Or perhaps… perhaps he wanted to break up, because Hongbin wasn’t able to choose between the two men. That thought made his heart sting.

 

“ Hey baby, is everything alright? “

 

Sanghyuk was looking at him with a worried face, noticing his panicked expression. He gently stroked his cheek, trying to ignore Hakyeon’s kissing sounds in the background.

 

“ Don’t worry, my love, I won’t leave you. I love you too much for that. “

 

It was as if he was reading his mind. Hongbin weakly smiled, meeting his soft and loving eyes. At this moment, he knew his worries were stupid. He was loved. He wasn’t going to be abandoned. It was a certainty. 

 

“ Alright, let’s move somewhere more… private. “

 

Hongbin chuckled, glancing at Hakyeon who was cooing at them.

 

“ Awww, you two are so adorable, can I have a kiss? Pleaaase! “

 

“ Not as long as you’re like this, Hakyeon. I don’t kiss men drunk with absinthe. “

 

Sanghyuk was scolding him like a child and somehow, Hongbin found that adorable. He smiled softly as Sanghyuk grabbed Hakyeon by the waist, throwing him across his shoulder. 

 

“ Alright, let’s drop ‘that’ to Taekwoon then we can finally have some privacy. “

  
  


________

  
  


In the end, they were able to have that intimate moment only when evening came. The whole day, they had to take care of a euphoric Hakyeon and an exhausted Taekwoon who, for some reason, looked out of his mind. Jaehwan wasn’t helping at all, almost in the same state as Hakyeon while being totally sober, and Wonshik was nowhere to be found. When they were finally alone, Sanghyuk brought Hongbin to their room and looked at the bed with desire. He just wanted to sleep right now. He wasn’t able to sleep much the previous night, and the day had drained him. He sat on the floor, at Hongbin’s feet who was sitting on the bed. He placed a hand on his thigh, silently asking for his lover to look at him. 

 

“ So… Hongbin… about our talk yesterday… “

 

Hongbin nodded, his heart beating a little faster than usual. He knew Sanghyuk loved him, but that didn’t make him any less anxious about what he was trying to say.

 

“ I talked with Wonshik. I didn’t say that we’re together, I just… asked his opinion about being in a relationship with more than two people… “

 

“ What do you mean? “

 

“ Well, since apparently, you love both Wonshik and me, I realized I can’t ask you to choose. That’s too cruel. I trust you enough to know you love me unconditionally. You loving Wonshik doesn't make our bond invalid. He told me about something called polyamory and said there was nothing wrong with loving more than one person. I think that would suit us, Hongbin. What do you think about it? We could… be the three of us. Wonshik, you and me. I thought about it and somehow, I don’t feel weird about it. “

 

Hongbin stayed silent for a moment. He had never really envisaged that possibility. That looked… too perfect. 

 

“ But Sanghyuk… What if Wonshik doesn’t want to? I’m not even sure he still loves me, and even if that was the case… What about you? “

 

“ We can’t know if we don’t ask, Hongbin. I just brought up the idea… thinking that perhaps you would be okay with it. “

 

Hongbin nodded immediately. 

 

“ Yes! I want that, Sanghyuk. But what if…. “

 

“ Don’t make any assumptions. We just have to ask him. Do you want me to bring him here so we can hear his opinion? “

 

“ ...Yes, please. Do it. “

 

Sanghyuk stood up and ruffled Hongbin’s hair.

 

“ Alright, wait for me. I’ll be back in a moment. “

 

He left the room and Hongbin waited. He felt like it was an eternity. An eternity asking himself if this was the right choice, if they weren’t going to fuck up everything, if they could just forget about it. But when Wonshik entered the room with Sanghyuk, Hongbin knew it was too late to go back. He kept his eyes on the ground as if there was something particularly interesting there. The other two stood up in front of him. He felt the heavy atmosphere, but couldn’t bring himself to say a word. Eventually, Sanghyuk knew he had to do it.

 

“ So, Wonshik, I brought you here because uh… We have something to tell you… Actually, Hongbin and I, we’re uh… “

 

“ What? You’re finally going to tell me that you two are fucking each other? “

 

Hongbin lifted his head, looking at him in confusion.

 

“ What? Do you… Did you know everything? “

 

“ Of course. You weren’t being super discrete, you know. I understood there was something when I confessed to you. After that, Sanghyuk looked at me differently. Like a rival. As if I was going to steal you. So yeah, sorry to disappoint. Wonshik is not as stupid you wished he was. “

 

His tone was bitter, with a tinge of sadness. Sanghyuk and Hongbin couldn’t find anything to say. They weren’t expecting that at all. 

 

“ So what? You made me come to rub it in my face? To make sure I won’t interfere? Be reassured. I’m not going to do anything to steal your precious jewel, Sanghyuk. Now if you excuse me. “

 

He left the room with heavy footsteps, and Hongbin looked at Sanghyuk with wide eyes. 

 

“ Sanghyuk, we- “

 

“ I know. I’m going to get him. Don’t worry. “

 

He followed Wonshik, almost running to catch up to him. He found him outside. 

 

“ Wonshik, wait! “

 

He turned around and Sanghyuk noticed his clenched jaw and sparkling eyes.

 

“ Wait… You’re crying? “

 

Wonshik quickly rubbed his eyes, trying to erase every proof of his feelings that were betraying him. 

 

“ No. It’s nothing. It’s just a mosquito, there are a lot of them lately. “

 

Sanghyuk took his hand, holding it firmly. 

 

“ Listen Wonshik, you didn’t wait for us to finish. We want… We want you. Remember our talk this morning? It was about us. Hongbin loves you, Wonshik. He needs you. Please. “

 

Wonshik couldn’t believe what he was saying. His first love, the man who haunted his dreams, the man who rejected him, was in love with him? How was it possible? 

 

“ But… Sanghyuk, what about you? I thought you hated the idea of me having feelings for Hongbin… “

 

“ I did. That’s true. But somehow, when Hongbin told me that he couldn’t forget you, when he admitted that he loved you more than a friend, I felt reassured. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it. I just… You’re also precious to me, Wonshik. I don’t want to lose you. “

 

The man was absolutely moved by this confession. Was he dreaming? Was he about to wake up and have all of this disappear? He didn’t want to wake up. He wanted to live in this dream forever. But if that was true…

 

“ Sanghyuk… What if I’m… What if we aren’t enough for Hongbin? “

 

The tall man shot him a warm smile, interlacing their fingers.

 

“ It will be alright Wonshik. We will do our best to love and cherish Hongbin, that’s all. We don’t need to worry. We will just wait to see what happens next. Let’s work on that together. “

 

It was a hard reality for Wonshik to accept. He was still somewhat convinced it was some sort of dirty trick they were playing on him. But when he faced Hongbin once again, it couldn’t be a lie anymore when he ran to his arms and grabbed his face to kiss him deeply. His heart jumped in the chest, at first too surprised to move or answer the kiss. He felt another hand around his waist, and a body pressed against his back. Without really knowing why, that presence made him feel relaxed. He finally closed his eyes and melted under Hongbin’s touches, holding him as close as he could as if he was afraid he might suddenly disappear. He had waited hopelessly for this moment for years, living it only in his dreams and fantasies. His brain was still struggling to process what was happening, but he believed he would get accustomed fast. Already, the feeling of Hongbin and Sanghyuk’s bodies against his and their hands on him were starting to feel familiar. It was like coming back home after a long time.

 

They fell asleep, their bodies entangled and smiles on their lips. Everything was fine. They were at peace. 

  
  
  
  



	12. a part of their heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> horny pirates and Taekwoon goes from panicked gay to confident gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's an eternity since my last update... enjoy this chapter hehehehhehe.

_ A hundred drums inside my brain. _

 

That’s what Hakyeon felt when he woke up the next morning. Not only did he have a headache, he also felt nauseous. It felt like a hangover, but Hakyeon absolutely didn’t remember drinking. The last thing he could remember was talking with Sanghyuk and Taekwoon, drinking a tea that tasted weird and… What happened the next day was kind of blurry. He sat up, ignoring his stomach disapproving that decision, and spotted Taekwoon and Jaehwan, both sitting on the floor, their backs resting against the wall. They were sleeping, a peaceful expression on their faces, as Jaehwan had his head on Taekwoon’s broad shoulder. When Hakyeon left his bed to try and stand up, his head started spinning and he had to use the wooden table next to him for support, not wanting to collapse. He noticed that his back was still aching, reminding him of the previous events. He wished he could forget them. He needed to forget them. 

 

“ Hakyeon, you’re awake? How are you feeling? “

 

Hakyeon turned his head to see Taekwoon slowly waking up, a pout on his pink lips and his nose scrunched. Hakyeon found him adorable, he reminded him of a kitten. He almost wanted to kiss his full cheeks. Almost.

 

“ I guess I’m alright? I just feel a little bit… dizzy? What kind of medicine did Hongbin give me? “

 

He was talking quietly to not wake Jaehwan up, but Taekwoon didn’t seem to have the same consideration. He stood up, causing Jaehwan to fall on the floor with a soft thud. Somehow, he didn’t even move. Hakyeon remembered that he was the only one able to sleep next to Wonshik without being disturbed by his snoring. Right, he was a heavy sleeper. Still, he wanted to tell Taekwoon to be more gentle with him but the man was already beside him, holding his arm to encourage him to take a few steps. 

 

“ Can you walk? Does your back hurt? “

 

Hakyeon nodded. 

 

“ It hurts, but I can walk. You… You didn’t answer. What happened yesterday? Something happened, right? It wasn’t just an absurd dream? “

 

“ Uh… What do you remember? “

 

Taekwoon had his eyes glued to the floor, refusing to meet Hakyeon’s curious glance. 

 

“ I… I don't remember anything. '' 

 

The man on his side seemed relieved. 

 

“ Okay, good. Nothing really important happened. Sanghyuk just made a mistake and gave you the wrong tea. “

 

Hakyeon’s eyes widened. 

 

“ You mean I was drugged?? “

 

“ Kind of? But don’t worry, Hongbin said it was fine. And you’re feeling normal, now, right? That’s the most important thing. “

 

Taekwoon was keeping something from him. But he apparently wouldn’t say it, so Hakyeon decided to drop it. After all, he wasn’t entirely wrong. The most important thing was that he was feeling normal. Totally normal, not at all as if his own family betrayed him and planned the death of his parents and him, not at all as if he tortured and killed a man, not at all as if the insanely beautiful Taekwoon proposed him to join his pirate crew, that were as beautiful as him. Yep, everything was normal. He sighed, placing a hand on Taekwoon’s, which was still supporting his arm. 

 

“ Taekwoon, I uhh… I’m sorry to break this emotional moment but umm, I feel sweaty, bloody and gross. Could I perhaps wash somewhere? “

 

Taekwoon blushed, apparently embarrassed that he hadn’t offered it first.

 

“ Yes, yes! Of course, you can! You just- Hongbin told me that if you wanted to wash up; someone needed to be with you to inspect your wound, clean it and put on new bandages, you want me to wake him up? He’s probably still sleeping but- “

 

Hakyeon chuckled and shook his head. 

 

“ No, don’t worry, don’t disturb him. He’s going to be grumpy all morning if you do. You’re here, right? You can do that? I mean, if you don’t mind. “

 

Taekwoon’s cheeks became redder and he was suddenly fidgeting. 

 

The most feared captain of a dangerous pirate crew was fidgeting and blushing because Hakyeon asked him to take a bath with him. It was surrealistic.

 

“ No, I don’t really mind, I mean if we don’t have a choice… “

 

“ Alright then come on, let’s bath! Show me the way! “

  
  


Taekwoon led him through the corridors, and despite what Sanghyuk told him about some indications engraved in the rock, he was glad that Taekwoon was with him to show him the way. First, they stopped in a tiny room and Taekwoon took some clean clothes after quickly checking if they fitted Hakyeon, and an oil lamp that he lit. 

 

“ It’s really dark, we will need it. “

 

Then they resumed their walk,  arriving soon at stairs that were going down.

 

“ Be careful. “

 

Taekwoon went down a few steps, before turning to Hakyeon, holding out his hand. Hakyeon hesitated a bit, before accepting the help. Because the stairs were steep and it was dark. Not because he liked the feeling of his hand in Taekwoon’s large hands. 

 

_ Everything is normal. _

 

They climbed down the stairs in silence, slowly, to not miss a step. Hakyeon was wondering if they were going down to hell when Taekwoon stopped. They finally reached the ground. Despite the oil lamp that Taekwoon was holding, there wasn’t any other source of light, both of them shrouded in darkness. He pressed himself closer to Taekwoon, not wanting to be left in the shadows. 

 

“ It’s alright, I’m here. Don’t be scared. “

 

His soft voice was calming and Hakyeon relaxed a bit. They walked for a while, and Hakyeon noticed that the temperature was quite high. They stopped again, and this time Taekwoon let go Hakyeon’s hand, who almost whined. He really didn’t want to be left alone there. But soon, he realized that Taekwoon was lighting some candles placed in the room. Soon, he was able to see around him, and when he saw where he was, he let out a little squeaking noise. They were in what looked like an ancient thermae. In front of him, there was a circular pool, enclosed by large pillars supporting a dome. The cave itself was really vast. He looked at the water and noticed there was steam coming out of it. 

 

'' Oh my god Taekwoon it's amazing, it's a natural hot thermal! '' 

 

Taekwoon nodded, quietly lighting the last candles. When he was done, the place was bathing in the soft light. Taekwoon turned his back, shifting on his feet. 

 

'' Alright uh, you can undress and go in the water, if you stand near the edge of the pool I should be able to take care of your wound… '' 

 

Hakyeon chuckled as he was taking off his shirt and slacks and slowly put a foot in the water. It was really hot, but Hakyeon liked hot baths. He missed them. The rest of his body followed, and he was now enveloped with a comfortable warmth from his toes to his waist. He didn't go further, so Taekwoon could take care of his wound. 

 

'' You can come, Taekwoon, I won't mind you know. '' 

 

He wasn't looking at him, but he felt Taekwoon's hesitation. For a moment, he thought he would refuse but he heard the rustling of clothes and the water moving at the other end of the pool. He wanted to turn to see Taekwoon's splendid torso, his delicate and immaculate skin, his defined muscles, but getting Taekwoon in the water had already been difficult. Taekwoon was obviously shy and not used to this kind of thing, he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. So he just waited, his heart pounding in his chest. He almost jumped when he felt long fingers brushing against his skin, then taking off the bandages. Taekwoon threw them on the floor and proceeded to carefully wash the wound. Hakyeon couldn't help but jerk a little, feeling his flesh sting. 

 

'' I'm sorry… Does it hurt a lot? '' 

 

Hakyeon shook his head. 

 

'' No, it's okay. But you know, I never...really got hurt. I guess this kind of thing comes with the pirate package. I will get used to it. '' 

 

The hands on Hakyeon's back froze. 

 

'' So… Do you accept? Being a pirate, I mean. '' 

 

Hakyeon quickly glanced behind his back, smiling softly as he saw Taekwoon's flushed face. 

 

_ Oh no, he's adorable.  _

 

'' I don't know yet, to be honest… I just know that I don't want to leave your side. '' 

 

The words left Hakyeon's mouth before he could hold them. Why did he say that? He expected Taekwoon to laugh at him, to tell him he didn't want him to cling to him but only silence followed this confession. He wanted to look at Taekwoon's face again, he wanted to see what was in his eyes that were usually more expressive than his words, but he was too afraid of what he might see. Perhaps he should apologize? Perhaps he should say that he still was under the influence of the drug and that he didn't mean it? Just when he was about to make a decision, he felt something on his shoulder. Something a little bit wet, and definitely warmer than the water. Something that sent a shiver through his whole body. It was Taekwoon's lips, placing light kisses on his skin, as he was firmly holding his shoulders with his strong hands. He struggled to not open his mouth, to not let out a loud moan, as Taekwoon's breath came closer to his ear. 

 

'' I don't want you to leave me either, Hakyeon. I think… I might feel torn if you ever leave. So please… don't. Stay with us. Not only for me but for the others. They love you. They need you. '' 

 

Hakyeon tried to focus on his words, but feeling Taekwoon's body almost pressed against his own wasn't helping at all. But he could still remember Sanghyuk's words.  _ You have the power of bonding us together.  _

 

He was having difficulty accepting this truth. After all, he met them a little bit more than two months ago and he was from a whole other world. How was it possible, when they were perfect strangers not long ago? His thoughts were interrupted when he felt Taekwoon’s hands in his hair, combing through them with his long fingers. 

 

“ I love your hair. It is so beautiful. “

 

His voice was as soft as usual, perhaps it was because of their sudden intimacy and the fact that he was breathing against his neck, but this time it made Hakyeon shiver with a different feeling. He always found it cute and almost endearing, but now it was awakening something new in his stomach. 

 

“ Th-Thanks? I used to take care of it a lot. I was using expensive oils and lotions… Now their ends are probably going to be dry soon. “

 

_ Yes. That’s right, talk about something insignificant, as if everything is fine, don’t show him that you’re troubled. _

 

He didn’t need to turn his head to know that Taekwoon was lifting a strand of his long hair to his nose. 

 

“ They still smell good. I will buy you some oils if you want. “

 

_ Okay what was THAT.  _

 

“ Uh, thanks but you don’t have to- “

 

“ Yes; but I want to. I want you to feel good with us.  _ I want to make you feel good _ . “

 

He was probably just talking about innocent things, just about hair lotion and other things, he wasn’t implying something else. Hakyeon was starting to feel really hot and dizzy there. He needed to get out. He was about to suffocate. It wasn’t  _ right _ . Suddenly, Taekwoon’s lips were back on his neck, this time more daring, licking his skin, biting it. 

 

_ NO. _

 

“ Taekwoon, I- “

 

“ Mh? “

 

“ I need to get out. Now. Please. “

 

His tone was a little bit dry, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t allow his voice to be weak and shaky. Taekwoon stepped back, a little bit hesitant. 

 

“ Are you alright? I’m sorry- “

 

Hakyeon heard water splashing and turned his face just in time to get a flash of a pale butt before Taekwoon reached for a dry cloth to tie around his waist. Hakyeon smiled a little. Why was he suddenly acting shy? What was wrong with him? He didn’t know which part of him he liked the most. The humble and flustered man or the bold and flirty one? 

 

__________

  
  


Once they returned to Hakyeon’s room -in silence- they found Jaehwan who was waking up, groaning and stretching. Taekwoon left him with Jaehwan and for a moment, Hakyeon thought that he was running away and would never show up again but he came back a few minutes later with new bandages and some herbs to apply on his wound. He wasn’t wearing a shirt yet, so Taekwoon immediately gestured him to sit so he could take care of it. But to his surprise, Jaehwan gently pushed him. 

 

“ I will do it. You seem a little off, if your hands are shaking you might hurt him or not do the bandages properly. Go and drink some tea. Ah, and please cook something for breakfast. I want eggs and rice please.“

 

Taekwoon rolled his eyes to the sky but still left the task to the man. 

 

“ I’m not your fucking maid. “

 

That being said, he left the room, leaving Jaehwan and Hakyeon alone. At first, Jaehwan didn’t say anything, but as he was carefully applying the decoction on his back; Hakyeon winced a bit, gritting his teeth. 

 

“ Are you alright? “

 

“ Hum, yes, it doesn’t hurt that much you know, don’t- “

 

“ I wasn’t talking about that. “

 

_ Oh. _

 

For once, Jaehwan’s tone was serious. Hakyeon wasn’t used to seeing him like this. 

 

“ You mean… about what happened during the attack? “

 

“ Yes. “

 

Hakyeon looked back over his shoulder and shot him a bright and cheerful smile. 

 

“ I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about that! “

 

Jaehwan still had that severe expression on his face. 

 

“ Hakyeon, you don’t have to lie. “

 

“ What- What do you mean? “

 

“ You don’t have to pretend that everything is alright. I know how - turn your head please, I’m trying to tie the bandage - I know how you must feel. To be betrayed by the people you trusted. “

 

_ Ah, that’s right. He was accused of a crime he didn’t do.  _

 

“ Jaehwan, who betrayed you? Who tricked you? “

 

“ We’re not talking about me, Hakyeon. We’re talking about you. About how you  _ really _ feel. You can be honest with me, Hakyeon. You can lower your guard, sometimes. You have the right to not always be alright. You can cry, you can be weak, you can open up your heart. Everything is going to be alright. “

 

Hakyeon wanted to cry. His words hit a sensitive spot. Jaehwan wasn’t wrong. 

 

“ I lied. I told Taekwoon that I can’t remember what happened yesterday. Some things are still a little bit foggy and I don’t understand why Taekwoon is acting weird, but I know some things happened. I know I…. was acting weird. I tried to flirt with you, right? “

 

Jaehwan looked surprised. 

 

“ But why did you- “

 

“ I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to forget my previous life made of lies. I wanted to forget about what I did to that man. I thought that perhaps if I wake up and pretend that nothing happened, I will really forget about it. I wanted to have a new start. ”

 

He felt a silent tear running down his cheek. 

 

“ I don’t want to become a monster, Jaehwan. I don’t want to stop being the person I was, even if I was like this because of all the lies around me. What am I going to become, Jaehwan? What’s my true self? That obedient and good kid who let himself be fooled, or that beast who tortured and slaughtered that man because he was angry? I don’t know who I am. “  

 

Jaehwan stopped moving his hands, but he still felt them, strong, on his shoulders, as if he wanted him to remember that he was there.

 

“ Hakyeon, you’re free now. You don’t even realize how lucky you are. You can choose who you want to be. You can decide what you’re going to do with your life. I can’t tell you which one you are, it’s up to you to find your true self inside of you. But remember to… to keep being honest with others and yourself. Everything is going to be fine. You’re not alone. If you doubt, if you’re weak, we are here. We can’t make the choices for you, but we can guide you. It might take time, but you will find who you are. And no matter what you decide to be, we won’t leave you. We will be with you until you want to leave us. “

 

“ I- I don’t want to leave you. I love you so much guys, I know, it’s stupid, we’ve only known each other for two months, it’s ridiculous. “

 

“ It’s not, Hakyeon. We all feel the same. You’re important to us. You became a part of our heart. You are- Is that a hickey?  “

 

Hakyeon slapped a hand on his neck. 

 

_ Fucking Taekwoon.  _

 

“ It’s not- “

 

“ Did something happened with Taek? “

 

His tone had nothing serious anymore. He was mocking him, a grin on his face. 

 

Hakyeon nervously bit his lower lip.

 

“Nothing… nothing happened. He just helped me wash a bit. “

 

“ Mmmmh yeah sure. I’ll act as if I’m buying this. “

 

Hakyeon blushed and lowered his head. He didn’t want to hide anything from Jaehwan, but it was truly nothing. Yeah, It was normal that Taekwoon might feel like this sometimes. He was a man, and he was always on the sea, not able to see girls. Perhaps his feminine features and long hair made his hormones go wild. Yeah, that was that. He couldn’t see another reason.

 

_ How could he feel something more about me? I don't deserve his attention. I’m pathetic.  _

  
  


__________

 

“ I’m pathetic. “

 

Taekwoon was mumbling alone, as he was heading toward the kitchen. He stopped to punch a wall but only ended up hurting his knuckles and hissed in pain. 

 

“ Good. Be even more pathetic. “

 

What did he do? He couldn’t explain why he did that. But when he saw Hakyeon’s curves, his tanned skin, his beautiful and long hair, he felt himself grow more confident, he suddenly needed to realize his hidden fantasies. Caress and kiss his skin. Stroke his hair. Whisper sweet words to him. Feel him shivering and pliable in his arms, almost easy. He dreamt about it. Almost every night. These sweet nightmares took place in his mind before he could realize it. He took his head between his hands, pulling his hair. 

 

_ Get your shit together, Jung Taekwoon. Look what you did. You made him freak out. Keep your dirty hands off of him. He doesn’t deserve them. _

 

He finally stepped into the kitchen, millions of thoughts still battling in his mind. He raised his head and found out that Hongbin, Wonshik, and Sanghyuk were already there. And something was definitely not normal.

 

Hongbin was sitting on Sanghyuk’s lap, strong arms around his tiny waist, the younger’s chin resting on his shoulder; as Wonshik was sitting next to Sanghyuk and was holding Hongbin’s small hands, gently stroking his fingers and looking at him with… adoration? And Hongbin was actually answering to that with a wide smile? What was happening here? They finally noticed him and looked at him, still smiling. 

 

“ Ah, Taekwoon, you’re here. We have something to tell you. Actually, to all of you. Go and get Hakyeon and Jaehwan, quickly. “

 

Taekwoon wanted to complain that he was the captain, despite Hongbin being… well, Hongbin, he shouldn’t order him around like that but he couldn’t say a word, too confused by the scenery. He was flustered, feeling like he interrupted something too intimate. He shouldn’t be there. So he just nodded and turned his back, sweating nervously. He ran more than walked to Hakyeon’s room, not bothering to knock on the door. 

 

“ Hey guys, hurry up and- “

 

The rest of the sentence died in his mouth when he saw what was happening in front of him. 

 

Jaehwan and Hakyeon were kissing. 


	13. decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakyeon takes a big decision and the rest are a gay mess

Hakyeon pushed Jaehwan away,  not minding the confused look on his face.

 

“ Taekwoon, that’s not- “

 

He didn’t even know why he cared about Taekwoon, why he felt guilty when he saw Taekwoon who looked hurt and disappointed. He didn’t know why he felt his heart crushing in his chest. Taekwoon looked away, his fists clenched.

 

“ You don’t have to justify yourself, Hakyeon. I don’t care. You can do whatever you want. “

 

His voice was dry and cold. Just like when they had just met.

 

_Oh no. What did I do?_

 

On his right side, Jaehwan wasn’t talking nor moving. He didn’t even want to look at him. He was too ashamed. Finally, Taekwoon turned his back.

 

“ I was looking for you two because the others want to tell you something, but apparently you’re too busy, so I guess they can wait. You can go back to whatever you were doing, I’m sorry if I interrupted something. “

 

After those words, he left the room and Hakyeon lowered his head, a lump in his throat. There was an awkward silence between the two men before Hakyeon felt a tear falling from his eye. It was the second time that he was crying today, and it was only the morning. What was wrong with him? Since when was he so sensitive? He hadn’t shed a single tear in front of the pirates for weeks when was captive, no matter how hard it was to hide his true identity, no matter how horrible he felt after seeing all the dead bodies. But here he was, crying like a child because a pirate saw him kissing another one. It was so stupid. It didn’t make any sense.

 

“ Hey, Yeonnie… “

 

Jaehwan’s voice was soft and the hand on his shoulder gentle.

 

“ What’s wrong?  Am I such a bad kisser? “

 

Hakyeon smiled through his tears. No, he wasn’t, and that was somehow even worse. He liked how his plush and soft lips felt against his. It was a nice, almost innocent kiss. Perhaps he wanted more. But that wasn’t right. He shook his head, refusing to meet the other’s eyes.

 

“ No, it’s not you, I just… “

 

Jaehwan stood up and Hakyeon looked at him, surprised. He didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t want to be alone. Jaehwan saw his worried eyes and wiped the tears on his face with his thumb.

 

“ Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. Wait a little bit. “

 

Once he left, Hakyeon felt like he was about to cry again. What was wrong, why was he feeling so broken, so vulnerable?

 

__________

 

Taekwoon was annoyed. With Hongbin, Wonshik and Sanghyuk who were weird and caused him to witness _that_. With Hakyeon, who was so nice to him and made him lower his guard and show his feelings. With that horny bastard Jaehwan. He didn’t want to go back to the kitchen. Who knew what he could see there. Suddenly, he realized that he felt alone. All the others were having deep bonds between each other, yet he was the only one who wasn’t really close to anyone. Yes, they were thankful to him for saving their lives and leading them. But he isolated himself, like a wounded wolf, not wanting to show his weaknesses, for years. And now, he was alone. It was his fault, he couldn’t blame the others. And after all, how could someone want to be close with someone disfigured like him?

 

“ Taekwoon! Wait for me! “

 

He jumped and turned to see Jaehwan walk toward him. He stopped. What did he want? When Jaehwan reached him, he firmly grabbed his wrists.

 

“ Taekwoon, you can’t just walk out like that. “

 

Taekwoon frowned.

 

“ What do you mean? “

 

“ Stop lying to yourself, Taekwoon. And stop hurting Hakyeon, please. “

 

Taekwoon tried to look away, but Jaehwan moved his hands to hold his cheeks with strong fingers, forcing him to look at him.

 

“ It’s time for you to face your feelings, Taekwoon. You can’t run away every time. You’ve hidden enough. “

 

Taekwoon couldn’t say why Jaehwan looked so mad at him.

 

“ But you- “

 

“ Yes, we kissed. What about it? You said you didn’t care, so what’s the matter? “

 

Taekwoon didn’t want to say it. Deep inside, he knew the answer.

 

“ Say it, Taekwoon. I know what you think but I want you to say it. “

 

How much he wished he could disappear right away. But Jaehwan was right, he couldn’t hide forever.

 

“ I- I don’t like that you kissed him. I don’t want you to kiss him because I’m jealous. Because I want him to kiss me. Are you happy now? “

 

Jaehwan released his grip a little, but the fire in his eyes was still there.

 

“ Do you love him, Taekwoon? “

 

Taekwoon closed his eyes.

 

_No._

 

“ Yes. “

 

The pressure on his jaw finally disappeared, and he opened his eyes. In front of him, Jaehwan was smiling sadly.

 

_Why is he sad?_

 

“ See? It wasn’t that hard. But… You need to know that you’re not alone. We all love him, Taekwoon. He obviously cares about you, enough to cry because you looked mad at him earlier. But you have to face the eventuality that you might not be the only one he cares about. Can you love him, knowing that? “

 

Taekwoon took a long time to answer. First of all, Hakyeon cried because of him? Oh God, he was horrible. And after that…

 

“ I don’t know, Jaehwan. I… I think I need time. But before that… Can you please tell me… What happened? Why did you kiss him? “

 

He knew it wasn’t any of his business, but he needed to know. This time, Jaehwan looked flustered.

 

“ Well… It’s just… I saw the… the mark on his neck. The one you did to him. “

 

“ Oh. “

 

“ Yes. And… You’re not the only one who’s jealous, Taekwoon. I wanted… I wanted to taste it as well. I asked him if I could kiss him and he said yes. That’s all. It was just curiosity and jealousy, nothing more. I mean, I care about him, I like him. But this time, there was nothing more. Please don’t be mad at him. “

 

Taekwoon huffed.

 

“ You told me to get ready at the idea of him liking more than one person, then you ask me to not be mad at him because of that kiss? You’re weird, Jaehwan. “

 

‘ I- I know, it might seem weird, but I just needed to tell you, and I didn’t want you to be mad at him, in case you didn’t want- “

 

“ Jaehwan, as I said, I need time to think about this. For now, I will… try to put my feelings aside. “

 

Jaehwan sighed, looking relieved.

 

“ Alright, you seem to be taking it well. I was afraid you might hate me or him… “

 

Taekwoon smiled fondly at him.

 

“ How could I? I love all of you so much, guys. You’re my family. Yes, sometimes I might be annoyed, but in the end, you are all my brothers. “

 

“ Just brothers? “

 

Taekwoon knew Jaehwan was teasing him and wasn’t serious, but he couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and quickly pecked Jaehwan’s lips, whose eyes widened. Taekwoon smirked and stepped back.

 

“ Let’s say it’s for the kiss you stole from Hakyeon. It’s mine now. “

 

Jaehwan furrowed his eyebrows and pouted.

 

“ Hey, I didn’t steal it from him! He agreed with it! “

 

They both laughed, but suddenly Jaehwan’s face became serious again.

 

“ Taekwoon, you know… You’re not alone. “

 

“ What- “

 

“ Don’t deny it, I know you were thinking that, earlier. You had that depressing emo face. We’re here for you, not only because we owe you our lives. We care about you, and we will always do. You’re clumsy, you don’t open up to us, you can be stubborn and childish, but we still love you, okay? Alright, now get back to Hakyeon. Even if you don’t confess right away because you need time or whatever, he needs to know that you’re not mad at him. I will wait for you two here, so we can finally know what the other idiots want. “

 

Jaehwan jokingly slapped his butt and he pretended to be offended. Taekwoon then left him in the corridor and headed back to the room. He tried to ignore the fact that he was growing more and more nervous as he was approaching his destination. He gathered his courage and finally opened the door. Hakyeon, who was hugging his knees, looked at him as if he was expecting someone else.

 

_Don’t be jealous. You have no right. He’s not your property. You have to accept that._

 

He felt a sting in his heart as he saw Hakyeon’s glittering eyes and the wet furrows on his cheeks. It was his fault. He hurt him. He came closer and sat on the edge of the bed. He wanted to hold his hand, to hug him, to kiss away his tears, but he couldn’t do that. Not now.

 

_I need time._

 

“ Hakyeon I’m- I’m sorry for talking to you like that, earlier. I didn’t mean it. Of course, you can do whatever you want, you can kiss whoever you want. But I care. I care about you. “

 

Hakyeon sniffed a little before starting to talk again.

 

“ What- What does that mean? “

 

Taekwoon looked at his own hands, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

 

“ I don’t know yet, I’m sorry. Please, wait a little bit. Can you? Can you give me time? “

 

Hakyeon nodded and a shy smile came to brighten his face.

 

“ I will wait. Actually, I’m the one who should apologize, I’m causing so much trouble… And I’m so weak, look at me breaking down for such insignificant things… “

 

Taekwoon came closer and placed a hand on the top of his head, touching his forehead with his own.

 

“ It’s okay. You can cry. That means there is humanity in you. You’re the one who taught me that, remember? After what you went through, it’s perfectly understandable to feel that way. I’m sorry that my feelings came in the way, it was probably not the right timing... “

 

“ No, it’s not you, don’t worry, I just… All of you went through so much more, and you’re so strong… “

 

Taekwoon huffed.

 

“ You think we were strong from the day we became free? We had years to move on. But do you know how many nights the guys spent crying or having nightmares? Hongbin still has scary dreams, sometimes. You will need time, but it’s going to be alright, you’re not alone, we already told you that, right? “

 

Hakyeon only nodded, his eyes still wet. Taekwoon moved backward, holding Hakyeon’s hand.

 

“ Are you okay? Can you come with me? The others are waiting for us. “

 

Hakyeon sniffed a last time and wiped his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. Then he raised his head toward Taekwoon, full of determination.

 

“ Yes, I’m ready. “

  
  


______

 

While they were walking down the corridor, Hakyeon was thinking about what had just happened. It was such a mess… Why had all of these things happened? At first, he was only talking with Jaehwan, but soon Jaehwan was teasing him, telling him that Taekwoon had fun with Hakyeon and that he was left alone. Hakyeon was laughing, but at the same time, he couldn’t ignore Jaehwan’s fingers brushing the back of his hand. He was pretty sure that he had feelings toward Taekwoon, but he wasn’t indifferent to Jaehwan’s presence next to him. After all, since the beginning, Jaehwan was the first one to talk to him, he was the one that made things less bad, he had enjoyed all those days talking on the deck. He was like a little sunshine, bringing happiness and love around him. That’s why, when Jaehwan asked if he could kiss him, he couldn’t refuse. It was just a kiss, right? It didn’t involve him into anything. Just a kiss. But Taekwoon saw him, and things got complicated. To his defense, Taekwoon didn’t make things clear, he didn’t ownHakyeon. And now… He had almost confessed, right? That was weird. He asked him for time. Hakyeon didn’t mind it. He could wait. He wasn’t in a hurry.

 

“ Guys, you’re finally here! “

 

He raised his head, almost bumping into Taekwoon who had stopped in front of him. Behind them was walking Jaehwan, curiosity reflecting in his brown orbs. Oh yes, tThat’s right. Sanghyuk, Hongbin, and Wonshik wanted to tell them something. What could it be? He entered the kitchen, seeing Hongbin on Sanghyuk’s laps, facing them. Of course, that wasn’t surprising, they were dating after all. But what was Wonshik doing there? He was smiling awkwardly, blushing, as Sanghyuk was tightly holding his hand as if he was afraid that he might run away.

 

“ Alright, everyone is here? Wonshik, say it. “

 

Wonshik turned his head toward Hongbin, eyes wide.

 

“ What? Why me, That’s not- “

 

Hongbin sighed and glared at him.

 

“ For once, stop being a pussy Kim Wonshik. “

 

Wonshik looked like he was about to say something, but ended up crossing his arms on his chest, biting his lower lip nervously.

 

“ Well then… Sanghyuk, Hongbin and I are dating. “

 

There was a silence in the room.

 

“ You’re what??? “

 

It was Jaehwan and his high pitched voice.

 

“ Yeah, you heard right. It’s not a big deal, move on. “

 

Hongbin was acting like he didn’t care, as usual, but he was clearly red. Sanghyuk, behind them, was hiding his face on his neck, hoping his gigantic body could be covered by Hongbin.

 

“ But, you… Sanghyuk and you… “

 

Hakyeon was stuttering, not understanding anything. He knew about Sanghyuk and Hongbin, but what was Wonshik doing in the equation, and since when?

 

“ I know, it’s complicated. But the final result is us three, that’s all. If you don’t like it we don’t care we- “

 

He was interrupted by Jaehwan crushing him in a tight hug. Hongbin almost fell from Sanghyuk’s lap at the impact.

 

“ THAT’S AMAZING HONGBINNIE! SANGHYUKKIE! WELCOME TO THE GAY FAMILY! WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT! “

 

“ Jaehwan I swear I’m going to kill you- “

 

Wonshik blinked, confused.

 

“ What do you mean, we’re all in the same boat? Are you all… gay? “

 

Hakyeon cleared his throat. He really didn’t want to talk about that again. He looked at Taekwoon, searching for any kind of support… And found out he was staring into the void as if his soul was sucked out of his body. Hakyeon raised an eyebrow, waving a hand in front of him.

 

“ Uh hello? Earth to Taekwoon? Is everything fine? “

 

Taekwoon finally blinked, looking surprised that Hakyeon was suddenly in front of him. Sanghyuk, Wonshik and Hongbin were looking at him with apprehension.

 

_I guess the captain’s opinion about this is the most important._

 

But in the end, Taekwoon only absently nodded.

 

“ Oh, that’s great. I guess… that if you’re happy that’s what really matters, right? “

 

They all looked at each other in confusion. They had expected more of a reaction, especially from him. What was wrong? Hakyeon didn’t have the opportunity to ask him, he immediately left, waving at them.

 

“ Anyway. I’m tired, I’m going to sleep a bit. “

 

“ But my breakfast- “

 

Jaehwan didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence, Taekwoon was already gone. An awkward silence settled in the room before Hakyeon decided to talk again.

 

“ So… How did everything happen? You can’t drop a bomb like that and not tell us everything! “

 

“ What about my breakfast!!! “

 

They talked for the rest of the morning, Hakyeon tried to cook so Jaehwan would shut up about his breakfast and them starving him to death because he was the only homo single. Hakyeon tried his best to ignore that he was implying Taekwoon and he were in a relationship. They were not. They needed time. He learned about Wonshik being in love with Hongbin for years and trying to forget his feelings but miserably failing every time, about Hongbin being torn between the two men he loved, about Sanghyuk doubting Hongbin and himself, and about the compromise they made. It was really interesting. Hakyeon had never heard of such a relationship but at the same time, he had never heard of lots of things. Hearing the three of them talking about how they feel for each other, seeing them caring so much and not wanting to lose their precious bonds almost made Hakyeon tear up. All this love that was overflowing from them was reminding him of Taekwoon. And Jaehwan. And the others. He felt an intense confusion in his soul, as he was trying to analyze what he was feeling. Ever since the attack, his beliefs and his world have been turned upside down, and new things were constantly happening. He was struggling to adjust. But perhaps it wasn’t that hard. Perhaps the answer to all of it was simple. It was love, and nothing else. He loved them.

 

The rest of the day was spent peacefully. He isolated himself a bit so he could rest and think about all of that without being disturbed by an over affectionate and loud Jaehwan, an awkward Taekwoon, a teasing Sanghyuk or a salty Hongbin. In fact, he realized that during these moments, he was feeling the most comfortable with Wonshik. He was calm, quiet when needed to be, talkative if Hakyeon asked something. Always nice, caring, never judging anyone or anything. He didn’t ask Hakyeon about what happened with Taekwoon or why he was acting weird. If he was curious about it, he never showed it. Hakyeon liked spending time with him, not talking, just them minding their own business, but his presence was somehow calming. He also discovered that Wonshik was really good at playing guqin. As Hakyeon was lying on his stomach, enjoying the rays of the sun on a big rock, Wonshik was playing a relaxing melody. At the end of the day, his decision was made. He stood up from where he was lazily savoring the last golden emanations of the day. Wonshik looked at him with his soft and so, so gentle eyes, silently asking him if everything was alright. Hakyeon smiled at him.

 

“ Do you know where I could find Hongbin? “

 

Wonshik nodded, as he followed him inside.

 

“ Of course, he should be with Sanghyuk in their room or his laboratory, sorting his herbs. “

 

“ I’m sorry that I asked to stay with you, I guess you would rather spend some time with your lovers… “

 

Wonshik chuckled, shaking his head.

 

“ No, it’s fine, I don’t mind. And Hongbin wanted one of us to stay with you anyway to make sure that you were alright. And I like spending time with you. “

 

Hakyeon blushed, looking at his feet.

 

“ Really? I didn’t do anything special… “

 

“ Yeah, that’s the point. You don’t feel the need to talk or fill the silence. It’s comfortable to be with you. “

 

“ I feel the same with you, to be honest…. “

 

They shyly smiled at each other, understanding how the other was feeling. Finally, they found Hongbin in his laboratory, chopping some herbs to prepare medicine. Or poison. Hakyeon didn’t want to know. He raised his head when he heard them coming and fondly smiled at Wonshik.

 

“ Is everything alright honey? “

 

Hakyeon almost choked on his own saliva. Never ever would he have imagined such words coming out of Hongbin’s mouth.

 

_Well, love changes people…_

 

“ I’m fine, but Hakyeon wants to ask you something. “

 

“ Oh? What is it? Is your wound alright? “

 

“ Yes, everything is fine don’t worry, it’s not that. I just wanted to ask you… “

 

Hongbin glanced at Wonshik, understanding that Hakyeon wasn’t feeling comfortable with him in the room. Wonshik quickly understood the message and without more questions, he left after pecking Hongbin’s cheek.

 

“ So? “

 

Hakyeon took a deep breath.

 

“ I was wondering… If you could cut my hair. “

 

“ Like the damaged ends? “

 

Hakyeon shook his head.

 

“ No, everything. I want it to be really short. “

 

Hongbin’s eyes widened.

 

“ What, but why? It is so beautiful! If you’re afraid about taking care of it don’t worry, we are pirates but we have some lotions, I can even prepare a special one for your hair-”

 

“ No, no! It doesn’t have anything to do with that! I just… made a decision, and I’ll start a new life. I want to start over, forget about all the lies, moving forward. My long and beautiful hair belongs to my old life, to the time I was innocent and naive, only caring about brushing it and making complicated hairstyles. Things changed. I’m about to write my own story.  I’m free to be who I want. I won’t forget about what I went through: because of these events, I’m here today. They made me start a new life. In a certain way, I’m thankful. Every day, I’m learning new things, I’m discovering the world. “

 

Hongbin smiled at him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“ I’m proud of you, Hakyeon. That’s great that you’re moving on without wanting to erase what happened. Nothing can erase your past. But you can take advantage of these experiences to be a new person, to improve. You… You’re going to join us, am I wrong? “

 

Hakyeon nodded confidently.

 

“ Yes. It wasn’t an easy choice to make, but I think it’s the best. “

 

“ You know that you’re not going to be a saint, right? You will have to kill, steal and fight for your life. “

 

“ Yes, I’m aware of all of that. But it’s too late, now. I’m too involved. I finally understood that it won’t make me a monster, but only someone that fights to survive. And you will be there if one day I lose it and I’m blinded by bloodlust again. I trust all of you. “

 

Hongbin surprised him by closing the distance between them and hugging him.

 

“ I’m glad that you made that choice, Hakyeon. I’m glad that you’re staying with us. “

 

Hakyeon hugged him back, pressing his nose to Hongbin’s wide shoulders to hide his teary eyes.

 

“ Alright, let’s get rid of this hair! By the way, why didn’t you ask Wonshik? “

 

“ Well, for some reason, I don’t trust him with this… I wasn’t feeling confident about leaving my precious hair in his hands. “

 

Hongbin stepped back, laughing.

 

“ Oh, and you’re right! You had the right assumption! “

  
  



	14. bros fucking in a bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last days at their home. Wonshik and Sanghyuk are Hongbin's puppies and I suck at naming things but what's new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, my new job is killing me and I need time to adjust... I swear I'll try to write more! Enjoy the porn you naughty asses. Thanks to my beta who did an amazing job on this chapter who was chaotic.

As Hakyeon was walking toward the kitchen where everyone else was, he grew more and more anxious. He didn’t know why his heart was beating so fast; was it because of the decision he made and now had to announce or was it his new haircut? He was wondering what their reaction would be. Perhaps they wouldn’t even care. But he knew that Taekwoon liked his long hair. What if he lost interest in him because of that? He nervously ran a hand through his newly cut hair. It was still soft and silky, the fringe on his forehead long enough to cover his eyebrows. The ends of the hair was almost poking his eyes. Maybe he should ask Hongbin to cut it shorter? He had assured him that he looked good like this. Hakyeon only briefly saw his reflection in the mirror Hongbin had handed to him. He didn’t want to look at it longer or he might regret it. The only thing he noticed was that when his hair was long, it was straight, but now its ends were a little bit wavy. It wasn’t that bad, he thought.

 

He was approaching the room and he was already able to hear them laughing and discussing loudly. Well, except for Taekwoon, but Taekwoon was rarely loud. When he entered the room, the chatters died and everyone looked at him with wide eyes. He chuckled awkwardly, scratching his head and avoiding their glances.

 

“ Uhm, is it that ugly? “

 

Suddenly Jaehwan was in front of him, ruffling his hair and giggling like a kid. 

 

“ This is so pretty, Hakyeonie! “

 

“ Stop calling him like that, he’s probably older than you. “

 

It was Taekwoon, still in a weird mood since Hongbin, Sanghyuk and Wonshik had announced their relationship. 

 

“ I don’t really mind, it’s cute… “

 

“ See! He doesn’t mind! “

 

Taekwoon sighed and averted his eyes. 

 

“ This hairstyle really suits you! Hongbin did well styling it! He can do so many things, it’s amazing. “

 

Sanghyuk approached him, contemplating his lover’s work with a closer look. Wonshik nodded, smiling softly, as Hongbin was faintly blushing. 

 

“ It wasn’t that hard and Hakyeon is always pretty anyway. It’s really no big deal. “

 

It was Hakyeon’s turn to blush. He really wasn’t used to being called that. He turned his head toward Taekwoon, hoping he would say something but to his surprise, he wasn’t even looking at them, as if he was somewhere else. 

 

_ Perhaps he really only liked me because of my hair… Perhaps now he thinks I’m ugly… _

 

“ It’s great but Hakyeon… Why did you cut it? I think I’ll miss your long and beautiful hair a little… “

Hakyeon turned his attention toward Sanghyuk again, a little bit surprised.

 

“ He’s right! I can’t believe I never had the opportunity to braid them! “

 

Jaehwan still had a hand in hair, a sad look on his face. Hakyeon became redder. He didn’t know why but the thought of Jaehwan braiding his hair made him flustered. 

 

“ It will grow back, and I wanted… I made a decision, guys. I want to stay with you. “

 

Hongbin was smiling at him, already knowing about it, but the others were looking at him, dumbfounded. Even Taekwoon had left his trance. 

 

“ Really!!! That’s cool!! “

 

Sanghyuk was the first one to react, followed by Wonshik who was patting his back with a knowing smile as if he had already guessed what he was going to say. To his surprise, Jaehwan didn’t look happy with it. He placed his hands on his shoulders, giving him a serious glance. 

 

“ Are you sure about this? It could be dangerous. You could get killed, or arrested, you- “

 

“ I already know all of that, Jaehwan. I’m aware of the danger, but I don’t want to have that easy life anymore, ignoring other people’s struggles, blind and naive. I’m already immersed in this world. “

 

“ You look determined. There will be no coming back, Hakyeon. Once you’re officially a member of our crew, you will be a criminal. “

 

Hakyeon nodded.

 

“ Cha Hakyeon is already dead, you know. Being a ghost or a criminal, there is no big difference. At least you will be there, with me. I have nothing to be afraid of. “

 

Jaehwan still looked strange, but he closed his eyes and sighed. 

 

“ I guess you won’t change your mind, so we have no choice… You’re… YOU’RE ONE OF US! ONE OF US! “

 

Hakyeon felt relieved to see Jaehwan in his normal childish state. He didn’t like it when he was too serious. For some reason, it made him uncomfortable. As soon as Jaehwan had said those words, Sanghyuk, Wonshik, and even Hongbin had formed a circle around him, jumping and chanting “ ONE OF US “. Hakyeon laughed, the tension in his shoulders finally gone. Now that he was accepted, he felt like nothing bad could happen. He would be by their side for a long time. Perhaps forever. Despite the fact that he was going to become a criminal, that thought filled him with happiness.

  
  
  


They laughed and talked the whole night. To celebrate, they emptied all their alcohol provision. Taekwoon was the only one that didn’t drink, saying they would need a sober person to take care of them anyway. Wonshik, who had quickly gotten tipsy, told him that Taekwoon had a very low alcohol tolerance, and probably had something to hide and didn’t want to accidentally expose himself. Hakyeon himself wasn’t really used to drinking, and after a few glasses, he was giggling with a half-drunk Jaehwan, both finding it hilarious that Wonshik was giving sloppy kisses to Hongbin, crying that he loved him so much and that he was so happy to be with him and Sanghyuk. Hongbin and Sanghyuk were apparently the only members that had a high tolerance, and Hongbin was rolling his eyes as Sanghyuk was having a lot of fun watching them. Soon, Hakyeon and Jaehwan realized that those three were being a little too intimate. They weren’t even touching, but the way they were looking at each other carried a lot of feelings. Hakyeon and Jaehwan felt like they were intruding. Looking around them, Hakyeon noticed that Taekwoon was no longer there. 

 

“ Taking care of us my ass. That coward ran away. “

 

Jaehwan laughed, taking his hand in his own. 

 

“ Why do you look so mad? Do you miss him that much? “

 

Hakyeon was glad that he was already red because of the alcohol, so Jaehwan wouldn’t see how flustered he was.

 

“ No, I’m just surprised. I thought he was- To be honest, he’s been acting weird lately… “

 

Jaehwan’s face was dangerously close to Hakyeon’s. 

 

“ We don’t need him. We can have fun without him. Do you want me to show you? “

 

If Hakyeon was sober, he would have probably understood what Jaehwan was implying. But his drunk brain only made him giggle. 

 

“ Yes, let’s have fun! What are we going to do! “

 

Jaehwan smirked. The alcohol was making him more bold and daring. He leaned in, slowly closing the distance between them. But when Jaehwan's face had gotten close, Hakyeon let out a loud burp, making Jaehwan grimace. 

 

“ Huh, Jaehwan, I think I’m going to throw up. “

 

_____________

 

It was the second time in a week that Hakyeon was waking up with a hangover. He groaned as he opened his eyes, a bitter taste in his mouth. He looked around him and found out that they had all passed out on the floor. Jaehwan was laying on the floor not far from him, Hongbin and his lovers sleeping further, entangled with each other as Wonshik snored loudly as usual. They hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time, yet they all looked so natural together as if this was their place since they were born. Hakyeon had to admit that he was a little bit jealous. He finally sat up and tried to stand but he soon realized that a single move made his stomach unhappy and his head spin. Next to him, Jaehwan moved and glanced at him, looking disgusted. 

 

“ You’re finally awake? You’re gross, you know. Yesterday you broke a whole myth. The graceful and beautiful Hakyeon threw up on me then fell asleep as if nothing happened. I had to clean both of us. Perhaps I should have let you drown in your own vomit. “

 

Hakyeon’s eyes widened, mortified as he checked himself. Indeed, he wasn’t wearing the same shirt. 

 

“ Oh my god, Jaehwan I’m sorry- “

 

Jaehwan rolled his eyes then shook his hand in front of him. 

 

“ Oh, it’s nothing, really. It’s always a pleasure to clean someone else’s vomit. My favorite hobby. “

 

He looked at him, this time a naughty smile on his face. 

 

“ At least I got to see your beautiful body when I undressed you. Worth it. “

 

Hakyeon blushed furiously, taking a bottle next to him to throw at Jaehwan. He dodged it easily.

 

“ Hey, chill, I was joking! Hakyeon, I can knock out a dozen enemies without getting harmed and without inflicting mortal wounds upon them with just a stick, I think I’m capable of undressing you without looking! “

 

Hakyeon squinted at him. 

 

“ That doesn’t mean that I did it. “

 

“ I knew it! You’re such a pervert, I hate you! “

 

He crawled to Jaehwan, trying not to throw up, punching his torso as Jaehwan was laughing. 

 

“ Who’s a pervert? “

 

They both turned their head. Hongbin was looking at them with a suspicious glare.  Jaehwan waved his hands in front of him. 

 

“ Nothing! No one is a pervert! We’re all pure children! “

 

Hongbin didn’t seem to buy it, so he thought that he was being smart when he added:

 

“ I mean, I’m not the one that was sucking someone else’s throat yesterday, moaning like a little kitten- “

 

Hakyeon shot him a horrified look.

 

“ Oh my God. Jaehwan. Run for your life. I can’t do anything for you. “

 

Jaehwan didn’t need to be told twice. 

  
  


________________

 

“ Tell me you didn’t make him bald again. “

 

Hongbin pouted, crossing his arms 

 

“ No. But he deserved it. “

 

Wonshik sighed, relieved. He patted Hongbin’s head as he was sitting next to him. 

 

“ We will have to make sure that he doesn’t put anything weird in Jaehwan’s food for the next few days. “

 

Sanghyuk was sitting on the other side of Hongbin, gently rubbing his hand to calm him, a sardonic smile on his face.

 

“ Alright, now that Jaehwan is safe, I’m going to take a bath, see you later guys! “

 

Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Hongbin, knowing him well enough, immediately understood his thoughts and sent him a side glance. They started talking only when Wonshik left the room. Hongbin came closer to Sanghyuk, moving slowly to climb on his lap, undulating like a sensual snake, a grin on his face. Once he reached Sanghyuk’s ear, he whispered, as if he was afraid that Wonshik might hear them.

 

“ Did you see that? Our little puppy is shy and didn’t propose we bath with him. Sanghyuk snorted, placing his hands on Hongbin’s waist automatically. 

 

“ You think? Perhaps he just wants some time alone. Or perhaps he’s just not ready to go further than kisses. Give him more time. “

 

“ Come on, don’t play innocent. I know you thought about the same thing as me. You want to bath with him, seeing that splendid body of his, sculpted like a God, you want to  _ feel _ it, under your fingers, your tongue… You want to hear his raspy voice, calling your name. “

 

Sanghyuk held back a moan, but he couldn’t hide the arousal already warming the bottom of his stomach. 

 

“ Hongbin, you naughty brat- “

 

“ Am I wrong? Or perhaps you just want to watch  _ us _ , his strong arms around my fragile waist, our wet bodies entangled, his hands traveling on me as I become a moaning mess…”

 

This time, a small grunt escaped Sanghyuk’s lips, making Hongbin chuckle.

 

“ That’s it, my dirty puppy? That’s what you want to do? “

 

Sanghyuk hated when Hongbin was in this mood, acting like he could have control over him. He hated it because it was true. He submitted to him so easily when he talked to him like that, even more when he discovered one of his kinks. 

 

“ Hongbin I swear- “

 

Hongbin smirked, feeling Sanghyuk becoming hard under him only with a little dirty talk. 

 

“ So easy for me, puppy… So, so easy… A bit of dirty talk and something to feed your imagination… I know you so well…”

 

Sanghyuk hid his face in the small of Hongbin’s neck, trying to suffocate another groan as Hongbin started grinding on his lap, the friction of their crotches starting to be too much. Soon, he would lose all control. He could feel the beast inside of him crawling to the surface. His nails dug into Hongbin’s waist, trying to grip something so he wouldn’t lose his mind. This man would be the end of him. 

 

“ Uhh guys? “

 

They both turned their heads lazily, immediately recognizing Wonshik’s deep voice. Hongbin was still smirking but Sanghyuk was visibly embarrassed, cheeks flushed. 

 

“ I- I forgot something but I can come back later if I’m- “

 

“ What nonsense are you saying, darling? Did you already forget that you’re also ours? We were just talking about you. “

 

Wonshik gulped, stiff and not daring to make a move. 

 

“ M-Me…? “

 

“ Yes, you, my big puppy. I was telling Sanghyuk how pretty I would look between your arms… He looked pleased to picture the scene. “

 

Hongbin expected Wonshik to be embarrassed, to turn his heels and run away. But to his surprise, there was a grin on his face. 

 

“ Oh really? How naughty of you, Sanghyuk. “

 

Hongbin laughed, as Sanghyuk blushed harder.

 

“ I always knew you were a pervert, Shikkie. “

 

Wonshik smiled at him, but not his usual soft and loving smile. This one was predatory, almost dangerous. It almost made Hongbin hard just looking at this new expression on his face. 

 

“ Alright, I’m going this time. You know where to find me. “

 

With that, he left them behind. Hongbin was smiling widely, his dimples showing on his cheeks. 

 

“ You heard that, Hyogie? It’s clearly an invitation, right? What do you think about it? “

 

Sanghyuk didn’t answer, Hongbin let out a scream of surprise when he suddenly stood up, carrying him in his arms. 

 

“ What are we waiting for? Let’s go. “

 

The man looked determined, his brows furrowed as if it was an extremely serious and important matter. Well, in Hongbin’s opinion it was. Wonshik was trusting them. He honestly didn't expect him to be that fast at adjusting to their new situation. 

 

Sanghyuk didn’t even bother stopping to pick up some clean clothes, just grabbing a lamp to climb down the stairs, still carrying Hongbin; who was a little afraid.

 

“ Hmm Sanghyuk, you know, you can put me down, I can walk- “

 

“ Shut up and save your strength for later. You will need it. “

 

Apparently, his puppy turned into a wolf. Finally. Hongbin liked having a bit of control over him and feeling him weak for him, but he always felt more comfortable when he was the one taking orders. It just felt safe. Not having to do anything, just following his pace and obeying his orders. It was tiring to always be on his guard with everyone all day, being defensive and building a distance with others. With Sanghyuk, he could let himself breath. He was safe. He had never been that intimate with Wonshik, so he was a bit afraid. Would everything be fine? Would he feel that safe? The only way to know was to try. If he didn’t like it, he could retreat anytime. 

 

Finally, they reached the bottom of the stairs. Sanghyuk followed the dim light of the candles. When they entered the vast cave, they were both taken aback by the picture in front of them: Wonshik was standing in the middle of the pool, his body immersed up to his waist, his head tilted back, his neck exposed. His eyes were closed, his long and wet hair falling behind him. They had already seen him shirtless hundreds of times. But this time, it was different. The steam enveloping them, the candles throwing moving shadows on his body. He was breathtaking. Sanghyuk finally let him down, and Hongbin took a moment to look at the man in front of him. His skin was darkened by numerous tattoos. Hongbin knew each of them had a story behind them, but Wonshik only shared a few of them. There were locked inside of him, and perhaps he would never have the key and Wonshik would take them to his grave.

 

“ Is everything alright? “

 

The presence of Sanghyuk behind him brought him back to reality. His voice was soft and reassuring, his hands stroking his waist. He probably thought he was hesitant.

 

“ I’m fine, I was just admiring the artwork,  _ our  _ artwork. “

 

“ You know, I can hear you guys. “

 

His eyes were open, looking at them, piercing and lascivious as if they could see through Hongbin’s clothes. 

 

“ Why aren’t you undressed yet, baby? “

 

Hongbin shivered, feeling Sanghyuk’s breath against his neck. Only then did he realize that he had already taken off his own clothes while he was busy daydreaming about Wonshik’s body. Seeing that he was still not moving, Sanghyuk grabbed him by the shoulders and made him turn so he would face him. 

 

“ Do I need to do it myself? “

 

Hongbin smirked, teasing. 

 

“ Perhaps? “

 

As Sanghuk slowly unbuttoned Hongbin’s shirt, Wonshik watched them, throat dry but fascinated by their dynamic. Earlier, he saw them interacting and Sanghyuk was in the position of someone submissive, but they switched their roles so fast, so naturally. They knew each other so well. He hoped one day he could share that special bond with them. He was happy enough that they had opened their relationship just for him. 

 

Finally, Hongbin’s pants fell to his feet, exposing his -deliciously round- ass. He shifted on his feet, feeling suddenly shy to be exposed to two hungry stares. Sanghyuk felt the small amount of anxiety that was rising on his chest and his hands came into his hair, gently caressing his head. 

 

“ We don’t have to do it, sweetheart. You can just put on your clothes and we can pretend it never happened. “

 

Hongbin shook his head. Knowing that Sanghyuk was there, watching him, ready to intervene if he felt that Hongbin had a problem helped him relax a bit. 

 

“ It’s going to be alright. I’m the one who wanted it in the first place, right? “

 

He leaned to place a light kiss on Sanghyuk’s lips. 

 

“ Just watch us and enjoy the show, puppy. “

 

Sanghyuk smiled, relieved that his lover was feeling better. Hongbin turned his back to him and walked confidently toward Wonshik, who was eyeing them with envy. 

 

“ I thought you two were playing a trick and that you would never come. “

 

“ You’re a bit impatient, love. “

 

Wonshik’s heart melted at the sweet name. He still wasn’t used hearing them coming from Hongbin’s usually bitter mouth. Hongbin entered the water, slowly, making the calm surface of the water quiver. Wonshik was still looking at him with an intense stare. Hongbin was glad that the water was hiding his excitement, his anticipation of the moment. He finally reached him, and shyly stood there as Wonshik caressed his jaw, placing soft kisses on his face, to finish by the lips. The exchange quickly became messy, almost sloppy, their lips clumsily moving against each other. Hongbin was usually a great and composed kisser, and so was Wonshik. But this time was different. It was different from when Hongbin was making out with Sanghyuk, it was different from when Wonshik would bitterly kiss Taemin. It was even different than their previous exchanges. This time, they were both almost desperate, hungry and horny, eagerness making their bodies tremble.

 

Wonshik’s large hands soon slid along his spine, fingers tracing the curve of his back to settle on his waist, not stopping, making Hongbin whimper. He wasn’t putting that much strength in his gestures, yet his lingering touches felt like fire on his skin. His entire being ached for more. He pressed himself against his lover, tearing a groan from his throat when their cocks met. He teased him a bit more by repeating the movement, his arms wrapped around his neck as he was moving at a slow pace, feeling with pleasure and a bit of amusement Wonshik growing harder and panting in his mouth, the kiss becoming even more unstructured. Hongbin withdrew, a string of saliva still connecting their lips. In another time, Hongbin would have found that disgusting. Right now, he had only one thing in mind.

 

“ Shikkie, please, touch me more… “

 

He felt Wonshik hesitate a bit, unsure about what he should do, where he should put his hands. Hongbin took pity on him and gently took his right hand, descending until they reached his cock. Hongbin gritted his teeth, letting out a small whimper. He placed the other hand on his chest. Wonsik immediately took the hint and started rubbing his nipples with his fingertips, still a little awkward to be touching more. But Hongbin was starting to get impatient, the hand between his legs still awfully static. 

 

“ Please, puppy… are you going to make me beg… “

 

Said puppy grinned. He liked the idea. 

 

“ I swear, you’re the worst… Fine, could you PLEASE touch my dick before it explodes? “

 

Wonshik chuckled, the joking tone making him relax and he finally started moving, lazily stroking Hongbin’s cock under the hot water. Hongbin lowered his head, closing his eyes. His hands came to rest on Wonshik’s shoulders, scratching his skin. He was starting to get dizzy, the heat of the atmosphere not helping the matter. The addition of the other hand teasing his nipples was making it worse. They moved a moment later, leaving him on edge, but came back soon, groping his ass, firmer but still gentle, with a lot of care. Hongbin couldn’t help but notice the contrast with Sanghyuk’s usual roughness. 

 

Suddenly remembering that Sanghyuk was somewhere in the room, watching them, he turned his head, looking for the familiar gaze. When he found it, his heart skipped a beat. He was there, sitting against a pillar, his feet almost in the water. Legs spread, he was touching himself, biting and licking his lips as if he was in front of some delicious food. He looked feverish, as if all of this was too much to handle. 

 

Sanghyuk wanted to come. He wanted to touch them. He wanted to be touched. But at the same time, he didn’t want to interrupt the show. There was something so hot about just watching them, just being a witness. He felt dirty, like a pervert, almost shameful. And that was making him more and more aroused. He was desperately trying to please himself but his single hand was never enough. When his eyes met Hongbin’s, Hongbin who looked so wrecked, so filthy, his hands stroked his cock faster and he threw his head back, resting against the cold stone. It was too much. He needed more. He could barely hear his weak moans as he was looking at him, pleading. 

 

_ Pleading for what?  _

 

He got his response when Hongbin found the energy to move his lips to form a coherent sentence.

 

“ Please… I want you to fuck me… I want you… “

 

He was talking in Wonshik ear but had his eyes glued to Sanghyuk, confusing him. Who did he want? Did he even know himself?  Wonshik finally realized that Hongbin was looking behind him and turned his head to glance at Sanghyuk as well. 

 

“ I think we should get out of the water first, don’t you think, honey? Then you’ll be nice and tell us who you want. “

 

Hongbin whined as Wonshik half carried him out of the water.

 

“ Both of you, I don’t know, find a solution, you’re the dom. “

 

Wonshik rolled his eyes to the sky. He really wasn’t helping. When they reached the end of the pool, Wonshik saw that Sanghyuk wasn’t at the same place anymore. he had gotten up and gathered some sheets and even pillows that were around, trying to make the floor softer. He didn’t know why these things were here, but assumed that when Hongbin and Sanghyuk had been secretly dating, they probably needed a place where they would be sure they wouldn’t be heard.

 

Once Hongbin was laid down, Sanghyuk and Wonshik looked at each other awkwardly. What were they supposed to do now? 

 

“ Huh, so, Wonshik, you want to put it in first? “

 

Wonshik shrugged.

 

“ I don’t know, he said he wanted both of us. “

 

“ But we can’t do it at the same time, it might be complicated. “

 

They both nodded in agreement. 

 

“ We can take turns? It won’t be at the same time but we don’t have that many options? “

 

“ Oh my god, guys why do you lack so much in imagination? Just stop talking and try to use your brain, or your dick, I don’t know. I have a mouth, two hands, a dick and butt hole I think you can find something to do at the same time. “

 

Wonshik was trying to think, then suddenly realized he shouldn’t _ think _ . Until then, everything they had done felt natural. They didn’t have to force themselves into doing it. They just had to follow it. Follow what their hearts (and dicks) were telling them to do. Withoutany more thinking, Wonshik took a look at Hongbin, spread on the floor, his beautiful body wet, water and sweat dripping on his pale skin. He was gorgeous like this; eyes half-closed, his hands clenching the sheets under him as he was arching his back, trembling in anticipation. He could look at him for hours. He raised his head toward Sanghyuk, who was kneeling next to Hongbin’s head, looking at him with the same intensity. He had something in mind, but it was hard to express it loudly. He was trying to remember that he didn’t have to be embarrassed, there was nothing wrong at not really knowing what to do during these times and that it was better to talk out loud about what they all wanted, how they felt about it. 

 

“ Huh, Sanghyuk, what about you… I mean, since the original idea was that you watch us, I can fuck him while he, uuh, sucks your dick? “

 

Sanghyuk seemed to think about it, and just nodded. He turned his attention back to Hongbin, caressing his cheek. 

 

“ Are you okay with that, love? Do you want to suck me off while Wonshik has his big cock inside of your pretty ass? Would you be good for both of us? “

 

Hongbin almost sobbed, closing his eyes and biting his lips. 

 

“ Yes, yes, please, hurry up, please. “

 

Wonshik chuckled and settled above him, kissing him softly, his hands brushing and teasing his nipples. 

 

“ Oh baby, I’m going to take my sweet time. I will enjoy every second of it, every bit of your skin, every sound you make… “

 

As to support what he was saying, Hongbin let out a loud moan, releasing the sheets to clutch Wonshik’s muscular shoulders. The latter started stroking Hongbin’s thighs, before realizing something. 

 

“ Fuck, Sanghyuk, I don’t have… we didn’t bring oil, right? “

 

Sanghyuk didn’t answer, but Wonshik felt that he left the room, probably running after the said oil. He didn’t want to hurt Hongbin, so he had to wait for him to come back. It was almost funny, how messy all of this was. They had no clue about how to proceed and didn’t even think about bringing oil with them. He took the opportunity while they needed to wait and kissed Hongbin, over and over, never tiring of tasting his lips, feeling his tongue against his. He could come just doing that, pressing their erections together, feeling Hongbin’s nails digging into his skin and leaving red marks all over his back and arms. 

 

Sanghyuk finally came back, out of breath, handing him a small bottle. 

 

“ Here. There must be enough for today. It’s scented oil I don’t know if you- “

 

“ Perfect, just give it to me. “

 

He opened the cap and poured a generous amount on his fingers. He immediately smells the fragrance, making him even more aroused. He could recognize coriander, jasmine, and bergamot mixed with other things he couldn’t identify. He had never smelled something that pleasing. It was probably Hongbin’s doing. He let a few drops fall on Hongbin’s body and approached his entrance. Hongbin instantly spread his legs wider, giving him more access. Wonshik started teasing him and finally slid in a hesitant finger, unsure how Hongbin would feel. He was rewarded by a high pitched moan, followed by supplications for adding another one and going faster. Wonshik granted his wish and started scissoring him. He had had sex with Taemin so many times, yet he was feeling like a virgin, unsure and fumbling. It was something else to do it with someone he really loved deeply. He was so afraid of messing everything up and disappointing him. What if he changed his mind after a terrible experience with him, forbidding him to be a part of their relationship? Somehow, Hongbin felt that he was tense and lifted a hand to pet his head. 

 

“ Hey, sweetie, it’s going to be alright. Everything is going to be fine. I love you, no matter what. I’m the one that’s supposed to relax, remember? “

 

Wonshik groaned, kissing him to hide his embarrassment. But what he said made him feel better, and soon he added a third finger, making Hongbin whimper. He briefly saw Sanghyuk, who was watching with a weird expression, running his fingers through Hongbin’s hair. If Wonshik wasn’t so focused on his task, he would have realized that the weird expression was, in fact, love and care. 

 

When he was sure that Hongbin was ready, he backed off and removed his fingers, making Hongbin frustrated. 

 

“ On your hands and knees, sweetheart. “

 

Hongbin glared at him but still did what he ordered him, his ass up and his cheek pressed on the sheets. Quickly, Sanghyuk went to sit in front of him, his legs on each side of his head, sliding the tip of his cock between Hongbin’s lips. He opened his mouth fully, allowing him to go deeper. He was used to this sensation, sucking him off while his hand pulled his hair, Sanghyuk moving his hips back and forth. What he wasn’t used to, was another cock in his ass at the same time. Sanghyuk didn’t show mercy in fucking his mouth, barely letting him catch his breath, but Wonshik was almost awfully gentle and careful, slow, leaving him time to adjust. He started moving but still at a moderate pace. The contrast between the two, totally untuned, made his mind go blank. It was too much but not enough at the same time. He wanted to scream and moan, but only gagging noises came from his throat, making him sound pathetic and wrecked. But he knew Sanghyuk liked seeing him like this. He raised his eyes toward him and had the confirmation when he saw the pleased look on his face, his head thrown back and his free hand on the floor supporting him so he wouldn’t collapse. By the way his chest was rising up, betraying irregular and fast breathing, eyes closed and a frown on his face, he knew he was close. Behind him, Wonshik was holding his waist, thrusting into him with erratic moves. He could hear him groaning and panting with his hoarse voice. Hongbin’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, feeling too much pleasure at the same time, and tried to reach his abandoned and painfully hard cock, but Wonshik held his arm. Hongbin was about to protest, but soon he felt his hand touching him as he was bending over him, going deeper inside of him and hitting his prostate. Once again he tried to scream but only choked on Sanghyuk’s dick.

 

“ Sanghyuk, give him… Space… Let him… breath.. he wants to s-scream… “

 

 Sanghyuk acted as if he didn’t hear, his grip in Hongbin’s hair tighter. 

 

“ I can’t, I’m… close… “

 

As he was finishing his sentence, he let out a cry, coming in Hongbin’s mouth. Hongbin swallowed as Sanghyuk was finally backing off, allowing him to be vocal again. He whimpered Wonshik’s name like a mantra, feeling better and better, his head light. Sanghyuk moved to kneel next to Wonshik and grabbed him by the nape with a strong hand, kissing him roughly, licking inside his mouth. Wonshik almost lost his balance, taken aback by the sudden kiss. The hand on Hongbin’s dick stroked faster, matching Wonshik’s pace inside of him and he felt Wonshik come, following him not long after that. 

 

The three of them collapsed on the floor, sticky with sweat and come, but for now, they didn’t care, focused on recovering their spirits that seemed to have left them to go to the stars. 

 

After the collected themselves, they looked at each other and laughed. They didn’t really know why. Perhaps it was because they loved each other, or just because they were still high. They were just happy in this moment. They stood to wash up, stumbling on their feet and holding each other, sharing occasional kisses.

 

Once they came back in their shared rooms, they laid down in silence, staring at the ceiling, until Wonshik turned his head toward Hongbin who was between him and Sanghyuk. 

 

“ The oil… it smelled good… you made it, right? “

 

Hongbin shyly nodded. 

 

“ I’m glad that you liked it… by the way, Sanghyuk, it was in my room, did you run through the corridors naked with your hard dick out? “

 

“ … Yes. I did. “

 

Wonshik laughed, picturing the scene. 

 

“ Oh my God, did the others see you? It would be hilarious. “

 

Sanghyuk snorted and shook his head.

 

“ I don’t think they saw me. Well, I have to admit that I was focused on something else, so I didn’t really care about what was around me. I hope I traumatized no one. “

 

They laughed before becoming quiet again. 

 

“ Guys… It was not that bad for a first time with the three of us. It was good. I love you. “

Sanghyuk and Wonshik looked at their lover then placed a kiss on his cheeks, making him giggle. 

 

“ I love you, my puppies. “

  
  


___________________________

 

Hakyeon couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t understand why Taekwoon was distant with everyone like that. After he officially joined the crew, he thought everything would be fine. But he was wrong. Something was off. Why was Jaehwan so unhappy when he announced that he wanted to become a pirate? Why was he feeling so jealous of Hongbin, Wonshik and Sanghyuk, when he should be happy for them? And what was happening with Taekwoon? For a moment, he thought they were about to become closer, more than friends, and suddenly Taekwoon stepped backward, putting some distance between them. Not only with him, the others too. 

 

Realizing he wouldn’t be able to sleep any time soon, he stood up, putting on pants under his shirt just in case he met someone who wasn’t asleep either. That’s not that he didn’t want to talk with the others, in fact it would be great to take his mind off of things. But he noticed that when he wasn’t wearing pants, his interlocutor would have difficulty focusing on their conversation. 

 

He wandered in the quiet corridors for a while, trying to remember where the exit was, when he suddenly bumped into someone. He lifted his head, and in the darkness, recognized Taekwoon. Great. Here was the man who was stealing his sleep. Taekwoon tried to avoid him, but Hakyeon firmly grabbed his wrist. It was time to settle this. Taekwoon couldn’t run away forever. He had to face his responsibilities, as the captain he was supposed to be. 

 

“ Taekwoon, wait! We need to talk! “

 

Taekwoon looked at him with confusion, and that was getting on his nerves. 

 

“ Oh God Taekwoon don’t play games with me now. Don’t act as if you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re avoiding me, and everyone. You’re again distancing yourself. Why are you doing that? You know that kind of behavior hurts us. You can’t continue like this. I know it’s hard for you, but you have to try and talk to us about what’s wrong. The others didn’t say anything, but I know they are worried as well. “

 

Taekwoon seemed to think about it, furrowing his eyebrows. 

 

“ That was… That wasn’t my intention… “

 

Hakyeon sighed and took his hand. 

 

“ Alright, let’s talk about it somewhere else. Show me how to go outside, I’m kind of lost. “

 

Taekwoon nodded and indicated the way. When they were both under the silver moonlight, Hakyeon sat on a rock, gesturing Taekwoon to do the same. They looked at the sky illuminated by infinite stars for a moment until Hakyeon started questioning again. 

 

“ There is something wrong, you can’t hide that fact, what it is? Is it something I can help with? “

 

Taekwoon took a moment before answering. 

 

“ I don’t think you can help. It’s just… Lately, many things have happened. After you came in our life, I discovered many new feelings, my world was thrown upside down. And when I thought I finally succeed to understand myself, other things kept happening, over and over. It’s hard to catch up. The final straw was Hongbin, Wonshik and Sanghyuk dating. I didn’t see it coming, and I have to say that I feel bad about it. I’m the captain, I’m supposed to notice these things, and they are supposed to believe in me, not hiding things from me. And what is an open relationship anyway? I’ve never heard about it, but not only them, Jaehwan mentioned it the same day. How am I supposed to share someone I love? “

 

“ What do you mean? What did Jaehwan tell you about it? “

 

Taekwoon glanced at him, biting his lips as if that had just escaped his mouth.

 

“ It’s nothing. He just… mentioned some things. I’m not avoiding you on purpose, I’m really sorry that I hurt you. I just have a lot to think about, it’s a mess in my head. As I already told you, I need time. “

 

Hakyeon looked relieved, smiling softly.

 

“ It’s only that… I’m glad then. I thought you were mad at me, or that you found me ugly with short hair… “

 

Taekwoon immediately turned his body to face him, cupping his face between his large hands.

 

“ Oh no, Hakyeonie, I would never. You’re so pretty like this. You’re always pretty. “

 

_ I love you.  _

 

The words almost escaped Taekwoon’s lips, but he was able to hold them. 

 

_ Not now.  _

 

He let his hands fall on his lap, fist closed. He couldn’t allow himself to touch him now. Hakyeon was looking at him with a questioning look. 

 

“ I’m sorry if I look a little bit distant now… Give me time, alright? I swear that I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. “

 

With these last words, he stood up and Hakyeon followed him. When he returned to his bed, he was able to fall asleep, finally. His mind was at peace. Taekwoon didn’t hate him. He would be alright. All he had to do was to wait. 

  
  
  
  


_________

  
  


Three days later, Hakyeon insisted that they leave the Home. He was impatient to see the pirate’s Queen, so he could become a real pirate. Taekwoon was against this, saying that he needed to rest more, his wound hadn’t healed yet. But Hongbin said it would be fine, it wasn’t that bad, and the journey to the Queen’s location was pretty long so they had time anyway. During this time, Hakyeon would learn more about sword fighting and pirates. The others didn’t object that; they were becoming bored. They liked this place, but there wasn’t that much to do. They missed the sea, their boat, adventure and what came along with it. 

 

They went back to the sea, not worried about leaving their Home behind them, the only stable and safe place they had. After all, they would come back eventually. They would always come back home. 


	15. What happened to Amber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Amber when Hakyeon left her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys I'm sorry for the slow updates, as as I previously said, work is killing me. Earning money is hard. But I will try my best to post the next chapter as soon as possible! I hope you will like that short chapter even if it doesn't talk about our usual gays. If you miss me too much between each updates you know that you can yell at me on twitter ( @Hakyeons_bitch )

Amber, despite not having the life she wanted, had to admit: until that day, she always was privileged. She had nothing to be worried about, she just had to sit, learn music, dance and poetry. She just had to be nice and pretty. Of course, it was boring. But she had her cousin. Hakyeon was like a brother to him. Secretly, she always admired him. Despite the tragic death of his parents; he barely cried and always stayed so strong, never showing his weaknesses. He was beautiful, yet so many people said ugly things about him. She hated them. But Hakyeon never showed any signs of being affected by those words. He was always smiling, giving her the strength to face the world. He was always so understanding to her, listening to her complaints, her dreams, her hopes. She thought they would be together forever, facing the cruel destiny that didn’t allow them to choose their own path in life. 

 

Until that day, when everything changed.

 

She still had nightmares about that day. She could hear people’s screams. Hakyeon’s reaction, calm and reassuring until the end. She could remember his resigned expression. Perhaps she should have said something, but deep inside she knew he did the best thing. It was the only way to keep them alive. The pirates would probably have killed him and taken her. Yet she kept feeling guilty. They came for her, and they took her dear cousin.

 

She couldn’t remember what happened next clearly. Everything was foggy. She couldn’t believe the things that had happened. The only thing she knew was that when she came back to her parents, she ran to them, crying and imploring them to save Hakyeon. At this time, she couldn’t remember why they looked surprised but relieved to see her. They told her that everything would be fine, that the most important thing was that she was alive. But she didn’t care; the only thing she could think about was sending some boats to chase the pirates, or at least giving them the ransom they asked. 

 

“ Don’t worry, we will take care of it. Don’t think about that, try to rest. “

 

It calmed her for a moment. They would do anything to rescue their nephew, right? But as days passed, nothing happened. Every time she would ask, they would say:

 

“ We’re taking care of it. “

 

One month later, there was a day she kept asking them and insisted to know what was happening. Her mother ended up being annoyed and ran out of patience. For the first time in her life, she yelled at her. 

 

“ Why do you keep asking about that bastard? Aren’t we enough for you? He’s not a part of our family. He’s dead, Amber, can’t you understand that? He’s already dead. Do you think they would keep such a useless burden? “

 

Amber was to shook to answer. She just stood there, eyes wide and tears falling from her eyes. Like a corpse, she walked toward the garden, trying to gather her thoughts. 

 

No. It wasn’t possible. She couldn’t believe that. She couldn’t explain why, but she knew he was alive. Or perhaps it was just that she couldn’t accept his death. She couldn’t think about it. 

 

After hours of wandering in the garden, she came up with a plan. She would convince her parents that Hakyeon was still alive. She would find the right arguments, and they couldn’t ignore that. They had to believe her. She could even threaten them with running away if they refused. 

 

Full of confidence and sure about her plan, she went to their rooms. Then, when she was about to enter, she heard them talking in low voices. Something was weird. She was kind of rebellious, but never ever had she eavesdropped on their conversation. Yet this time she did it. She had a bad feeling. 

 

“ She asked about him again today. “

 

“ How annoying. Can’t she forget about him? He was useless and ugly anyway. He’s better dead than alive. Now people pity him and we can access his heritage. We will be able to find a good husband for her, she will be able to wear beautiful jewels and dresses. Isn’t that enough? “

 

“ Not to mention how hard it was to plan all of that. Ordering our daughter’s kidnapping was hard. We took big risks contacting that pirate, the Son of the Dragon, whatever he’s called. But now, we’re safe. We can live comfortably for the rest of our lives. “

 

Amber couldn’t breathe. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to cover up her sobs. She heard enough. Without being noticed, she went back to her room and locked the door. Only then, she allowed herself to collapse on the floor, crying all the tears of her body. 

 

How was it possible. Her dear, loving parents were in fact monsters. They killed her cousin. And now that she was thinking about it, they probably killed his parents as well. Her mother ordered the execution of her own sister. 

 

All these years of lies, pretending to be nice to Hakyeon, only so they could rob him. The fact that they risked her life for money was nothing to her. The memory of her cousin was stronger. 

 

She stayed on the floor all night. Before morning came, her choice was made. She didn’t think twice about it. What was waiting for her? Living a life made of lies, fake love and money. Being exchanged against more money for a husband she didn’t want. Yes, within these walls she was safe and would always have food and pretty clothes. But at what price? Hakyeon’s life and her freedom? 

 

She couldn’t accept that. 

 

She wiped the tears on her face with the sleeve of her dress and stood up. She had to be strong. She had to follow her cousin’s courage. She took off the beautiful dress made of expensive tissue and dropped it on the floor, not even caring to fold it properly. She opened her secret closet and took the clothes she kept there. They were men’s clothes. She had hid them there so she could sometimes escape and go to town with her cousin. She hadn't worn them for a long time and it brought memories from when she was with Hakyeon, naive and innocent, only caring about having fun. Those times were gone and would never come back. That night, she said goodbye to her childhood and her happy memories. She took a big breath and with a knife, she cut her hair. She thought that perhaps she might feel sad about it, but seeing her reflection in the mirror, she realized she was way prettier like that. Yes, masculine clothes and short hair was suiting her very well. She smiled to herself and made the last preparations. She took some clothes, some food and lots of money and left, without even leaving a message to her parents. They didn’t deserve it. They didn’t deserve her. 

  
  
  


_________

  
  
  


Once she was outside, she realized it was harder than she thought. Her first thought was that she needed to find Hakyeon. But how could she do it? She was just a woman. 

 

_ No. From now on, you’re Lee, you’re a young man, you have nothing to fear.  _

 

The first days were hard. She had to adjust to her new life. She ran away from a life made of lies, yet she was creating another one. She didn’t like that but she had no choice. 

 

Finally, she decided to join some merchants on a boat. She convinced them that she could be helpful and they let her in. 

 

Sharing the proximity of so many men, it was hard. Sometimes, she wanted to give up, she wanted to cry, she wanted her comfortable life to come back. During these times, she would think about Hakyeon, about the fact that perhaps he needed help, he needed to be saved, and that would give her strength. 

 

Every time they would stop in a port, she would ask everywhere if someone heard about a lady or a young man being kidnapped by pirates calling themselves “ Son of the Dragon. “ But every time, people would shake their heads and look at her as if she was crazy.

 

A month went by. One night, they stopped in a small town. She was wandering in a pub, still asking the same questions, still having the same disappointing answers. She sat at a table, sighing and taking her head in her hands. She felt like she was going nowhere.

 

Suddenly, someone sat in front of her. She raised her head, on her guard. The person in front of her was wearing a black cloak, covering their face and body. They leaned across the table and whispered. 

 

“ Be careful who you ask for. “

 

It didn’t take long for Amber to understand what the person was talking about. 

 

“ You mean… you know something about the Son of the Dragon? Are you… Are you one of them? “

 

She was scared, but at the same time, happiness and excitement were flooding through her body. The person took her arm and stood up, dragging her with them. 

 

“ Wait, what are you- “

 

“ Don’t talk about that here. They have ears everywhere. They will know you’re looking for them. “

 

Soon, the person led her to a deserted and dark street. It was stupid, but Amber stood there, waiting for the person to talk. She was too curious about what they were going to say to leave. Then, the person took off their cloak, and Amber repressed a surprised whimper. In front of her, there was a beautiful lady, long and dark hair falling on her shoulders, fierce eyes and a strong aura emitting from her. 

 

“ Why are you looking for these pirates? You don’t look like one. “

 

“ W-What made you believe that? “

 

The woman snorted.

 

“ You’re careless and naive. You don’t even look like you know how to fight. I’ve heard about you in other towns. There are rumors about someone looking for the Son of The Dragon. How long exactly do you plan on surviving like this? You don’t even carry a weapon nor do you have someone by your side. “

 

Amber bit her lip, shameful, and looked down. She felt like a kid being scolded.

 

“ I… I didn’t know it was… “

 

“ Yes, you don’t know. That’s the problem. We didn’t attack you because you looked defenseless, but we still have to know what are your intentions. Now answer me. Why are you looking for them? “

 

She hesitated to answer, but the lady moved her coat and she could see the flash of a sword attached to her belt. 

 

“ They… They took someone from my family. I want to find him, he’s an important person to me. “

 

The woman cocked an eyebrow, apparently not buying what she said.

 

“ Making fun of me isn’t the smartest move to make. You would want me to believe they took a man without killing him, keeping him alive? “

 

“ I’m telling the truth! They wanted a ransom! “

 

The woman in front of her crossed her arms on her chest. 

 

“ Then why can’t you or your family pay it? They aren’t dumb. They wouldn’t kidnap someone without being sure their family can pay the ransom. “

 

“ It’s… complicated. It’s a long story. “

 

“ Tell me then, you’ve made me curious. After you finish, I’ll decide if I’ll believe you or not. “

 

That being said, she sat on a huge wooden box, apparently ready to hear about the whole story. Amber sighed, seeing that she had no other choice. 

 

She told her about the attack, about her cousin hiding her and being kidnapped in her stead. She told her about her parents not doing anything to find him, she told her how she found out they were lying from the start and how they planned everything to kill Hakyeon and how she ran away so she could look for him, because deep inside of her heart, she knew he was still alive, waiting for her to save him. Once she finished her story, she realized tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. She quickly wiped them, not wanting to look weak. The woman, that had stayed silent until then, stood up. She had a serious look on her face and seemed softer than before. She came closer to her and put her hands on her shoulders.

 

“ Alright, I believe you. You don’t sound like a liar, and the tears in your eyes were real. No one can fake such painful emotions on their face. Listen… You really want to find him, right? “

 

Amber nodded, not daring to look into the woman’s eyes. 

 

“ We are pirate hunters. We chase pirates that are wanted in exchange for a ransom from the government. We don’t follow anyone's orders, we have our own rules. We are free to do as we want if we don’t do anything illegal of course. Would you like to join us? If you keep wandering alone like that, following strangers into dark alleys, you’re going to be killed... We’ve been tracking the crew of the Son of the Dragon for months. we can teach you how to fight, so when the day comes, you can take revenge from these pirates. “

 

Amber’s mind went blank. Could she believe her? Somehow, she wanted to. She raised her head, shyly smiling. 

 

“ I don’t know what to answer… I was afraid, I was lost, I didn’t know what to do to survive and to be useful to my cousin, and suddenly you come in like this, offering everything I need? That sounds like a dream. “

 

The woman smiled to her, and her heart did a strange twist. 

 

“ It’s okay, I understand that it might be hard for you, but believe me .  We can help you, and once you know how to fight, you can be helpful to us as well. “

 

Amber knew it wasn’t something she should decide so suddenly but perhaps tomorrow, the beautiful woman and her offer would be gone. 

 

“ Alright. I accept. Nothing holds me here anyway. Just give me a moment so I can gather my stuff and bid my goodbyes to the merchants I came with. “

 

“ Good, I’m glad you accept. I would have felt guilty to leave you alone like this. By the way, my name is Krystal. I’m the captain of the pirate hunters. “

 

_ Krystal. That’s a really beautiful name. That sounds fragile and luxurious, yet she is a strong and independent woman.  _

 

“ What’s your name, young man? “

 

Amber blushed, realizing her disguise was too perfect and that she didn’t tell her about her true identity. It was probably the second stupid thing she did that night, but she didn’t care. She trusted this Krystal. 

 

“ Well… In fact, I’m not a young man. I’m a young lady. My name is Amber. “

 

Krystal seemed surprised but didn’t say anything. She probably knew that to survive in this world, she had no other choice. She extended a hand, waiting for her to shake it. Her grip was strong, and her hand warm. 

 

“ Nice to meet you, Amber. Welcome to our crew. I promise you, we’re going to rescue your damsel in distress. “

  
  
  
  
  


______________________

 

“ Hey, Hakyeon, what are you doing? “

 

The man turned his head, facing a curious Jaehwan and a grumpy Hongbin. 

 

_ Jaehwan probably annoyed and played a trick on him. Good thing to know he’s still alive after that.  _

 

Hakyeon shrugged, turning his attention back to the sea. 

 

“ I don’t know, I was thinking. “

 

“ About what? “

 

Jaehwan was at his side, and Hongbin on the other; all of them resting their hands on the wooden fence of the ship. 

 

“ Leave him alone, Jaehwan. Perhaps he doesn’t want to talk about it. “

 

Hakyeon shook his head, chuckling. 

 

“ No, it’s fine. I was just thinking about my cousin, Amber. I really miss her, I wonder how she’s doing. “

 

He looked sad, and Jaehwan hated that. He pecked his cheek, making him jump in surprise. 

 

“ Hey, it’s fine. We’re here, now. We are your family, right? “

 

Hongbin, surprisingly, also placed a soft kiss on his opposite cheek. 

 

“ For once, he’s right. Don’t be sad. It doesn’t look good on you. “

 

Hakyeon smiled.

 

“ I know, I know you’re here. Thank you, guys. “

 

They didn’t say anything, but stayed by his side, looking at the infinite ocean around them. 


	16. vicious butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanghyuk offers pure comrade services. Taekwoon is angsty. Hakyeon discover a new kink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for this chapter: mention of child abuse
> 
> yell at me on twitter anytime

They’ve on the sea for a week, on their way to meet the pirate queen and Taekwoon couldn’t help but avoid them. He hated how it was more difficult on this tiny boat than in the gigantic caves on their island. 

 

It wasn’t that he was avoiding his friends. In fact, he was avoiding his feelings. He knew he would have to face them someday. But for now, he was cowardly hiding. 

 

The only person he was talking to was Hakyeon, who didn’t hesitate to remind him he had to teach him how to fight properly. When they took small breaks to drink water and catch their breath, he would always say the same thing. 

 

“ When are you going to talk to them? You know you can’t run away forever. You need to face what you feel. “

 

And Taekwoon would always ignore his question, just nodding then changing the topic. But one day, Hakyeon didn’t let him avoid the question anymore. He grabbed his hand and forced Taekwoon to look at him.

 

“ Hey, I don’t want to seem annoying but I think you should REALLY talk to them. They miss you, Taekwoon. You’re important to them and they keep thinking they did something wrong. Hongbin and his two lovers… they are afraid that it’s their fault. That you don’t accept them. “

 

Taekwoon didn’t say anything, eyes glued to the floor. He knew he was the one who was wrong. He knew it. He also knew how the others felt when he was like this. Last time it happened, he had received a punch from Wonshik. 

 

“ I… I really want to but it’s scary, Hakyeon. Opening up is scary. I feel like if I do that, I’ll be weak and I won’t be able to protect them. What if I cry in front of them? They would probably laugh at me or think I’m a bad captain. “

 

Hakyeon stroked the back of his hand with his thumb, smiling fondly. 

 

“ Oh, Taekwoon, that’s why you’re afraid? Don’t worry, it will be fine. Showing your feelings isn’t a weakness. It just shows that you trust them enough to do it. You can do it with me, right? “

 

Taekwoon blushed, biting his lower lip. 

 

“ That’s not the same thing… I feel… different about you. You know it. “

 

Hakyeon chuckled softly. 

 

“ What’s different? You love them as well, right? It doesn’t really matter how, because it’s obvious: you can’t love two people the same way. Everyone is different. Taekwoon, they’ve known you for such a long time. They grew up with you. You’re practically their only role model. How could they reject you? You’re always so devoted and so caring to them. Sometimes, you can let them take care of you as well. Just because you’re the captain, doesn’t mean you can’t be human as well. “

 

Taekwoon was still silent but he was listening Hakyeon with his full attention, thinking about his words. He wasn’t wrong. He did love them; perhaps in a different way than Hakyeon, but probably as much as he loved him. They were all important to him. He couldn’t imagine his life without them. 

 

“ I know that it might be scary and intimidating to talk to all of them, so why don’t you try to do it one by one? You can start with Wonshik. He’s the closest to you, right? I also think he’s the most comfortable to talk with. When you’re with him, you don’t feel judged. He’s a good listener and will always be gentle with you. He’s also the most worried about this situation. “

 

Taekwoon finally raised his head, meeting his eyes. His eyes were so warm and caring. At that moment, he desperately wanted to kiss him and properly confess how he felt. Hakyeon was always there whenever he needed him, always knew what to do, always had the right words. Having him by his side made him feel safe. He knew despite opening up to the others, he could probably not feel this way with them. Hakyeon was just different. Kindness, love, affection and maturity were emanating from him. How had he lived all this time without him? 

 

“ Yes, you’re right. You’re always right. I will try to do it tomorrow. “

 

Hakyeon gently scolded him. 

 

“ No, you won’t try it tomorrow, you will do it now! “

 

Taekwoon pouted, glaring at him. 

 

“ But… I’m not ready… “

 

“ You will never be ready. If you keep pushing it, you will never do it. So just go. Do you want me to go downstairs and tell him that you want to have a talk with him? “

 

Taekwoon took a moment to think about it. The thought of confronting his feelings right now was making him panic a bit, but he had to trust Hakyeon and the others. So he gave a final nod, and Hakyeon stood up, looking like he had won a battle. Which wasn’t entirely wrong. He patted his head as if Taekwoon was a cat, and left him.

 

A few moments later, Wonshik was there, taking Hakyeon’s previous spot and sitting next to him, a little bit hesitant. He didn’t really know what to expect, especially when Hakyeon only told him “ the captain wants to see you, he has something to say. “ Wonshik was afraid. What if he was about to finally tell him he didn’t accept his relationship with Hongbin and Sanghyuk and asked him to choose between them and staying in his crew? 

 

“ So, uh, what did you want to talk about? Did I… do something wrong? “

 

Taekwoon turned his head toward him, eyes widened. 

 

“ You- what? No, No! It’s not you! Don’t worry! “

 

Wonshik seemed to relax a bit, so Taekwoon took a deep breath before talking again. 

 

“ It’s me. I’m the one who did something wrong. I don’t communicate, and it’s burdening everyone. I want.... I want to try and open up to you guys. I truly want to. But it’s scary, I’ve never done it before. It feels like taking off armor. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? “

 

“ Well… I guess it’s a good start. You say you want to make more effort, that’s good! “

 

“ Then… What do I say? “

 

Wonshik shrugged. 

 

“ I don’t know, what’s bugging you? What you think is causing problems? “

 

“ It’s not really that it bothers me… It’s more like, there are lots of new feelings that I struggle to understand, lots of new situations, it’s hard to catch up. I always lived in my own fortress that I built to protect me and you all, away from any feelings. But it’s collapsing. My whole world is collapsing. “

 

“ That’s not true. “

 

“ What? “

 

“ You said you were avoiding feelings, but it’s not true. Since the beginning, you have loved us and cared for us. You would give your life for us. That’s called feelings. “

 

Taekwoon thought about what Wonshik just said and nodded. 

 

“ Sounds rights. I’ve always had feelings. Then… Why does it feel different now? “

 

Wonshik looked at him, furrowing his eyebrows. 

 

“ What do you mean? “

 

“ I think the feelings changed. I became aware of them because they changed. “

 

“ How did they change? “

 

“ I don’t know how to explain it, I always thought about you like family, like my own children. And suddenly, Hakyeon came into the picture, and you guys are… together… and it woke something else in me. Something warmer, bigger, but also scarier and unknown. I can’t understand what’s happening to me. “

 

Wonshik smiled softly and just like Hakyeon before, he patted his head. Taekwoon glared at Wonshik, but he was too used to it to be affected. 

 

“ Oh, Woonie, you’re so adorable. “

 

“ I’m not!! And don’t call me that! “

 

Wonshik only chuckled. 

 

“ Yeah, yeah, sure. Anyway, I think you will figure that out soon. Only you can know the answer. Perhaps you should start by… I don’t know, confessing to Hakyeon? “

 

Taekwoon blushed and averted his eyes. There was no point denying it. It was the truth and the whole crew seemed to know it. 

 

“ Yeah… I just… I am waiting for the right timing. “

 

“ Of course, no need to rush it, do it when you feel ready. This is the first time you fell in love, right? That’s adorable. He’s your first love. “

 

Taekwoon became even redder, hoping he could disappear right that moment. Wonshik sighed, letting his head rest against the fence. 

 

“ Ah, I’m so relieved. I was afraid that you would talk about Bin, Hyogie and me; saying you can’t accept our relationship, but it was just our captain being overwhelmed by his own feelings! “

 

“ No,guys, I would never! I’m really happy for you, seriously. I have to admit, I was feeling a little bit… jealous? I don’t know why. But you seem to get along together and if you’re happy it’s all that matters. “

 

There was a silence between them, both not looking at each other but at the sea in front of them and the sun almost setting, setting the ocean on fire. 

 

“ When I think about how we started… you guys grew up so well. I’m so thankful that I got to meet you all. “

 

_ Especially you. My loyal Wonshik. You’re like a solid rock for me, you’re my anchor.  _

 

“ Taekwoon… Are you… are you alright? “

 

“ Yes, of course, why? “

 

“ You never share your fears, your weaknesses, your nightmares. I know you have them. I know sometimes you can’t sleep unless Hongbin makes you some special tea. You can tell me, you know. It’s not good to bottle them up , trying to never let them out. One day they might devour you. “

 

Taekwoon hugged his knees, digging his nails in his forearms. Yes, that was true, he never talked about what kept him awake at night. Perhaps Wonshik was right. Perhaps talking about them would make them feel less scary, sharing them with someone would weaken them.

 

“ You know… I can’t remember what they did to me. “

 

He didn’t have to specify who he was talking about. Wonshik knew. 

 

“ I just remember the pain. I remember the bruises, the scars on my body. I remember laying alone, on the cold floor, crying. Sometimes, when I try to sleep, I can still feel it. I feel so weak and vulnerable, despite being an adult. “

 

Without realizing, tears started to fall, wetting his pale face. Wonshik looked at him, hating how he sounded so miserable, struggling to talk between his sobs. He seemed so small and just like he said, vulnerable. He couldn’t resist it and he took him in his arms. 

 

“ It’s okay, Woonie. They won’t hurt you anymore. I’m here. I will protect you. When it’s hard like this, you can always count on me. I’ll be your eyes when your vision is blurred by your tears. I will be your ears when you don’t want to hear anything. I will be your legs and your arms when you’re shaking too much to walk. You don’t have to tell all of that to everyone. Telling just me is already great. I’m proud of you. I know it’s hard. “

 

Taekwoon didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Wonshik was saying everything he needed to hear. As usual, he was able to tell how he was feeling and knew how to deal with it. 

 

They stayed like that for a while, until they were surrounded by darkness. 

 

“ We should get down, the others are probably worried about us. Will you be okay? Do you want to eat with us or do you want space? “

 

Another thing Taekwoon loved about him. Most of the time, he insisted that he ate with them, even if he was grumpy, but sometimes he would understand and leave him space to breathe and gather himself. 

 

“ Yes, please. I don’t want the others to see me like this. “

 

Wonshik chuckled, wiping his face with his sleeve. 

 

“ They won’t mind, you know that. They might be annoying sometimes but they know when to stop. But if you need some time we will give it to you. Just… don’t take too much. We are waiting for our captain. We need you. “

 

Taekwoon nodded. 

 

“ I’ll come back even stronger. Just wait for me. “

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


______________

  
  


“ I hope everything is going well upstairs… “

 

Hongbin looked at Hakyeon, as they were both preparing the evening’s food. 

 

“ Of course it is. Nothing can go badly with Wonshik. “

 

“ Well… last time he punched Taekwoon… “

 

Hongbin snorted. 

 

“ He deserved it. He needed to get some common sense back. “

 

Hakyeon laughed with him, then his face became serious again. There was something he wanted to ask Hongbin, but he didn’t know if it would be okay to talk about it. Finally, he gathered all his courage and took a big breath before talking. 

 

“ Uhh, Hongbin… I was wondering… How is it, to be with two different people at the same time? I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine, you don’t have to- “

 

“ No, it’s fine, I’m okay with it. I know it might be a … difficult concept to accept. I know not everyone will accept it. “

 

Hongbin laughed bitterly. 

 

“ Don’t you find it amusing? We’re pirates, we’re supposed to be free from every law, every chain of society. But loving more than one person at the same time? Oh God no, unimaginable. We set ourselves boundaries and limits even when we think we’re free. What’s true freedom anyway? “

 

“ I don’t know, I don’t think someone from this world has the answer. But the important thing is to be happy. You’re happy with Wonshik and Sanghyuk, right? “

 

Hongbin nodded, eyes glued on the fish he was cutting, trying to hide the slight blush on his cheeks. 

 

“ Yes. It surprised me, and it still continues to amaze me. Not that long ago, Sanghyuk was jealous of Wonshik, even if he knew I would never do something behind his back. And now, they are both getting along so well, it’s … odd, to see Sanghyuk give a morning kiss to a sleepy Wonshik as if they have been doing that for years. “

 

“ Do you think they became closer because of the love they share for you? “

 

Hongbin nodded. 

 

“ Of course, it was the starting point. But they also have a lot of affection for each other, without even realizing it. You know, even if we all grew up together, these two never really talked together about their feelings. They are pretty similar, actually. They look like wild beasts but are soft inside. Especially Wonshik. “

 

He said the last sentence with a small smile, making Hakyeon smile as well. It was adorable to see his friend’s blooming love. Hongbin continued, not even realizing he was bragging about his lover.

 

“ Wonshik is so adorable! We didn’t even know but he writes poems and even songs! He's so talented, it seems like he can do everything. Well, surprisingly, he's an amazing warrior yet he's so clumsy… It's been a long time since I learned that I should not trust him with carrying fragile things. '' 

 

Hakyeon laughed. He had already noticed that most of the time, Wonshik looked like he was in another world, eyes unfocused and movements clumsy. That's why he wasn't surprised to know he was a musician and a poet; those was truly the behaviors of an artist, always lost in his own creativity. 

 

“ How is Sanghyuk? “

 

“ Well… As I said, they are similar yet different. They are both very reliable and I feel safe with them. With Wonshik, I feel like if I closed my eyes and let myself fall, I would land in feathers and a cotton bed. But with Sanghyuk, if I do the same thing, my back would meet a solid rock. It’s hard to explain, but they complete each other. It’s a perfect balance.  Sanghyuk… he changed a lot, through time. he used to be a wild and uncivilized kid, not caring about other people. I was the first one he opened up to. He would be careful to not hurt me, to not do anything that could scare me. He’s a really protective lover, too. With him, I can allow myself to be vulnerable. I know he will be there for me. Yet, he still has that roughness, but I don’t mind it. I like it…  a little bit rough. “

 

He smirked and Hakyeon didn’t get what he meant by that at first. When he finally understood, he blushed and choked on his own spit. 

 

“ Hongbin!! I do not need to know that!!! “

 

Hongbin laughed, not at all embarrassed. Hakyeon sighed. So he was shy talking about feelings, but when it came to talking about the naughty things he was doing with Sanghyuk everything was fine. Noted. 

 

“ Is it … that good? “

 

“ What? “

 

“ Don’t do that! You know what I’m talking about! **_Those_ ** things! “

 

Hongbin was still laughing, apparently having lots of fun tormenting the tanned man. 

 

“ You mean, having sex with Sanghyuk or in general? “

 

Hakyeon blushed even harder, hiding his face behind his hands. It was a mistake to ask about that. 

 

“ Well, I can only talk for Sanghyuk since the only other man I did it with was Wonshik, but with Sanghyuk it’s  _ divine _ . Heavenly. Mystical. Transcendent. Exalting. “

 

“ STOP. I GOT IT. FORGET WHAT I ASKED. “

 

“ Oh my God, You’re so adorable Hakyeon, innocent little virgin. “

 

Hakyeon glared at him. 

 

“ Stop that, I said. “

 

“ Stop what? “

 

Hakyeon jumped, startled by the curious voice behind him.

 

He turned to meet Sanghyuk’s dark eyes, scanning him as if he could see through him. That definitely didn't make him feel better. 

 

“ Nothing! It’s nothing! “

 

He dropped the spoon he was holding and left, hoping to find a quiet place to hide. He was followed by Hongbin’s mocking laughter echoing in his ears. 

  
  
  


_________________

  
  
  


That night, Hakyeon had difficulty sleeping. He was usually the first one to sleep, even before Wonshik’s snoring would begin. But tonight, something was different. He had too many things in mind. He was thinking about Taekwoon. He hadn’t seen him at dinner, but Wonshik told him he was alright and needed to be alone for now. He was also thinking about Jaehwan, about how he felt whenever he’s next to him, holding his arm or resting his head on his shoulder. He was thinking about Hongbin’s words, haunting him. He was thinking about Sanghyuk’s inscrutable eyes. He was feeling too hot. He was already stripped down to his shirt, should he take it off as well? For some reason, the thought of being naked under his cover in that tiny space with the other boys made him feel embarrassed, so he pushed that idea aside. Maybe he should go upstairs to get some fresh air and drink water? Just when he was about to move, he froze, hearing a sound he wasn’t familiar with coming from the other side of the room, where the two youngest men usually slept. 

 

He felt the temperature rise again when the sound was heard again. It couldn't be that. The third time, he was sure. They were moans. Hongbin’s moans, he could tell. They were a bit muffled, but still loud enough for Hakyeon to hear them. For a moment, Hakyeon wished Hongbin was just hurt, perhaps a stomach ache. But soon, he could hear someone else’s groans and a body moving, fabric rustling, and Hongbin panting Sanghyuk’s name, a faint sound escaping his mouth. 

 

He hated them. He hated them so much at this moment. What were they thinking, doing  **_these_ ** things when the others were in the same room? But thinking about it, they didn’t really have a choice. To go outside, they would have to go past Jaehwan, Wonshik and Hakyeon’s mat in the dark, without tripping over them and potentially waking them up. What they didn’t expect was Hakyeon to be awake that late. 

 

What should he do? Make them aware that he could hear everything, or try to ignore them? No, if they realized he could hear them, they could be awkward and too embarrassed. The best option was to ignore them and act as if nothing was wrong. Yes, nothing was happening.

 

But his body didn’t agree with that choice. Soon, he was feeling too hot, it was almost unbearable. He was suffocating under his cover. He wanted to kick it aside, but he was afraid of being noticed by the sound it might produce. Not to mention he was feeling a weird thing at the bottom of his stomach. It reminded him of the butterflies he felt whenever Taekwoon was close to him, but these butterflies seemed more vicious. These were awakening his dick. To his horror, he felt himself get hard as Hongbin’s moans became more and more erratic, his voice going higher. He remembered what he said about Sanghyuk. 

 

_ Between his arms, he’s feeling vulnerable. Weak. At his mercy. _

 

__ He wondered how Hongbin looked when he was like that? He had never witnessed such an expression on his face. But by the sounds he was making, he could easily imagine his head thrown back, eyes pressed close and mouth open, his back arched and shaking as he was desperately trying to hold on something, perhaps Sanghuyk’s muscular arms or large back, his nails leaving red marks.  

 

Oh no. 

 

Why did he imagine that. 

 

It was so much worse like this. 

 

He mentally cursed himself, his hands grabbing the cover, and eyes closed as if it could erase the images that were haunting him. 

 

What about Sanghyuk? What did he look like when he was focused on giving his partner pleasure, as much as he was getting? His brows furrowed and his dark lustful eyes on him, his strong arms pinning him, not allowing him to move or to touch himself. 

 

_ He likes it a little rough. Sanghyuk is a beast. He is rough. But at the same time, you can trust him. He will never cross your boundaries.  _

 

Why was he thinking about that? Why did he want to feel those hands on him so much? Before he could even realize it, one of his hands released the sheet and slid along his body, lifting his shirt up. 

 

When was the last time he had touched himself? He had no idea. Since he met the pirates, things had gotten too busy for him to even think about that. And even before, he had never really felt the need to do it. He didn’t even know what turned him on, what he was attracted to. What was the point of masturbating if he didn’t know what to think about? He wanted to laugh at himself. Voyeurism? Really? That was what turned him on? 

 

He felt so shameful, slowly stroking his dick, biting his lips so hard to not let a sound escape from his mouth. So shameful, yet so aroused. Judging by Sanghyuk’s and Hongbin’s frantic noises, they were coming to their climax. They were becoming louder and louder, the pleasure making them forget the risk, or perhaps they just didn’t care? 

 

How the fuck was Wonshik still snoring and Jaehwan asleep? 

 

That thought distracted Hakyeon from keeping his mouth shut, and a traitorous soft moan found a way to escape. For a brief moment, Hakyeon hoped the two lovers were too focused on each other to care about what was happening outside, perhaps their respective moans and groans, in addition to Wonshik’s snores, were able to cover it. But his hopes were shattered when he heard them stop any movement and sound. There was a silence in the room, then a whisper. 

 

“ Hakyeon? “

 

It was at this moment that he knew he fucked up. There was only one solution for him. The exit. The fugue. The flight. The escape. He got up to his feet as soon as he could, tripping on his cover, dropping to a knee on the floor before quickly raising up again, escalating the ladder to get out. 

 

The silence remained for a moment after he left until Hongbin finally let out a loud sigh, exasperated. He pushed Sanghyuk away, not caring about his protests. 

 

“ I told you it was a bad idea. Why can’t you stop being horny for a second and tell your dick to sleep? “

 

“ Hey, you totally agreed on this! You really weren’t hard to convince! “

 

Hongbin ignored him, sitting up and crossing his arms on his chest. 

 

“ What are we going to do now? Poor thing must be so embarrassed. I’m afraid he might even jump into the sea. “

 

Sanghyuk scratched the back of his head, not embarrassed at all to know they have been caught and heard  **_really well_ ** . He was more annoyed that they couldn’t finish. He tried to take Hongbin in his arms again but once more, he was pushed away. 

 

“ No, can’t you fucking wait! I’m serious, Sanghyuk. Go and take care of Hakyeon first. “

 

Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow, even though Hongbin couldn’t see his surprised face.

 

“ You mean… Are you sure about this? “

 

“ Just go. I’m not giving you what you want before you go anyway. “

 

Sanghyuk rose up, fumbling to find his pants. He wasn’t sure if Hakyeon really wanted to see him with his dick out. 

  
  
  


_________________

  
  
  


Hakyeon was on the deck, facing the sea, his hands gripping the fence in front of him. The cold wind was messing with his hair and his shirt, but it wouldn’t cool down the temperature of his body, his dick still fully and painfully hard between his legs. But he was resigned to wait until the end of the night if needed. He refused to touch himself again. Not when he was just caught getting off on his friends having an intimate exchange. 

 

“ Hey, Hakyeon? “

 

Sanghyuk’s voice behind him was a whisper, but it still made him jump. He didn’t want to face him, so he addressed the ocean in front of him.

 

“ Listen, I’m really sorry, I really didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry I- “

 

He could feel Sanghyuk’s presence coming closer to him, and he felt his muscles tensing. 

 

“ Hey, it’s alright. You don’t need to worry about that. It’s not a big deal. “

 

“ Not a big deal?? Sanghyuk, I was  **_masturbating_ ** to the sound of you two having  **_sex_ ** . That really IS a big deal. “

 

Sanghyuk said nothing but came even closer, his torso now touching Hakyeon’s back as he let out a little whimper. 

 

“ Okay, perhaps it’s a big deal. But don’t get all stressed about it. These things can happen, it’s our fault for not being more careful. You don’t need to apologize. It’s fine. Don’t be embarrassed by what your body wants. “

 

Hearing these words made Hakyeon relax a bit and his hands released the fence but suddenly, there were two strong hands resting on his waist. His body’s reaction was to relax even more, to his big surprise, but he didn't try to fight it. He was tired. He was horny. He was gay. He let his back rest against Sanghyuk’s chest behind him and closed his eyes. Hongbin was right. It was like being held by a solid rock. He felt safe. But there was still something bugging him. He tried to articulate a coherent sentence, as Sanghyuk’s hands were moving to his stomach, slowly. 

 

“ Sanghyuk… What about.. What about Hongbin? Is this okay? “

 

The answer came near his ear, Sanghyuk’s breath against his cheek. 

 

“ It was him who sent me here. It's okay. You know, it’s not only Hongbin, Wonshik and me. We’re in an open relationship. As long as the others agree, it’s fine. “

 

“ But Wonshik- “

 

He heard Sanghyuk’s deep chuckle.

 

“ It’s fine, I told you. You think he’s not thirsting over you when you’re not paying attention? He’s going to be so jealous… “

 

“ What?? “

 

“ Oh, Hakyeon, you have no idea. You have no idea how you are. You have no idea about the effect you have on us. We’re only weak men, Hakyeon. “

 

Hakyeon only hummed, not really listening, too distracted by the hands on his body. Despite the fabric of the shirt, he still felt Sanghyuk’s hands as if they were burning him. It was so good. It was too good. He had no idea where this was going. But he didn’t mind. He wanted to get rid of that damn erection. 

 

Sanghyuk’s hands were sliding down, slowly lifting the shirt up, just like Hakyeon had earlier. But at that moment, Hakyeon opened his eyes wide and grabbed Sanghyuk’s wrists firmly, stopping him from going further. Immediately, the younger froze. 

 

“ Yeon? Is something wrong? “

 

“ Stop. Please. Just- Just go away, please. “

 

Sanghyuk hesitated but stepped back, waiting a bit, unsure about what he should do. Hakyeon definitely did not look alright, he couldn’t leave him like this.

 

“ Please, Sanghyuk. I’m fine. “

 

His voice was weird as if he was holding back his tears. He definitely didn’t look fine, but Sanghyuk didn’t want to go against his will and was afraid of touching him again. No matter what was happening, he didn’t want physical contact, and there was nothing more he could do if Hakyeon refused to talk. Without a word, he left him, sending a last glance to the silhouette that looked so fragile under the pale moonlight, hugging himself, head low. 

 

When he got back to his lover, he found him already asleep. He sighed and went under the covers, throwing his arms around the man’s body, mumbling something about getting scammed by some pretty eyes. 

  
  
  
  
  


___________________________

  
  
  
  


Hakyeon felt so stupid. He hated himself so much. He freaked out. Sanghyuk was offering him a handjob when he was previously getting hard just thinking about that. Instead of getting mad, he fucking offered to satisfy his fantasy without asking something in exchange. Pure comradeship. And he freaked out, because before that no one had touched him. He got scared. He didn’t even know what about; he didn’t need to do anything. Just relax and let Sanghyuk make him feel good. Then why? Why did he get scared out of nowhere? It was ridiculous. And now, Sanghyuk was probably mad at him. He fucked everything up. He crouched on the floor, sobbing, feeling so pathetic. 

 

He stayed there for a moment, waiting until the tears stopped falling and his body stopped shaking. He realized that he was probably still shaking because he was cold. He stood up, stumbling to his feet, too tired to walk straight. The sky was already getting paler. 

 

He went downstairs, trying to make as little noise as possible as to not wake up the others and enveloped himself with his cover, shivering. His heart stopped when he heard someone moving, struggling to come across the room to finally lay next to him. 

 

“ Are you feeling better ? “

 

It was Sanghyuk. Had he waited for him all this time, just to be sure he was alright? Hakyeon nodded, before realizing he wouldn’t see him in the darkness. 

 

“ Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry, it wasn’t against you, I just- “

 

“ Don’t apologize. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you feel okay. It’s fine if you’re not ready for these kinds of things, or if you never want them. “

 

Hakyeon hesitated for a moment before talking again. 

 

“ Did you… wait for me just to tell me that? “

 

“ Yes. I didn’t want us to be awkward after that. I care too much about you. I care too much about the relationship we’ve built until now. “

 

There was silence again. Hakyeon didn’t know what to say. He was touched by what Sanghyuk said. He was happy, despite the previous tempest of negative feelings that had drained him. 

 

“ Can I… Can I come closer? Is it okay if I touch you? “

 

“ … Yes. “

 

His voice was weak, and Sanghyuk almost didn’t hear it, but as soon as he had Hakyeon’s consent, he got under his cover and brought the smaller body against his, feeling the cold skin warming up at the contact. Hakyeon didn’t say anything, just let himself finally relax within these strong and protective arms. Hakyeon was about to fall asleep, when a voice came from his left side. 

 

“ Can I get a hug too? “

 

Fuck. Since when was Jaehwan awake?

  
  



	17. braincell in perdition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for once, it's Wonshik who's responsible for the crew's brain cell since everyone else is a mess. In times like this, a lost captain and his dumb crew can count on the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys it's been a while I'm sorryyyyy work was killing me, but now I can rest a bit. In case you didn't know; my main account on twitter was suspended a few weeks ago so here my new account : @Hakyeons_hoe . I will soon make a thread of for every member's fashion in this fic! If there is something else you struggle to picture, ask me uwu I'll try to draw or explain it in the thread. Have a good reading!

  This morning, Taekwoon gathered his courage in his (large) hands. After the talk he had with Wonshik, he was able to recollect himself. He had spent the previous night crying a bit but thinking a lot. He didn't sleep well but when the sun rose again, he was ready. Or at least, he decided that he had to be ready.

 

  He didn't know what to expect when he got downstairs to eat breakfast with the others, but it was absolutely not all of them together, a weird ambiance floating in the air. Jaehwan was sitting in a corner, apparently trying really hard to hold back a burst of laughter, not facing  the others, as if meeting their eyes would end all his efforts to stay serious. Hongbin and Hakyeon were sitting next to each other, being careful not to touch the other. Taekwoon noticed that immediately because Hakyeon was usually really clingy, not caring if the younger had a problem with it and always had a hand on an arm or a shoulder. But today, he was putting a lot of effort into avoiding any contact as he was cutting some fruits, sending murderous glances to Jaehwan from time to time, a slight blush on his cheeks.

 

  Probably the strangest thing was that Hongbin and Hakyeon were sitting in a safe distance from each other and Sanghyuk was on Hakyeon's other side, his head resting on his shoulder with a protective arm slung around his waist, apparently taking a nap. Because he was much bigger than Hakyeon, he was a little behind him, draping over the small man with his huge stature. That was unusual. Most of the time, Sanghyuk would avoid Hakyeon's physical affection, grimacing if the older had an arm around his shoulder or pinched his cheeks, cooing that he was the cutest baby. When did he change his mind? Since when were they that close? He scrunched his nose, not liking that idea. It wasn't fair. He wanted to sleep against Hakyeon as well.

 

  When he was close to them, Sanghyuk opened his sleepy eyes, eyeing him with a strange expression, his arm tightening around Hakyeon’s waist. Hakyeon raised his head toward him, smiling shyly.

 

“ Good morning! How are you today? It’s great to see you with us again! “

 

Taekwoon blinked, having forgotten that he had been eating alone for days and the talk he had with Hakyeon and Wonshik. The disturbing sight of Sanghyuk being clingy to Hakyeon confused him. After recollecting his thoughts, he nodded and gestured to the tall man with his hand.

 

“  What is…  _ that _ ? “

 

“ Well, it’s Sanghyuk. You know, the kid you took under your wing who is part of your pirate crew, currently in an open relationship with Wonshik and I… “

 

Taekwoon was about to ignore Hongbin’s sarcastic comment when Jaehwan finally gave up on holding back and let out a burst of laughter. 

 

“ Oh my god Taekwoon, you’re missing out on SO MUCH by hiding in that room, you don’t even know- “

 

Hakyeon was the first one to stand up, cheeks red with panic in his eyes. 

 

“ JAEHWAN IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP- “

 

“ I’m not hiding! The room too small for me, I don’t like narrow places like that. And how could I sleep with Wonshik’s chaotic snoring? “

 

“ Excuse me?? My snoring isn’t THAT bad! “

 

Apparently, Wonshik was finally awake. 

 

“ Have you ever heard yourself?? One time I nearly choked you with my own blanket so you could finally shut the fuck up. “

 

“ Hongbin, you too?? “ 

 

Wonshik looked betrayed. He was looking at Hongbin with puppy eyes, imploring some support from his lover.

 

“ Why are you all so loud, the sun just rose… “

 

They all turned their heads toward Sanghyuk, who was hiding his face in Hakyeon’s neck, and everyone screamed with the same voice: 

 

“ SHUT UP AND GET OFF HAKYEON. “

  
  
  


_________________________

  
  


The breakfast was a bit chaotic but Hakyeon enjoyed the mood despite the mess. It was great to see them all fight and argue like normal young people, far from their usual angsty pirate image. Fortunately, they all seemed to forget about last night’s incident and Taekwoon hadn’t asked more about it. But Hakyeon didn’t. He was still struggling to look Hongbin in the eyes, constantly avoiding his gaze and being careful not to accidentally brush his hand against him. But as the afternoon was coming to an end, Hongbin seemed to have enough. He grabbed Hakyeon’s arm, who was about to turn his back and hide in a corner after bumping into him.

 

“ Hey Hakyeon, why are you avoiding me? Is it because my boyfriend offered you a handjob and you rejected him? “

 

Hakyeon became redder than the sun setting behind him. At this moment, Hongbin found him adorable. 

 

“ Hongbin!! Please don’t scream that everywhere! “

 

Hongbin shrugged, rolling his eyes to the sky. 

 

“ What, we’re all gay anyway. “

 

“ But Taekwoon doesn’t have to know about this!! “

 

The younger man in front of him smirked. 

 

“ Why are you so worried that he might find out? “

 

Hakyeon averted his eyes. Yes, why was it so embarrassing? It wasn’t like they were dating or anything. Deep inside, he knew the answer. He still remembered the hurt look on his face when he saw Jaehwan and him kissing. A simple and innocent kiss. So let’s not even think about dick stroking. As Hakyeon was thinking about that, Hongbin returned to the first topic. 

 

“ So, why are you embarrassed? “

 

“ Well… he is… your lover.. and I am… not… “

 

“ Yeah, what about that? He told you that we’re an open relationship, didn’t he? Not to mention I’m the one who sent him, I took pity on your dick. “

 

“ Hongbin could we PLEASE stop talking about my dick? “

 

“ Alright, cute little virgin. I won’t talk about your phallus anymore. “

 

He winked at him, and Hakyeon wanted so badly to throw him over the rails. Pretty boy is about to greet the fishes with his stupidly handsome face. 

 

“ Anyway, you don’t have to be awkward with me. It’s fine, and it doesn’t matter if you accepted it or not. He doesn’t feel offended. We would never force you into anything you’re not comfortable with. “

 

Hakyeon’s mood softened a bit. 

 

“ That’s… really nice. “

 

“ No, it’s not. It’s normal. So, we’re good? Now you can stop avoiding me. It’s too weird not feeling you clinging onto me the whole day. “

 

“ Awww, my pretty boy misses me? You’re so cute! “

 

He threw his arms around Hongbin, crushing him into a tight hug and making him whine. 

 

“ Oh no, I should have stayed quiet… “

 

But in reality, he was glad to see Hakyeon be himself again. Sanghyuk had told him what happened when he went to see him. He was afraid they might have pushed him too far. He didn’t want to lose Hakyeon’s affection. Before he had known it, it had become something indispensable to him. His natural happiness, his warmth, his reassuring smile, and his body, always so close. He had become addicted. 

  
  
  
  


_________________

  
  
  


Every time Hakyeon trained with him, Taekwoon was amazed. The man was improving very quickly. He was absorbing the information and the moves, not copying but interpreting them in his own way. Once Hakyeon had mentioned that he used to take dancing lessons with Amber, and now Taekwoon knew he wasn’t lying when he said he was pretty good at it. He was flexible, moving with lightness, almost dancing with the two short blades, his favorite weapons. 

 

They were slightly curved, not as big as Wonshik’s one and lighter. Taekwoon thought they fit him perfectly. Taekwoon personally preferred big ones. He liked how heavy they felt in his hands.

 

 Swords. He liked big swords. Watching Hakyeon training, his shirt slightly open, showing too much skin and the sweat dripping down his body wasn’t making him feel good. And the sun. Yes. He needed to drink more. 

 

“ Can you show me yours? I bet it’s big and thick! “

 

Taekwoon choked on his water, spilling the liquid on his own chest. He looked at Hakyeon, trying not to die.

 

Oh. Yes. His sword. He hadn’t noticed but Hakyeon had stopped moving and was inspecting the blades he was holding. He came closer to Taekwoon, patting his back, a concerned look on his face.

 

“ Hey, are you okay? Do you want me to call Hongbin? “

 

Taekwoon held a hand in front of him, gesturing that he was fine. After a moment, he calmed down and took deep breaths. He looked at Hakyeon, blushing and embarrassed that he had such thoughts about him.

 

“ Huh, can we stop for today? I’m not feeling well. I’m going to sleep in my room. See you later. “

 

And without an answer from the man, he ran away, hiding the obvious tent in his pants. He really needed to stop acting like a virgin every time his mind went a little too far. But he couldn’t help it. Picturing Hakyeon on his knees, between his legs, his mouth around his cock was too much. He couldn’t even understand why that thought had suddenly flashed in his mind when they were innocently exercising, absolutely no homo in the air. He was sure that it was the lovers trio’s fault. They were horny and his dick had probably caught that like you catch a cold. 

 

Once he was in his room, door locked, he leaned back against the wood, head thrown back. He closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths and clear his mind. 

 

Nope.

 

The thought was still there. 

 

He let out a desperate whine, letting himself slide down until he was sitting on the floor, still resting against the door. Sighing in defeat, he slid a shaking hand into his pants. This time, his dick won. 

  
  
  
  


________________

  
  


Hakyeon wasn’t really sure about what had just happened, but Taekwoon hadn’t looked fine. He said that he was, but he clearly didn’t look like it. He should probably send Hongbin to check on him anyway. Yup. He would do that. He wiped the sweat out of his face with a sleeve and put the swords on the floor, almost running to find Hongbin, not even stopping in front of Taekwoon’s room. He found Hongbin and Jaehwan in the laboratory, Jaehwan apparently teaching him how to read a certain word in a big book, probably something about medicine. They raised their heads as Hakyeon drew the curtain of the room, flashing some light into the dark room. 

 

“ Hey, Hongbin, if you’re not busy, could you check up on Taekwoon? He didn’t seem well and I’m a bit worried since he tends to hide when he’s having problems. “

 

Hongbin rolled his eyes and sighed, sounding exasperated as he shut the book. But Hakyeon knew it was an act and that he would still go to see Taekwoon and make sure he was alright. He put a hand on his shoulder as he was leaving. 

 

“ Thanks, Binnie! “

 

The other walked away, mumbling that he wasn’t their mom and that his kindness would end him. Hakyeon just laughed, looking at him fondly. Once he was left alone with Jaehwan, he realized it had been a long time since the two of them had a talk, just the two of them. He sat down next to him, taking the book in his hands and flipped through the pages. As expected, it was a medicine book, filled with complicated terms. 

 

“ You’re teaching him how to read? Even I struggle to understand all of this. You must be really smart! “

 

Jaehwan had an embarrassed laugh, avoiding to look into his eyes. 

 

“ Well, I just had the opportunity to study more than the others… “

 

The older man closed the book to take a better look at Jaehwan. 

 

“ Oh that’s right, you were a soldier! “

 

Jaehwan didn’t answer, but nodded, still not looking at him. That piqued Hakyeon’s curiosity. Jaehwan was usually so talkative and always overshared his thoughts, but when it came to talking about himself or his past, he would close up like a shellfish. 

 

“ I bet you were sexy in a uniform! What was your rank? “

 

“ It doesn’t matter anymore. “

 

“ Come on, tell me! Was it black and red, or white and gold like the higher officers? “

 

Jaehwan sighed. 

 

“ Why do you want to know? “

 

“ I want to learn more about you. I want to become closer to all of you. Oh, by the way, I was wondering, I know that the others lost their parents at a young age, but what about yours? Do you have a family? “

 

At this moment, Jaehwan abruptly stood up, shoving away the hand Hakyeon had put on his shoulder and glared at him. 

 

“ Mind your own fucking businesses. I didn’t ask you to become closer to me. Learn to maintain some distance between you and the people you don’t even know. “

 

He left the room, not turning back a single time, leaving Hakyeon dumbfounded and on the verge of tears. 

 

He didn’t understand what had just happened. Why was Jaehwan like this, suddenly? He had never heard him talk like that to anyone. Maybe he was right, after all. Maybe he should put some distance between himself and the others as well. After all, Jaewhan wasn’t wrong. He had known them for what, a few weeks? Months? He shouldn’t be butting in their private lives like that. 

 

He barely noticed when Hongbin came back, livid and a horrified look on his face.

 

“ Oh my god, I hate this ship. And I hate this crew. Why are you all so horny and- Hakyeon, are you crying? What happened? “

 

Quickly, he was by his side, kneeling down to be able to see his lowered face as tears were running down his cheeks. He softly held his face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. 

 

“ Hey, Yeonnie, what happened? Tell me, what’s wrong? “

 

Hakyeon choked out a sob, then another, before he calmed down enough to be able to talk. 

 

“ I’m fine, I just… had a little breakdown. I’ll be fine. “

 

“ Did something happen to trigger it? I haven’t known you for long but you definitely don’t look like someone that would break down so easily. “

 

Hakyeon sighed, biting his lower lip. 

 

“ Jaehwan… Jaehwan was a bit rough with me and- “

 

“ Really? Do you want me to cut off one of his fingers? “

 

The man sounded deadly serious, so Hakyeon quickly shook his head. 

 

“ No don’t do that! It’s fine, it was my fault. He was right. I realized… I barely know you. You are all full of secrets and don’t easily open up. And I mean, it’s normal; you’re pirates you’re not supposed to be always sloppy and emotional, and it’s me who kind of just… imposed myself. I’ve been thinking… Maybe I’m not needed here. Maybe I made the wrong decision. “

 

Suddenly, the man at his feet was gone, but there was a weight on his lap, and arms embraced him. His eyes widened as he processed the fact that Hongbin was sitting on his lap and hugging him.  

 

“ Don’t you ever dare think that again. We need you. You’ve changed so many things in a positive way since you’ve come into our lives. Do I have to list everything you did to make you feel better?  “

 

Hakyeon hummed. He needed to hear it. 

 

“ You brought love, Hakyeon. Ever since you came, we are all more open about our feelings for each other. Before you, we couldn’t even imagine that, it was like something taboo. I don’t really know how and when we started changing but… we did, and it’s all thanks to you. You’re…. you’re  _ magic _ . You’re like the glue uniting us, the one thing that was missing. You can have the strongest team with the best doctor, the bravest captain, the strongest warriors but if we can’t communicate, we can’t go far. Maybe you saved us. Taekwoon even had a talk with Wonshik and opened up about his insecurities, do you even realize what a big step that was? Jaehwan is an idiot. Don’t listen to him. You tried to ask him about his past, right? He’s always like that, we gave up a long time ago. Don’t worry about it. In a few hours, he will come to you, as loud and annoying as always, pretending that nothing happened. But I still can cut off his fingers if that would make you feel better. “

 

A strangled laugh came from Hakyeon’s mouth. 

 

“ It’s fine, Binnie. Thank you so much. I feel better now. “

 

“ Do you want to do something in particular? “

 

“ Like what? “

 

“ I don’t know, for example; when Sanghyuk has a breakdown he needs to fuck me roughly. I personally prefer to kill some people. “

 

Sometimes, Hakyeon forgot who he was with. 

 

“ Thanks, Binnie, I do not want to fuck someone, nor kill people. But… I won’t say no to hugging you a bit longer. “

 

“ Sure, but can we… move somewhere else? I feel a little bit cramped. I’m usually in this position with Sanghyuk but no offense… he’s larger and has stronger arms to hold me. “

 

Hakyeon laughed, following Hongbin as he led him outside, not letting his hand go. He brought him upstairs, where he was a few moments before with Taekwoon. They sat there and were about to start the cuddling session when Sanghyuk appeared. 

 

“ Hey, what are you doing, I saw you two coming here and- wait, is Hakyeon crying? What happened? “

 

Hakyeon wiped his red and puffy eyes as if that could make them go back to their usual appearance. Sanghyuk sat on the other side of Hakyeon. 

 

“It's fine now, Sanghyuk. He just needs a hug. “

 

“ Can I join? Two people would be more effective I think. “

 

Hakyeon laughed and nodded and Sanghyuk immediately pressed himself against the small man. They stayed like that for a while, not saying anything, just enjoying each other’s presence. Hakyeon looked up, admiring the clouds. They looked different than the ones he used to watch when he was still between the walls of his house. They looked more beautiful. A seagull flew by and Hakyeon smiled. How many times had he felt jealous when he saw birds flying, looking beautiful and free from any responsibilities? And now, he was feeling so relaxed in these men’s arms. He closed his eyes, feeling the light breeze of the sea caressing his skin. He wasn’t feeling out of place. He belonged here. 

 

After a moment, he started moving, feeling a bit numb, but Sanghyuk complained, not wanting to let him go. 

 

“ Please, can’t we stay like this for longer? Like forever? Actually, can’t you join us? “

 

Hakyeon shot Sanghyuk a surprised look.

 

“ What, are you serious? “

 

“ Of course? I’ve never been more serious! “

 

Hakyeon laughed, pushing the two men away and standing up, stretching his arms.

 

“ You’re cute, but no thanks. It’s not… I just can’t. Forget it. “

 

Sanghyuk pouted but didn’t protest. 

 

“ It’s fine. Platonic cuddles are nice too. But the offer is still there! “

 

The three of them went downstairs, laughing and teasing each other, until they found Wonshik, apparently waking up from a nap, still looking sleepy. 

 

“ What were you doing, guys? When I fell asleep, Sanghyuk was next to me but when I woke up I was alone. Did you just abandon me like that??? “

 

Sanghyuk snorted and Hakyeon shrugged. 

 

“ Oh, nothing important. We were just cuddling. “

 

“ Uh, really? Wow. How did you do that? “

 

“ Do what? “

 

“ Well, tame them. It took me YEARS to be able to hold Hongbin’s hand without it being chopped off. And Sanghyuk is… well, Sanghyuk. He’s usually not the one to initiate skinship. And you got these two to CUDDLE you?? “

 

“ Apparently? “

 

Hongbin rolled his eyes to the sky. 

 

“ You’re overreacting, Wonshik. “

 

“ Excuse me?? You fucking bit me when I confessed to you, I still have the scar! “

 

“ It’s not like you didn’t have anyone to cuddle with, Jaehwan never complained when you came to him for that. “

 

Wonshik looked around them. 

 

“ Oh, by the way, where is he? “

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaehwan was hiding. Well, hiding was maybe a  big word, on this small ship. He was just sitting in the storage room, where Hakyeon used to be when he was still a hostage under Amber’s identity. And he was sulking. Arms hugging his legs, and chin resting on his knees, a pout on his lips. That’s how Wonsik found him when he opened the door. 

 

“ Jyani? What are you doing there? “

 

The blond man only glared at him, the pout on his lips increasing. Wonshik only chuckled, coming to sit next to him after closing the door. None of them brought candles and the room had no windows, so they were quickly left in darkness. 

 

“ Tell me what happened. Did you fight with one of the guys? “

 

There was a silence, and for a moment Wonshik thought Jaehwan would ignore him. 

 

“ … I hate Hakyeon. “

 

Wonshik turned in the direction of his voice, even if he couldn’t see the expression on his face. 

 

“ What? “

 

“ You heard me, I hate him. “

 

“ But… Why? You two get along well, right? Didn’t you kiss him? “

 

“ That doesn’t change the fact that I hate him! “

 

Wonshik sighed.

 

“ Please, explain yourself. This doesn’t make any sense. “

 

“ Well… Before he came in, all of you were giving me attention. I was the center of it. Every time I would laugh or make a joke, all of you would smile and even cuddle me. Especially you. Since he’s arrived, all you can think about is him. And now, you’re in a relationship with Hongbin and Sanghyuk and don’t have time for me. It’s all his fault. “

 

So that was it. Jaehwan was jealous. Wonshik should find it ridiculous and childish, but for him, it was adorable. He extended an arm hesitantly, luckily finding his target, and brought Jaehwan closer to him. 

 

“ Jyani, what are you saying! We still love you a lot! I’m sorry, that’s true, I’ve been neglecting my favorite puppy a bit. But don’t be mad at Hakyeon! He’s new, and it’s normal that we give him special treatment. All of us are different. All of us get special treatment. Instead of sulking in the dark, why don’t you ask for cuddles? Are you shy? “

 

“ … A little bit. You guys look so… in love and happy. You’re with Hongbin and Sanghyuk and the three of you are in your own world. Hakyeon and Taekwoon keep running in circles around each other, flirting and being stupidly oblivious. So what can I do? “

 

“ Don’t be scared! You will never be rejected. Even if you don’t share the same feelings as us, you’re our friend, our brother, right? You’re a part of us. I can talk to the others so they will make an effort to make you feel more included, alright? “

 

“ Mmmh, yes, please… Thank you, Shikkie… “

 

Wonshik laughed with that warm and deep voice that made everyone feel better and kissed his cheek. Well, where he supposed was his cheek. What he didn’t know was that it was dangerously close to his lips because Jaehwan was too taken aback to say anything. 

 

“ Alright, come outside! I want to see your pretty smile on your beautiful face again! “

 

He stood up, looking for Jaehwan’s hand, and when he had it, he led him outside. They both stood there a bit, blinking, as their eyes got accustomed to the sun. Once they were able to see clearly, they realized that everyone was running on the deck. There was a weird ambiance in the air. Frenzy, excitement, mixed with a bit of anxiety. Finally, Hakyeon was in front of them, looking impatient and stressed. 

 

“ You’re finally here! Get ready, quickly! There is a ship on sight! We’re going to attack them! “

 

And as fast as he came, he left them. He was replaced by Sanghyuk, who was smiling fondly. 

 

“ It’s his first attack as a pirate, he’s a little bit nervous! It’s no big deal, probably some merchants. Taekwoon wanted to wait, he said he wasn’t ready and that he needed to see the queen first, but I think only experience can prepare him. “

 

He also left, going after Hakyeon. Wonshik and Jaehwan followed, looking for their swords and their masks. Once they got them, Wonshik went to check on Hakyeon, who was firmly holding his two blades. Since they didn’t have the time to find him a mask, his face was hidden by a piece of fabric. Wonshik placed a hand on his shoulder, not gripping too hard, just reminding him that he was there. Hakyeon jolted a bit but didn’t turn to look at him. 

 

“ Hey, relax. It’s just a small merchants' ship. It’s going to be fine. We’re here. “

 

“ Wonshik, are we… Are we going to kill them? “

 

Wonshik stayed silent, thinking about the right words to avoid making him freak out. 

 

“ No, I don’t think so. Usually, these kinds of small ships don’t show resistance. They should stay still. We’re just gonna rob them and give them the fright of their lives. “

 

He felt the body under his hand relaxing a little. He really hoped that this time, Hongbin and Sanghyuk wouldn’t make an unnecessary mess. 

 

Soon, they were all gathered, facing the ship that was coming closer. Their ship had no indication that they were pirates, and they had a fake merchant flag floating. The poor and innocent merchants had no idea at this moment that they were about to lose everything. 

 

Before, just like the others, Wonshik was driven by anger. He attacked, taking pleasure in robbing people of everything, just like they did to them. But now, he was much calmer. It became a routine and he had no more grief left. He didn’t want to be guided by such negative feelings. That wasn’t the freedom he wanted. He glanced at Hongbin and Sanghyuk, who were almost jumping, excited like kids about to get an expensive gift. These two still had that madness in them. It would probably never leave their soul. They were happy to kill. They were happy to cause pain and to see the fear in their victim's eyes. He sighed, taking his lovers by the arm and led them far enough to not be heard by Hakyeon. 

 

“ Please, guys… no useless kills. First of all, Jaehwan isn’t feeling well and is never comfortable with that, and Hakyeon… It’s his first attack. Let’s not scare him, alright? “

 

Wonshik couldn’t see their faces well, hidden by the mask, but he knew they were a bit disappointed. 

 

“ Okay… But it’s been a long time… “

 

“ I know, Hongbin. I know. But no matter how many people you will kill, that will never erase your past and your pain. “

 

After that, he left them, knowing Hongbin was angry. He never liked being reminded of his past, nor being told that he was wrong. Wonshik knew that later, Hongbin would be insufferable and probably wouldn’t talk to him for days. But really, he wanted to protect the more fragile ones of the crew; Jaehwan and Hakyeon. He really liked Taekwoon, but today, he wasn’t focusing. Usually, it would be him that gave this kind of lecture to the younger ones. But it was okay. Wonshik didn’t mind. Everyone had their moments of weakness. He just hoped their captain would be in his right mind soon. It was dangerous, for a pirate, to not be able to think and react properly.

 

Finally, the ship was close. They were all ready, not saying anything, just standing there, waiting for the best moment. When they were at a good distance, Sanghyuk hooked onto the other ship, making sure they wouldn’t escape. When the merchants realized what was happening, it was too late. 

 

Just like Wonshik predicted, they didn’t try to resist. As soon as they saw ( and recognized ) Taekwoon’s mask and their weapons, they dropped on their knees, begging for their lives, telling them to take everything but let them go. 

 

Taekwoon wasn’t really difficult to recognize. All dressed up in his scaled armor and intimidating helmet with sharp thorns, shaped like a dragon’s head. There was no doubt when you saw him: he was the one that called himself “ the Son of the Dragon “. Sometimes, Wonshik heard variations of his name, given by survivors: The Sea dragon, The Vengeful Dragon, The Bloody Dragon. All of these names inspired fear.

 

If only they knew that under that intimidating mask; was hiding a shy man, too afraid to confess his feelings to the man he loved. 

 

In the end, the pirates found out that it wasn’t exactly a merchant's ship; they were actors, dancers, and musicians, probably all being some artistic crew that traveled around the country. Even if Sanghyuk and Hongbin weren’t interested at all by what was on the ship and looked clearly disappointed, the rest were absolutely happy. Wonshik took with emotion a superb guqin, probably even more beautiful than the one that stayed in their hidden place. Jaehwan took a flute, babbling about the fact that he was the best flute player of the sea and a few clothes. Hakyeon found some dancing stuff: fans, clothes, and jewels. He happily put them in a bag. And Taekwoon was… zoning out. Their fucking captain was zoning out in the middle of an attack. Thank God the merchants were too scared by Hongbin and Sanghyuk, holding their weapons too close to them to notice that. It would be bad for business if their reputation took a hit like that. Wonshik let out a big sigh. Once again, he needed to take the situation in his hands. But currently, he had a big instrument in the said hands. He went closer to Hongbin, handing him his treasure. 

 

“ Hey, hold onto that for a bit for me, please. Be careful, it’s fragile. “

 

“ But- “

 

Wonshik didn’t let him finish, dropping the item in his arms. One of the entertainers shot them a surprised look. Before leaving, Wonshik heard Hongbin giving a salty answer to his silent interrogation. 

 

“ What, can’t pirates be delicate musicians as well? “

  
  


When he was at Taekwoon’s side, he grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him. 

 

“ Hey, captain, is there someone? Hello? “

 

“ Wh- What are you doing? “

 

“ Are you kidding me? What are YOU doing? We’re supposed to raid an attack and you’re our leader, remember? “

 

Taekwoon seemed to realize where they were, looking around him, surprised. 

 

“ Oh, nice. How is it going? “

 

“ Well, no thanks to you, it’s going well. We’re almost finished. Nothing really interesting, but it was a good exercise for Hakyeon. The people here didn’t try to fight back, so we’re not doing them any harm. “

 

He looked in Hongbin’s direction, relieved to see that the younger hadn’t moved. It was partially to make his arms busy that he gave him the guqin, knowing Sanghyuk wouldn’t try anything alone.

 

“ Taekwoon, we will need to have a talk after this. “

 

His tone was serious, and Taekwoon nodded, lowering his head as if he was a child who got scolded after doing something wrong. 

 

They all left, happily carrying their loot and waving to the musicians. 

  
  
  


______________________

  
  
  


Once they were far enough to take off their masks, Wonshik took Taewkoon by the arm and brought him to his room. Taekwoon sighed, knowing this moment was coming and started taking off his armor as Wonshik started to talk. 

 

“ Taekwoon, what the fuck is happening? You’ve never done that before. Isolating yourself and moping around isn’t new. But zoning out during an attack? You could have put ALL OF US in danger, including yourself. You’re lucky that it wasn’t a big deal today and that I was able to handle it alone. But Taekwoon, you need to get your shit together. You’re being too distracted by your feelings for Hakyeon. I told you to take your time, but it shouldn’t invade on our own safety. Be responsible, Taekwoon. If you fall apart, we’re all going to fall with you. “

 

Taekwoon, only wearing a shirt and a pair of pants now, kept his eyes glued to the floor. 

 

“ I’m sorry… I know I fucked up… But today I just… no, you’re right, I have no excuses, I’m too distracted by Hakyeon. I will… I will settle this. I will do it. “

 

Wonshik came closer, patting his shoulder. 

 

“ The sooner, the better. It’s for the best, Taekwoon. Even if Hakyeon’s answer isn’t positive, at least you will have an answer and you will be able to move on, focus on more important things. “

 

Taekwoon nodded, and Wonshik knew the message was understood. He came back downstairs, cursing these stupid pirates that were particularly stupid today. Since when was he the one in charge of the brain cell in the crew? 

 

When he met the others, he was greeted by excited screams. 

 

“ Shikkie, Shikkie! Look, there is an island, over there! Can we stop, please can we stop and spend the night there? We can dance, sing and play instruments, and celebrate Hakyeon’s first successful attack! He can show us how he dances!  “

 

Hakyeon and Jaehwan were jumping, holding his arms and giving him puppy eyes. Wonshik raised his head and saw the said island, not too far from them. It wasn’t really an island: just sand, rocks, and coconut trees. Wonshik sighed. He was tired, today he had to take care of lots of things. He agreed to spend the night on the island. For now, he was just glad that Jaehwan and Hakyeon were getting along again as if nothing had happened. 

  
  


As the sun was almost setting, they all gathered what they needed and used a small boat to reach the island. As soon as they were close to the shore, Hakyeon jumped, making the craft sway and splashing water everywhere. The boys didn’t say anything; their eyes were glued on the small man, who was laughing, surrounded by water drops, reflecting the red sun.

 

“ What are you doing guys? Hurry up! “

 

They were suddenly brought back to reality, blinking and shaking themselves. 

 

Taekwoon helped Hongbin prepare some food, as Wonshik and Sanghyuk made a fire ( trying not to burn their long hair in the process). Meanwhile, Jaehwan and Hakyeon were trying on the clothes they had stolen from the entertainers earlier, hidden by some rocks. Jaehwan chose some luxurious yellow fabric and a few jewels and helped Hakyeon to dress. They were some traditional clothes, mostly used for performances: grey and white thin fabric decorated with black patterns; flowers and delicate arabesques. A black silk waistband completed the outfit. He didn’t wear any accessories besides a black piece of cloth hiding his face and a fan fixed in his waistband. He also applied some makeup on his eyes, making his gaze fierce. Just like that, Jaehwan thought he was beautiful. He struggled to take his eyes off of him. For a moment, he wanted to prevent Hakyeon from joining the others. He wanted to keep the man for himself. He didn’t want the others to look at him. But it wasn’t possible; eventually, they had to move, Hongbin calling them with an impatient voice. 

 

“ You can go first, I’ll join you later, I need to revise some moves, it’s been a while since I danced dressed like this. You can start playing the instruments with Wonshik, try to agree on a song. “

 

Jaehwan nodded and left. He sat with Wonshik, taking the flute while Wonshik had his guqin on his lap. They discussed for a bit about what they should play, before agreeing for a melody simple enough to play together without messing up. 

 

And suddenly, Hakyeon was there, in front of them, standing behind the campfire with the full moon above him. Voices died, only the melody played by the two musicians and the slow waves splashing against the rocks being heard in the night. Hakyeon’s gaze was different. All innocence, tenderness and usual joy were gone, replaced by strong eyes that made all of them shiver. He started moving, his arms rising above his head in a slow motion. Each gesture was graceful and the look on his face always captivating. It was hard for Jaehwan and Wonshik to keep playing. 

 

Hakyeon danced with the piece of cloth, taking it off his face, revealing an even more mesmerizing expression. Then, he dropped it and used the fan. They all forgot about the food, not wanting this moment to end. There were no words to describe what they were feeling while watching the performance. Was it happiness or melancholy that made their eyes wet? Or was it just because of the beauty they were witnessing? 

 

Wonshik looked around him and realized that the whole crew was literally bewitched by Hakyeon. There was no going back. The man had put all of them under an indefectible spell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were struggling to picture Hakyeon's outfit, it was based on this performance: https://youtu.be/xEaboj2wI_g


	18. Angel of  Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting with a hangover is not fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't supposed to update so soon because I'm taking part in a KNK fic fest but I really missed the gay pirates hcdaizuedh finally, some action! Hope it's not too badly written, I'm not good ar writing it. I don't know when will be the next update but I'll try to write as much as I could!

  Hakyeon felt the sun before he could even open his eyes. The warm rays were caressing his face, like a gentle hand waking him up. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He was feeling good. The sand under him was not the most comfortable place to sleep, but the air was pure, the sound of the sea and birds charming, and the arms around him… unusual. He shifted awkwardly, trying to recall what had happened the night before. He danced, the others were playing the music… then they ate and drank. A lot. Maybe too much. Now that he was starting to remember, he felt a bit nauseous. Thankfully, he knew he didn’t do anything weird. They just danced like crazy and laughed until the night started getting paler. Then they collapsed on the sand, cuddling and falling asleep. He finally took a look to who was by his sides; on his right was Jaehwan, and on his left was Taekwoon. Hakyeon smiled softly at the view of the latter. When he was sleeping like this, he looked so harmless. He moved his arms from Jaehwan’s tight embrace and his fingers stroked the man’s cheek. He could not help himself, his skin was so white and looked so soft. He always felt the need to touch him. The movement made Taekwoon wrinkle his nose, and Hakyeon knew he was close to waking up. He chuckled, gently shaking the men that were keeping him from moving. 

 

“ Guys, please, wake up… I can’t move and I need to pee… “

 

As expected, Jaehwan didn’t move, but Taekwoon suddenly sat up, immediately regretting it when his head started spinning. Hakyeon rolled Jaehwan on the other side and placed a hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder. 

 

“ Stay still! You drank too much last night. Let me grab you some water. “

 

Taekwoon only nodded, groaning as he took his head between his hands. Hakyeon carefully stood up. He might have a low tolerance to alcohol, but at least his hangover wasn’t that terrible. As he was walking towards some rocks, looking for a peaceful place to pee; he realized this was the second time - third if he counted the poisoning incident - that he had gotten drunk. Did it come with the pirate package? It seemed pretty normal to the others to bring the hydromel bottles. He should tell them to slow down a little with it. It wasn’t good for health, and what if they were attacked the day after? It probably wouldn’t happen, but better safe than sorry. 

 

After relieving his bladder, he walked a bit, looking for Sanghyuk, Wonshik, and Hongbin. The men weren’t next to them when he woke up. He found them, on the opposite side of the island, sleeping cuddled together. The lack of clothes didn’t leave any room for doubt regarding their activities. Hakyeon blushed, not wanting to think more about it, and tried to avert his eyes. But he couldn’t help staring at the naked bodies tangled together. They were beautiful.

 

“ If you’re THAT MUCH into voyeurism, you should just tell us, you know. “

 

Hakyeon jumped. He hadn’t noticed that Sanghyuk had opened his eyes, sending him a teasing glare. He blushed, turning his head. 

 

“ I’m not! I was just looking for you since you weren’t with us. You should hurry up and get dressed, what if we’re attacked? Are you going to fight like this? “

 

He heard a laugh that didn’t belong to Sanghyuk but still refused to look in his direction.

 

“ Why not? I bet he would absolutely terrify the enemies with his monstrous big di- “

 

“ JUST GET READY WE SHOULD LEAVE SOON. “

 

Hakyeon ran away, covering his ears and feeling himself blush furiously. 

 

_ Fucking perverted pirates.  _

 

When he came back to Taekwoon’s side, he realized that he completely forgot the water. He cursed himself, mumbling under his breath, as he went to find a clean bowl and some drinkable water. 

  
  
  
  
  


___________________________

  
  
  


“ I have sand everywhere, it’s stuck to my skin and itches! That’s really gross. I hate you. I hate both of you. “

 

Sanghyuk sniggered, joining Hongbin in the water. 

 

“ You’re talking as if you didn’t enjoy it and weren’t the one who was begging for our cocks. “

 

Hongbin ignored him, washing his body and struggling to get rid of every single grain of sand. Sanghyuk stood behind him, gently helping him and caressing his body with care. 

 

“ Are you okay, darling? “

 

“ Maybe I would be if you didn’t moan Hakyeon’s name in the middle of the blowjob I was giving to you. “

 

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.

 

“ Come on, you’re still on that? Wouldn’t you love to suck his dick? I bet it’s big. “

 

They heard a snort behind them and turned to see Wonshik who was entering the water. 

“ You two never stop bickering and talking about Hakyeon. When you do stop, it’s to tease him. Am I not enough for you? “

 

They knew he was joking, but they felt a little bad. Hongbin moved to take his hand, kissing his cheek. 

 

“ Don’t say silly things. I love you. “

 

“  _ We _ love you. “

 

Sanghyuk placed another kiss on the opposite cheek, making Wonshik smile. 

 

“ I know, I know. I love you too guys. But… talking about that… don’t you think you’re going too far in your teasing? Don’t make Hakyeon feel uncomfortable… And be careful, if Taekwoon hears you, he might kill you. “

 

Sanghyuk shrugged.

 

“ Why should I care about Taekwoon? The last I checked, they weren't dating. “

 

“ But you know how much he cares about Hakyeon- “

 

“ So do I. First arrived, first served. I won’t go easy on him just because he’s my captain. “

 

Wonshik sighed. Did Sanghyuk realise how gone he was for Hakyeon? Probably not. 

  
  
  
  


___________

  
  


A few hours later, they were all ready to go back to the ship. Hakyeon let out a big sigh. They took so long to get ready, Hakyeon would have been annoyed if the boys weren’t this cute. 

 

As soon as their ship started moving again, Hakyeon took a moment to think about the previous events. In the heat of the moment, he still hadn’t really thought about it. He went to the top floor, his favorite place. From there, he was feeling peaceful and relaxed, near the sky and overlooking the infinite ocean. But the weather wasn’t good today. The sun was quickly hidden behind huge clouds and it even started to get foggy. It was hard to see around them. They probably should have stopped for the time being so they would not get lost, but Taekwoon knew the route really well and didn’t want to lose more time. Hakyeon shivered, crossed his arms and let them rest against the fence. It would probably start to rain soon. It wasn’t that bad, they could collect some clean water to clean themselves. The salty water of the sea was sticky and definitely not good for his hair. Even if it was short now, he wanted them to be beautiful and silky.

  
  


Finally, he thought about the attack from the other day. It had gone pretty well. He hadn’t had to fight, nor kill anyone. Was it always that easy? If that was the case, he really had been worrying about nothing. If he could continue like this; just robbing merchandise ships without having to take people’s life, he really didn’t mind being a pirate.  

 

He was about to get back down and join the others when something grabbed his attention. He was pretty sure he saw something. They were just shadows in the fog, it could have been the light and dark playing tricks on his eyes. Or it could be something else. He waited a bit, heartbeat picking up as his nails were digging into the wooden fence in front of him. He had a really bad feeling. Something was about to happen. He should quickly go alert the others, but his body wouldn’t move. 

 

And suddenly tearing up the fog, it was there. A massive ship, maybe three times bigger than their own. Hakyeon recognized it immediately. It was a ship of the emperor’s fleet.  Finally his legs followed his orders and shaking, he climbed down the stairs as fast as he could. 

 

“ Guys, guys, there is- “

 

He didn’t need to finish his sentence, the others had also seen it and were watching it quickly coming closer and closer. Hongbin clenched his jaw and his fists, turning to Wonshik. 

 

“ They probably met the merchants from yesterday and they told them the way we were headed. Do you see where you led us? Are we going to die just because you wanted to spare Hakyeon and Jaehwan? “

 

Hakyeon’s eyes widened. He came closer to Wonshik. 

 

“ Shik… Is it true? Did you… Gave the order to not kill them for me? “

 

Wonshik didn’t raise his head and Hakyeon could almost see the weight of his remorse on his shoulders. He wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that he was doing his best for everyone, but he didn’t have the opportunity. Taekwoon yelled something, they took their weapons. trying to get ready for the impact that would come soon. Sanghyuk handed him his blades and he held onto them tightly, as if he was looking for more strength.  They didn’t even have the time to put on their masks. Hakyeon was struggling to process what was happening, but he understood what it meant to attack with their faces exposed. No survivors. 

 

The beginning of the attack transpired like a bad dream, in which Hakyeon couldn’t move his limbs. It wasn’t at all like their previous attack. It wasn’t an attack to rob merchandise. It was an attack to kill. 

 

_ I don’t want to die.  _

 

That was the thought that brought Hakyeon to reality. Around him, the others were already fighting. They couldn’t protect him. He had no other choice. When the first soldier charged in his direction, he was just barely able to counter. It was an unfair fight. The soldier was bigger, stronger, protected by a solid armor. What could he do? 

 

Suddenly, he remembered that day. The day of his first kill. He tried to calm down, to remember that sensation. Remember how he felt, how all the fear and useless feelings had left his body completely. He closed his eyes for a moment. A second. That was enough. When he opened them again, he was determined to take his enemies’ life. All emotions, all useless thoughts had left his brain. The only thing he was feeling was the bloodlust. The only memories he had were of his parents, how they were taken from him, how he was treated like a bastard all those years, mocked, insulted,  _ not loved. _ How he was betrayed and left for dead. Feeding on these vengeful thoughts, he was suddenly stronger, faster. He was finally showing off his skills, dancing with the blades like he used to practice with Taekwoon. He was able to see his enemies’ weaknesses, seeing the opening in the armor where his blades could sink into flesh, drawing out sprays of dark blood, rapidly tainting his white shirt. He got rid of the first one, then another one, and it continued on like that without him being able to tell how many he had killed.  He couldn’t say that he was enjoying it, but somehow he felt powerful. He felt alive. He felt like he was someone. Nothing could stop him. He was jumping, avoiding long swords, crouching down low, cutting the leg’s tendons, and finishing them off by slashing their throats. He didn’t need big and heavy weapons; these blades were enough if you knew where to cut. All of that, Taekwoon had taught him for days; reminding again and again, knowing Hakyeon was more comfortable with small and light blades. 

  
  
  


_________________

  
  
  


The rain started to fall, making the floor slippery and the fight more difficult. Taekwoon missed his helmet that usually protected his face, blinking to avoid being blinded by the water drops. He was also feeling the ship rocking in an unusual way. The sea looked as angry as the soldiers attacking them. 

 

Unlike the previous attack, Taekwoon was on his A game. The ruthless Dragon’s Son had taken the place of the unsure and lost kitten. He had no choice; he needed to protect his comrades. His family. His love. As soon as that thought emerged in his mind, he looked around, suddenly worried about Hakyeon. What if he froze? What if his body was already lying in a pool of blood, lifeless? What if he failed protecting what he cared about the most? 

 

Anxiety rose in his chest, his breath fastening. Finally, his eyes found what he was looking for. The reflection of two short curved blades, moving at a fast pace. Hakyeon was fine. Actually, he was better than fine. Taekwoon stopped fighting for a moment, taken up by the fight a few meters from him. Hakyeon was as graceful and precise as he was when they practiced, but seeing him fight for real was something else. He looked like an Angel of Death. He was deadly beautiful. The way he didn’t hesitate for a second to kill his assailants was sending shivers down Taekwoon’s spine. The naive, innocent and lovely Hakyeon was gone. Taekwoon had created a monster. It was a bit hypocritical, coming from him. But it wasn’t the same for him and the others. They were born monsters. 

 

“ Taekwoon, watch out! “

 

Taekwoon narrowly avoided a sword. He finished off the owner of the weapon quickly, thanking Sanghyuk with a nod. Now that he knew Hakyeon was safe, he could bring his attention back to his own opponents. But a few minutes later, an odd feeling made him turn his head again.

 

Taekwoon’s heart missed a beat when he looked in Hakyeon’s direction. He was suddenly surrounded by more than ten men, pointing their swords at him as he stopped in his tracks, panicked. There was no way he could handle all of them. Taekwoon remembered that after seeing that, he screamed and lost control of his body as if someone else was manipulating his arms, legs, and brain. Soon, he was at Hakyeon’s side, slicing soldiers. Hakyeon started moving again, Taekwoon’s arrival filling him with new strength. They shared no words, attention focused on their attackers. Taekwoon was suddenly  full of rage, the thought of losing Hakyeon driving him almost crazy. In the time of heartbeat, a blink, he realized how much he loved that man and how he could never imagine a life without Hakyeon anymore. How had he lived before meeting him? How had he not realised these vivid feelings that were devouring him like a fire sooner ? 

 

Adrenaline was flooding his body, commanding his body and shutting off every rational thought. That’s why when his back met Hakyeon’s, he jolted and turned to face him. Hakyeon looked at him questioningly, about to tell him that he needed to help the others when Taekwoon stuck his heavy sword into the deck and took his face between his hands. He closed the space between them quickly and crashed his lips on Hakyeon’s, taking his breath away. Hakyeon didn’t push him away. He closed his eyes, answering the kiss and moving his lips. Taekwoon tasted like blood, salt, and rain, and it was probably the same for Hakyeon. They didn’t care. None of them had ever really kissed someone, but there was no hesitation, no shyness due to the fever caused by the fight. Taekwoon moved his hands to hold Hakyeon’s waist, pressing their bodies together. Hakyeon wanted to close his arms around Taekwoon as well, but he was still holding his blades and didn’t know what to do with them; not wanting to drop them, a part of his brain still knowing what was happening around them. 

 

“ Excuse me??? It’s not the fucking moment?? Can’t you do that later??? “

 

A high pitched voice brought them back to reality and they broke the kiss, parting but immediately feeling like they were torn apart from a piece of their own soul. They softly smiled at each other like two fools, before turning their attention back to the fight. They looked in the direction of the voice that had broken their bubble and found Jaehwan, angrily looking at them. 

 

“ What are you waiting for! We’re not finished yet! Hurry up! “

 

Usually, Taekwoon would kick him for ordering him around. But between the kiss and the fight, his brain wasn’t in the condition for that so he just nodded and went to help Sanghyuk and Hongbin. 

 

Jaehwan sighed, knocking out a soldier that thought he had let his guard down. As usual, he was working in tandem with Wonshik. Jaehwan would slow down or knock out the enemy with his metal staff, and Wonshik would terminate them with his big curved sword. That way, Jaehwan didn’t feel like it was him who killed them and he was still useful. Actually, Wonshik liked fighting with him. Before, he would fight with Sanghyuk and Hongbin ( Taekwoon not liking it if someone else was in his way ) but since he had paired up with Jaehwan, he felt calmer and the blood lust had slowly faded away. Now, he was feeling more like he was doing a normal job, executing his tasks without flinching, rather than killing people. Unlike Sanghyuk and Hongbin, he was doing his best to end the job quickly, with the least amount of pain possible. He didn’t like making his enemies suffer, especially with soldiers. Because Jaehwan had been one not that long ago. Wonshik couldn’t help but think, what if they had never met? What if it was Jaehwan in front of him? 

 

Finally, it seemed like the fight was coming to an end. Wonshik and Jaehwan stopped for a moment, looking around them. Their own ship was covered in dead bodies and blood, not a single soul alive. They looked up at the enemy ship, noticing that the rest of the crew had followed the last survivors. 

 

“ Alright, now that we’re done there, let’s help the others finish up! “

 

Wonshik nodded as he followed Jaehwan. The two ships were so close that they just had to jump to go on the other ship. They followed the sound of swords clashing and found the others facing the soldiers remaining, probably the higher officers. But as high as their ranks were, what could they do against the crew of the Dragon’s Son? They weren’t fighting for their lives because they knew they would lose anyway. They were fighting for the last bit of their honor, not wanting to give up. 

 

One of them tried to attack Wonshik from behind, probably hidden until now, but Jaehwan was faster. With his staff, he was able to disarm the soldier, who lost his balance and fell on the floor. Jaehwan stood in front of Wonshik when his eyes suddenly widened as he saw the face of the assailant. 

 

“ Jaehwan? Is that you? Is that really you? “

 

The soldier’s voice was shaking, and so was Jaehwan as his hand tightened around his weapon to avoid dropping it. Behind him, the pirates fell silent. 

 

“ Jaehwan, you know him? “

 

Wonshik’s voice near him was deep and calm, wanting to reassure him. Jaehwan only nodded, words stuck in his throat. Of course one day he would cross the path of a soldier he knew. But he hadn’t been prepared for it. Not now. He tried his best to block the memories that were threatening to resurface, as he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“ Jaehwan… He saw our faces… We can’t- “

 

Jaehwan shook his eyes, closing his eyes. 

 

“ No, please don’t do that, don’t- “

 

“ So the rumors were true. You joined these… criminals… You’re one of them. I didn’t want to believe it, but now that you’re in front of my eyes… You really fell that low huh. “

 

His voice was full of disdain. He didn’t look like he was hurt by the betrayal; he had a disgusted look on his face as if he had bit into a sour lemon. 

 

“ What a pity. You were one of the best amongst us, such a promising commander. And you chose  _ that  _ crew…. Do you know what people say about the Dragon’s Son crew? Not only are they inhuman, but they are full of the worst vices. Tell me, is it true that they are all gay and- “

  
  


He never finished his sentence. Sanghyuk had shut him up for eternity, sinking his spear into the man’s heart, his hands slightly shaking. 

 

“ We are not monsters. “

 

Jaehwan took a moment to realise what just happened, and suddenly looked around him, panicked as if he just remembered something. 

 

“ Guys, we need to get out, NOW! “

 

Taekwoon furrowed his brows. 

 

“ What? But we killed everyone, there is no one left… “

 

“ RUN! HURRY UP! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO EXPLODE! “

 

He took Wonshik’s hand who was the closest and started running, as the others were processing what he just said. 

 

“ But how do you know that- “

 

Jaehwan was already out of sight. After a last glance to the corpses on the floor, they followed him, not understanding but trusting him. When they came to the deck, Jaehwan and Wonshik were already on their ship, trying to move away from the soldier’s ship. 

 

“ Jump! Hurry up, I will catch you! “

 

Now that they were farther, the jump was more difficult, but with Wonshik’s help, it was possible if they were fast enough. Taekwoon went first, followed by Sanghyuk, who struggled because of his weight and almost made Wonshik fall with him. Hakyeon was about to jump when the ship exploded. Taekwoon, Sanghyuk, Jaehwan, and Wonshik threw themselves on the floor, protecting themselves from the debris.     
  
Hakyeon and Hongbin only had a small window to jump to avoid being killed. Because of the force of the blow, Hakyeon was able to reach the fence. His hand hurt a lot as he felt splinters cutting the palm of his hands and he clenched his teeth. Taekwoon and Wonshik quickly stood up, helping Hakyeon climb on the ship. Hakyeon panted and looked behind him in horror, not seeing Hongbin.

 

“ Guys… Where is Hongbin…? “

 

They all froze, looking around them, their brains refusing to accept the possibility of his death. Taekwoon ran to the fence, looking down. 

 

“ Fuck, I’m pretty sure that he jumped with Hakyeon, he probably wasn’t able to grab the fence. “

 

Hakyeon wanted to say that it wasn’t possible, he wasn’t resurfacing from the water, when he saw Jaehwan taking off his heavy clothes and jumping into the sea. 

 

“ Wait… Don’t tell me. “

 

“ Hongbin doesn’t know how to swim. “

 

Sanghyuk was horrified. He saw the explosion, he saw his lover fall into the sea, not being able to move a muscle, and now, he still wasn’t able to jump to help him. What had just happened? 

 

It felt like an eternity until Jaehwan resurfaced, holding Hongbin, who was unconscious. Taekwoon quickly threw them a rope ladder so he could climb up. It wasn’t easy; Jaehwan wasn’t the strongest amongst them and Hongbin was pretty heavy. But with the help of Taekwoon and Wonshik, they were finally on the deck. As soon as his lover was laying on the floor, Sanghyuk was suddenly able to move again and came to Hongbin’s side, cupping his face, a sob escaping his lips. 

 

“ Oh my God, I was so scared- please my love don’t ever do that again… “

 

He was blabbering nonsense and sweet words as if Hongbin could hear him. But the others let him, all of them still under the shock of all the events. Taekwoon looked around him. They were all alive. They won that battle. But near them, the ship was still burning, corpses and blood were still filling the deck with their morbid presence, reminding them of what had happened. Most of them weren’t injured, only suffering from a few cuts, but Hakyeon and especially Hongbin were severely burnt because of the explosion. The fact that Hongbin fainted was a problem, since he was usually their doctor. Taekwoon took a deep breath. They needed to act. This hadn’t been their first attack. It wasn’t the first time one of them was in danger.

 

“ Alright. Everyone, get up. Hakyeon, you’re coming with me to my room, Jaehwan, you know a bit about medicine, right? Or at least, you can read what you need to take care of Hakyeon and Hongbin’s burns. Go to Hongbin’s room to take the supplies you’ll need. Sanghyuk, you take Hongbin downstairs and take care of him until Jaehwan comes to help you. Wonshik, you start to clean the deck. Does everyone understand what they need to do? “

 

They all nodded and started to move. Hakyeon followed Taekwoon to his room. The captain sat him on a chair and without a word started cleaning his hands that were full of splinter cuts. Jaehwan came and handed some bandages, oils, and plants to Taekwoon.

 

“ Do you need help to- “

 

“ No, it’s fine. Go and take care of Hongbin, Sanghyuk is going to panic. “

 

Jaehwan nodded and left the things on the floor, where Taekwoon was crouching between Hakyeon’s legs. He started applying the plants on Hakyeon’s wounds with a lot of care. Hakyeon looked at his focused face, still dirty from dried blood, rain, and soot. He suddenly remembered what had happened between them and blushed. He nervously bit his lower lip, as if it could bring back the feeling of Taekwoon’s lips on his. Why wasn’t Taekwoon saying anything anyway? Had he forgotten? 

 

“ Uh, Taekwoon? “

 

Taekwoon raised his head, worried. 

 

“ Yes? Are you hurt somewhere? “

 

“ No, I’m uh, I wanted to know.... That kiss… What did it mean? Do you… “

 

_ Do you love me?  _

 

He couldn’t finish the sentence. It was too much. What if Taekwoon didn’t love him and had only done it for fun? What if- 

 

“ Yes, I love you. I love you so much, Hakyeon, that it hurts my heart to see you in danger. I love you so much that it almost drove me crazy. “

 

Not averting his eyes, he softly kissed Hakyeon’s hands that he had just finished bandaging. 

 

“ Hakyeon, I’m sorry, I didn’t make a proper confession and kissed you without even asking if you wanted it. If you don’t want it anymore, if you don’t have that sort of feelings toward me, I’ll understand and I will step back. But… If by any chance, you share these feelings, would you be my lover? “


End file.
